Latest Auburn recruits:
:lol:
Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Arkansas in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name.
Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Backwater High School, Backwater, N.C. Also leads the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed, he wanted Auburn to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick".
Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 3rd generation welfare family. At 24 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother indicates Woodrow and child number 9 might have the same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending, but feels he will be found innocent because "The dude said something bad 'bout my Mamma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrak train outside Chicago. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks the AU on Auburn's helmet stands for "Autistic", but stillmeets Auburn's sociology department's entrance requirements. Insistson wearing number 12. It matches his ACT score.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit, but is confident that none of the other 6 will file charges. Likes white women and Cadillacs. ThinksTaco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jackson, Mississippi. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." Doesn't know the meaning of a lot of other words, either.