Canadian_Cowgirl
Well-known member
Welcome to Manitoba
Thank you for visiting our beautiful province. Here are a few
things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant:
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at, did more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your BMW.
I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now drive or get it the
hell out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years- old. Yeah, we saw Bambi die. We got over it.
4. Any references to 'grain fed' when talking about our women
will get your butt kicked...by our women.
5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. No, there's no 'Vegetarian Special' on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon
9. You bring Coke into my house, you should bring rye along, and ice.
10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're rreal
impressed. We have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town,
but we stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want too. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If
you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them. The more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing.
15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called
being friendly. Understand the concept?
16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.
Please enjoy your stay.
Manitoba
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six
days.
Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the
seventh day.
He inquired of God, 'Where have You been?'
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, 'Look Michael, look what I've made!'
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, and I've put life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance.
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, 'For example,
Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while
southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a
hotspot.
And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over
here is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to
different countries. 'This one will be extremely hot and arid
while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large
land mass and said, 'What's that one?'
'Ah,' said God. 'That's Manitoba , the most glorious place on
earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. The
people from Manitoba are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and
they are going to be found traveling the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving,
and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of
peace.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
'What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!'
God replied wisely, 'Wait until you see the dingbats I'm putting
around them in Saskatchewan, Ontario & the U.S.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thank you for visiting our beautiful province. Here are a few
things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant:
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at, did more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your BMW.
I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now drive or get it the
hell out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years- old. Yeah, we saw Bambi die. We got over it.
4. Any references to 'grain fed' when talking about our women
will get your butt kicked...by our women.
5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. No, there's no 'Vegetarian Special' on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon
9. You bring Coke into my house, you should bring rye along, and ice.
10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're rreal
impressed. We have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town,
but we stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want too. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If
you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them. The more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing.
15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called
being friendly. Understand the concept?
16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.
Please enjoy your stay.
Manitoba
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six
days.
Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the
seventh day.
He inquired of God, 'Where have You been?'
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, 'Look Michael, look what I've made!'
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, and I've put life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance.
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, 'For example,
Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while
southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a
hotspot.
And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over
here is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to
different countries. 'This one will be extremely hot and arid
while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large
land mass and said, 'What's that one?'
'Ah,' said God. 'That's Manitoba , the most glorious place on
earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. The
people from Manitoba are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and
they are going to be found traveling the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving,
and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of
peace.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
'What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!'
God replied wisely, 'Wait until you see the dingbats I'm putting
around them in Saskatchewan, Ontario & the U.S.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
