• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.


Help Support Ranchers.net:

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2005
Reaction score
Big Muddy valley
One day my housework-challenged husband

decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry

room, he shouted ! to Me, "What setting do

I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it

say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...


A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."


"It's just too hot to wear clothes

today," Jack says as he

stepped out of the shower, "honey, what

do you think the neighbors would think

if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your

money," she replied.


He said - Shall we try swapping positions


She said - That's a good idea... you

stand by the ironing board while I sit

on the sofa and fart.


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good

looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor


A man and his wife, now in their 60's,

were celebrating their

40th wedding anniversary. On their

special day a good fairy

came to them and said that because they

had been so good that

each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the

world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had

airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30

years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!



Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.



Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.


Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

! ________________________________

Q: What does it mean when a man is in

your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.


Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill

their males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.


Q: Why do men whistle when they are

sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they

need to wipe.


Q: What is the difference between men and


A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her

every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.


Q: How do you keep your husband from

reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction




Send this to five bright, funny women you

know and make their day!

And send this to five bright men who have

enough sense of humor to take it!

Latest posts