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Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
22,021
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Location
Big Muddy valley
One day my housework-challenged husband

decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry

room, he shouted ! to Me, "What setting do

I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it

say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...



-----------------------------------------------------------



A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."



--------------------------------



"It's just too hot to wear clothes



today," Jack says as he



stepped out of the shower, "honey, what

do you think the neighbors would think



if I mowed the lawn like this?"



"Probably that I married you for your

money," she replied.



_______________________



He said - Shall we try swapping positions

tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you

stand by the ironing board while I sit

on the sofa and fart.



_______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good

looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

-------------------------------------------------





A man and his wife, now in their 60's,

were celebrating their

40th wedding anniversary. On their

special day a good fairy

came to them and said that because they

had been so good that

each one of them could have one wish.



The wife wished for a trip around the

world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had

airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30

years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!





__________________

A PRAYER....



Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.





AMEN



________________________________







Q: Why do little boys whine?



A: They are practicing to be men.



__________________________________







Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?



A: Trustworthy.



! ________________________________







Q: What does it mean when a man is in

your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?



A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.



_________________________________









Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill

their males after mating?



A: To stop the snoring before it starts.



___________________________________







Q: Why do men whistle when they are

sitting on the toilet?



A: It helps them remember which end they

need to wipe.



_____________________________________






Q: What is the difference between men and

women?



A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her

every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.



__________________________________







Q: How do you keep your husband from

reading your e-mail?



A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction

Manuals"

!

__________________________________



Send this to five bright, funny women you

know and make their day!



And send this to five bright men who have

enough sense of humor to take it!
 

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