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Most Disgusting Ranch Experience

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Mountain Cowgirl

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As I was walking by the alfalfa field this morning, my eye was drawn from the big pivot wheel circle system to the old abandoned "big gun" over in the corner by some other antiquated macherny. The memory came back of my experience with a big gun on a ranch that was bought by city folks sometime in the 1980s.

I answered the ad as a ranch manager and trainer. I lasted a couple of hours on the job as they wanted me to teach their big-city teenagers how to be ranchers. The kids had no interest. Anyway, one of the first lessons was holding each 40-foot section of the 2" line up so to make sure the ground squirrels or red diggers as they are known around these parts were slid out the end. Well, the two brat teens thought it was funny so when they hooked up the sections to the big gun, they purposely didn't tip them. I was unaware of this as I was down in another area priming the neglected pump. The section feeding the big gun was the last to be turned on. I hit the valve and from a distance, I could see no water and I saw the teens running back toward the ranch house. I shut it off and bled it.

Sure enough, when I reached the big gun was the gruesome sight of a distorted head with bulging huge science fiction alien-looking eyeballs protruding from the big gun nozzle. Blood and slime oozing around the head. I did what had to be done to remove the mutilated red digger, got the water going, and went to the ranch house and quit. I have seen bloated cows and all kinds of gross things, but this sticks in my mind as the grossest. I even saw my dad chop the top of his foot with a sharp ax and I had to stitch it up and give him an antibiotic shot, but somehow the big gun incident is still at the top of my gross list.

What is your most disgusting ranch experience?
 
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Hey, Faye, you spelled discussing wrong........disgusting. Or, did you mean to spell it wrong?
 
Well, since you asked, I suppose it was just this morning. My gut tolerance is usually pretty high but I guess the bar was lowered a bit today. In the calving shed, pitching the cow schmidt out. My big Pyrenees dog always likes to sneak out some placenta and gnaw on that while I tend to mom and baby. So, I'm back at the house with my snotty eggs and bacon and look under the table and lo and behold, my dog decided to hork up about half a bushel of pretty much intact placenta. I gave my breakfast to my Bouvier.
 
I ran a full time coyote trap line in the 80's. Do that for a few years and you wont find a lot that is disgusting. The most disgusting one I can think of involved a cow with a dead calf in her. I had to pick up a friend and delver him to the hospital early for a hip replacement. So I am out in the dark feeding. There is a cow in the corral because she had poked an eye out. As I go by her the wind hits my and it don't smell good. A closer look with the flash light I see a calf head poking out. So I swing a couple gates and run her into the chute. Reach in and get calf pieces to pull out. Finally just get a hold of the spine. As it comes out so does about 10 gallons of foul liquid that splashes all over me (and my brand new chute). I gave her a big blast of LA200 (what I had handy) and ran. To the house for fresh cloths and a shower. Then drove like NSCAR to pick up Dan and get him to the hospital in time.
 
I ran a full time coyote trap line in the 80's. Do that for a few years and you wont find a lot that is disgusting. The most disgusting one I can think of involved a cow with a dead calf in her. I had to pick up a friend and delver him to the hospital early for a hip replacement. So I am out in the dark feeding. There is a cow in the corral because she had poked an eye out. As I go by her the wind hits my and it don't smell good. A closer look with the flash light I see a calf head poking out. So I swing a couple gates and run her into the chute. Reach in and get calf pieces to pull out. Finally just get a hold of the spine. As it comes out so does about 10 gallons of foul liquid that splashes all over me (and my brand new chute). I gave her a big blast of LA200 (what I had handy) and ran. To the house for fresh cloths and a shower. Then drove like NSCAR to pick up Dan and get him to the hospital in time.
You were asked...YUK.
 
C-sections on cows with a dead calf inside, prolapses, anything that involves dealing with the BLM or USFS. Take your pick i guess.
Yes, having to cut the head off a calf and go in and get its front legs unfolded, isn't fun or pretty. I was always elected to go in as I had smaller diameter but long arms. Dealing with the government is high stress to say the least.
 

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