NOT K MART

[OldDog/NewTricks]

True Story:
When K Mart Moved into Gilroy -
Their Phone Number was was one digit different than the Ranch Number (Same Number different Pre Fx) (842 n 847)
This PISSED My dad off Big Time - K Mart phone calls all day -
Phone Co would fix it by giving him a NEW ### and that would Cost Him $$$$ + he has had his phone ### for 40+ years...

"I had fun with it!"
I would answer the phone "NOT K MART"!
I would lay all kinds of Lines on people.
Women:
What are you wearing? Would you *&^%* in trade for ????
I Fired Employees
A girl employee called at 6 AM on a Sunday morning to say she as sick
I asked her "Card Number"
I then said - Didn't you get a Pink Slip Friday?
She asked who I was.
I said I was Mike - Bill and I had been going over Register Tapes and Knew What She Had Done!
Oh My God! How did you figure that-out?
We're Trained...

Men:
Pick Fights for Managers - - -
"Was That Sweet Sounding Thing Your Wife? Does She F*&K As Good As She Sounds?
"Come Down Here You Loud Moth Pencil-Neck - I'll Kick Your A$$"

One Lady Called IN
NOT K Mart!
Is my husband there?
Lady - How am I to know Who your Husband Is?
He's driving the Gray Buck
Oh! that would be in "Automotive" - I'll connect you.

(In my big deep voice)
"Automotive"
Is the man with the Gray Buck there?
NO! He and his wife Left. (she had said she was his wife - earlier)
"He Just Called Me and Said He Would Be 4 or 5 Hours"!!!!!!!
I'm Sorry - he ask if he could use my phone -
When he hung-up he and the little Blond, with him Left!!!!!!

I have a ton of stories.
My Friends Could Not Believe My Stories.
Many would sit by the phone so they could Join the FUN

Some people wold say "I WAS GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW"
I'd say - They CALL ME!True Story:
When K Mart Moved into Gilroy -
Their Phone Number was was one digit different than the Ranch Number (Same Number different Pre Fx) (842 n 847)
This PISSED My dad off Big Time - K Mart phone call all day -
Phone Co would fix it by giving him a NEW ### and that would Cost Him $$$$ + he has had his ### for 40+ years...

"I had fun with it!"
I would answer the phone "NOT K MART"!
I would lay all kinds of Lines on people.
Women:
What are you wearing? Would you *&^%* in trade for ????
Fired Employees

Men:
Pick Fights for Managers - - -
"Was That Sweet Sounding Thing Your Wife? Does She F*&K As Good As She Sounds?
"Come Down Here You Loud Moth Pencil-Neck - I'll Kick Your A$$"

One Lady Called IN
NOT K Mart!
Is my husband there?
Lady - How am I to know Who your Husband Is?
He's driving the Gray Buck
Oh! that would be in "Automotive" - I'll connect you.

(In my big deep voice)
"Automotive"
Is the man with the Gray Buck there?
NO! He and his wife Left. (she had said she was his wife - earlier)
"He Just Called Me and Said He Would Be 4 or 5 Hours"!!!!!!!
I'm Sorry - he ask if he could use my phone -
When he hung-up he and the little Blond, with him Left!!!!!!

I have a ton of stories.
My Friends Could Not Believe My Stories.
Many would sit by the phone so they could Join the FUN

Some people wold say "I WAS GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW"
I'd say - They CALLed ME!

 

[loomixguy]

Years ago, and even today, I always had fun with telemarketers. If they would call the shop, I'd tell'em, "Wait just a sec, I need to shut the welder off...." then go back and hang the phone up in 10 or 15 minutes. My parents hated this, but they realized how effective it was, as within a month or 2 the number of calls from telemarketers really declined. This was a long time before the "do not call" thing.

Another good one is to answer and then act like you are mentally challenged. Alter your voice a little, tell them "This is Roscoe!" and proceed to say when they have asked for "Joe" or "Al" ..."He ain't here. He's up at Flossie's gettin' a rub and tug!"

Now we get calls from call centers in the Philippines. I can tell from their voice if they are Filipino, and if it's a girl, I begin to lay the smooth talk on her in Tagalog. Some of them will squeal if you ask if they are wearing underwear, or what color it is. Or I ask, "Is this Rose?" There is always a Rose, or a Jinkee, or a Grace. A real good way to get them to hang up is to ask them if they used to work on Fields Avenue in Angeles City. Tell them you remember them from Gilley's Roadhouse, or the Blue Nile, or the VooDoo. Pretty soon the calls dwindle. Too much fun! And Old Dog is right....they called YOU.

 

[Faster horses]

This wasn't as much fun as you two had, but a rancher here would
listen to thier spiel, then when they were done, he'd say, "I'll
give you my address for you to send the check."

That would stump them and then they'd of course say,
"what check"? To which he would reply, "well, you got paid
for talking to me, now I want paid for listening to you.
Fair's, fair, right?"

That usually caused the telemarketer to hang up.

 

[Shortgrass]

My SIL's grandma got such a call once that said "How are you Mrs ___?" She was very serious as she replied "I'm glad you asked," then launched into her aches & pains until they hung up on her!

 

[jodywy]

I ask if they want to buy a pot of calves, then you explaine what a pot load is and what they weigh and the price you want