Ole and Sven

[Big Muddy rancher]

Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it,
his foolish dog knocked the gun over, it went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin.
Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to...and there was his doctor, Sven.
"Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very
little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da pellets."
"What's the bad news?", asks Ole "The bad news is dat scattershot did some pretty extensive damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer
you to my sister, Lena ."
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis
Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye."

 

[gcreekrch]

:lol: Ya.

 

[rancher rick]

+1

 

[Faster horses]

I bet you made that one up.


















:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[DejaVu]

:lol2: :clap:

 

[leanin' H]

Well I think I just about peed from laughing! THAT WAS AWESOME!

 

[kolanuraven]

I LOVE these jokes!!!!


More please!!!

Haven't heard them since the years at the ranch in NE

 

[Denny]

Ole and Lena went for a sunday drive and on their travels they ran across a little skunk that had been hit by a car it was wet and cold outside. As they passed by Lena said Ole we need to take that little fella to the vet. So they pick up the skunk and set it on the floor of the car. The skunk is very cold and wet Lena says we need a way to warm him up to which Ole says vell just stick him up under yer dress. Lena says OH Ole vat about da smell to which Ole reply's Aw I'm sure he won't mind.

 

[George]

Ole and Lena went for a sunday drive and on their travels they ran across a little skunk that had been hit by a car it was wet and cold outside. As they passed by Lena said Ole we need to take that little fella to the vet. So they pick up the skunk and set it on the floor of the car. The skunk is very cold and wet Lena says we need a way to warm him up to which Ole says vell just stick him up under yer dress. Lena says OH Ole vat about da smell to which Ole reply's Aw I'm sure he won't mind.

That is the kind of joke that will get you banned from Firearmstalk.com

 

[kolanuraven]

There is one about the pickle packer...... I can't remember it it all...any one know that one?

 

[Denny]

Ole and Lena went for a sunday drive and on their travels they ran across a little skunk that had been hit by a car it was wet and cold outside. As they passed by Lena said Ole we need to take that little fella to the vet. So they pick up the skunk and set it on the floor of the car. The skunk is very cold and wet Lena says we need a way to warm him up to which Ole says vell just stick him up under yer dress. Lena says OH Ole vat about da smell to which Ole reply's Aw I'm sure he won't mind.

That is the kind of joke that will get you banned from Firearmstalk.com

Who cares. Its a joke. I cleaned it up from the way its told sure glad I'm not as anal as you are.

Firearm STALK sounds about right. =gun NUTS

 

[Denny]

There is one about the pickle packer...... I can't remember it it all...any one know that one?

Better not tell that one or you'll get kicked off Firearm STALK :roll:

 

[kolanuraven]

There is one about the pickle packer...... I can't remember it it all...any one know that one?

Better not tell that one or you'll get kicked off Firearm STALK :roll:

I have no idea what Firearm STALK is anyway. Never heard of such

 

[littlejoe]

I'm thinking if you occasionally get to go on a 'ride along' with local Officer Friendly and if your dream is to catch some 'interstate drug runners' and 'run 'em in' and if Officer Friendly lets you bring your bullet along as long as you don't have a gun and if you keep your bullet really shined up and are real proud of it and want to post pictures of it on the internets, why by gollys, firearmstalk is the place fer yu!

 

[George]

I'm thinking !

Well that would be a first!!!!

 

[littlejoe]

 

[Larrry]

Wasnt that the story where the guy worked in the pickle factory. But he got fired because he got caught with his willy in the pickle slicer. Oh my gosh how did it all work out.....fine except he got fired and the pickle slicer, she got fired too

 

[Long Pines]

Ole and Sven were out running coyotes on their snowmobiles when Sven sees a coyote across a frozen reservoir. He races across the ice and suddenly plunges out of sight. Ole hurries over and laying on his belly at the edge of the hole can see Sven under the water pulling the rope trying to get his machine started. Frantically Ole searches for something that he can use to pull Sven out of the water. Hi finds a piece of rope and drops it to Sven and pulls him to the surface. Once Sven's head is above the water, Ole yells, "Sven, ya big dummy, don't ya know that you got to choke that machine to get it started." and then pushes him back under the water.

 

[Soapweed]

Ole and Sven were out running coyotes on their snowmobiles when Sven sees a coyote across a frozen reservoir. He races across the ice and suddenly plunges out of sight. Ole hurries over and laying on his belly at the edge of the hole can see Sven under the water pulling the rope trying to get his machine started. Frantically Ole searches for something that he can use to pull Sven out of the water. Hi finds a piece of rope and drops it to Sven and pulls him to the surface. Once Sven's head is above the water, Ole yells, "Sven, ya big dummy, don't ya know that you got to choke that machine to get it started." and then pushes him back under the water.

This rather reminds me of a happening from a few years ago. One of my friends and his hired hand were ready to ride their horses out of the corral. After my friend mounted his young horse, the horse proceeded to buck violently and dump him in the dirt. The air was knocked out of him, and he lay on the ground for quite awhile trying to regain his senses. The hired hand had ridden wildly off in hot pursuit of the bucking horse, and after some time was able to catch the horse to bring it back. The poor upended cowboy was getting shakily to his feet. When he was finally able to talk, he admonished the other fellow that if this ever happened again, to please see how badly hurt the bucked off cowboy was before heading out to retrieve the get-away horse.