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Hanta Yo

Well-known member
Feb 11, 2005
Reaction score
South Central Montana
  • I've been thinking a good long time about bringing this up. After all the mud-slinging and name-calling in Bull Sessions, I think now is the time.

    I listen to news radio; our local which also carries Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, and Michael Reagan.

    I also have been married twice; he has kids on his side, I have kids on my side, we have one between us.

    I read the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and it made me cry. Read it the second time and it made me think. The stuff going on in "Bull Sessions" the last few days made me ill, especially when someone made a nasty comment to my HUSBAND. I couldn't believe someone could make such a nasty comment and he not knowing him, especially since my husband has NEVER made a nasty comment to this person I am writing about.

    "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" is a wonderful book. In the past, I always felt I wasn't "appreciated" or not enough was done for me but I was always thinking about me, me, me. I started turning things around, giving MY SPOUSE some hi fives, giving him credit for everything he does. I thought in my mind he would get a "big head" and would treat
me like ****. Not so. I've found you guys (through my wonderful spouse) are down-to-earth, love the simple things in life, and will do everything possible to protect your family, love your wife.

Good Luck for everything you do.

I always heard marriage was 50-50. It's not.
Sometimes you give 90% and they give 10%, the next time
it might be the other way around.

We will be married 42 years this year and I've got a good one.
Don't know if he feels the same about me, but I kinda think so.
We've been through some tough times, but the good times
way outweighed the bad. We had some good examples to help
us in this marriage thing, and that helped us a great deal.

Patience with the other persons imperfections is pretty important.
None of us is perfect. Respect is another biggie. We are both
two different persons, but always respect where the other one is
coming from.

Sounds like a good book, Hanta Yo. I'll add it to my list!! Thanks for mentioning it.
On the chance of coming off "preachy" and Lord knows I don't mean that for my intent, read what St. Paul had to say about love. I usually copy and give this to every newlywed couple. "Love is sacrifice" pretty well sums it up. If people would remember that and the one about truely loving onself and everyone around them, the world would be a lot better place.

Hope I didn't "bum" anyone out as I am not a very outspoken christian and believe it is better to teach by example, but I just couldn't resist posting this on this thread. Hope all have a good day. As for me, I'm going to eat a great big rib steak and then go to the neighbors to throw some loops at critters! :D
Well, I've got myself a good man and I plan on keeping him. He is everything a good man should be and more.
Hanta, i will be going to bozeman sometime this week and will be stopping by the Barnes and Noble book store to find this book!! thanks for the suggested reading :D
I, too, have been lucky in finding a damned good man :D he is kind and gentle and is definitely not afraid of putting in a hard day's work....really cannot remember his last "full" day off!!
most of what i have learned about marriage has come to me by trial and sometimes, error :wink: many other lessons were free....given to me by older folks who tell me of their 50-60-70 year marriages!! i still sit in amazement and listen intently to the elderly as they speak of all they went through and all the storms they weathered together...something almost unheard of today!!! once upon a time, folks EVERYWHERE believed in the vows they took....for better or worse (we have all been there :wink: )...richer or poorer (are STILL there)...in sickness and in health (reminds me of Reader :D )
bless you all and i hope you ALL are having a simply wonderful weekend!!!
Did ya hear the one about the guy that wasn't married. His buddies asked him why. He said he was looking for the perfect woman and he found her once. They asked well why didn't you get married.

He said "she was looking for the perfect man"

Do you know why single women don't pass gas?

They don't have an a___ole till they get married.
I've seen it over and over, all you girls want a bad guy. Then you get one and realize what you have and you want a good guy. So many should learn what a good guy is the first time around.

Pick a man or a woman just like a good horse. Not so much by what they look like but more by what they have for heart and try.

I have a good friend who picked a bad one and got burned real bad. Now he's a lot smarter. He mentioned to me the other night that he doesn't want anyone who he has to take care of or wants to take care of him. He wants someone who can take care of themselves and able to share lifes experiances.

Get a prospective mate or friend in a tight spot and see how they react and then you will be able to tell a lot about them. And don't rush things!

There, enough of my Ann Landers imitation!
In Andy Adam's book, THE LOG OF A COWBOY, a bunch of Texas trail hands were sitting around the campfire philosophizing. One commented, "Why is it that a nice girl will pass up a dozen good guys, and then fawn over some scrub?" Ain't it the truth.

Another incident from that book that I recall, was that one would-be romanticist cowpoke was talking about lost love. He was trying to convince a girl friend to marry him, without success. As he recalled years later, "The more I 'suaded her, the more she'd 'fuse." :lol:
true, guys!! most young ladies do chase after the "rebel without a clue"-type....then, most of us grow up and want some sort of security and true companionship....the first hubby (when i was 17 :oops: ), was the rebel/bad guy type and he wore off...real quick. The second time around, i was more mature, had learned my painful lessons and was ready for someone also ready to settle down and make some roots!! be patient, single men out there....she's there, somewhere....probably looking for you!!! :wink: :wink:
I appreciate all your posts... I just believe if women didn't live on EXPECTATIONS and their RIGHTS life would be a bunch simpler. Love your man, treat him as if he matters to you and your world, he'll treat you back with love and honor and respect. THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THAT SENTENCE. I grew up with a feminist mother who taught myself and my younger sisters to be so self-centered. I didn't realize it until I read that book. I'm now working with my daughter to show him that he "counts", his opinion matters, to include him in her life. The "little" things I didn't think he cared about (my feminism) really did mean alot to him and that's how I realized how much men want to be included, want the respect and honor from their daughters and their wives. I've heard some scathing remarks women have made to their friends in front of their man, and expecting him to accept such treatment. I know it goes the other way, but like I mentioned above, there are exceptions to the rule.
Along with loving my husband, I also LIKE him very much.

I can remember a women I was just becoming acquainted with saying to me how nice it was that I said good things about my husband. Not many women did that, most complained about them. It was refreshing to hear someone who appreciated their partner.

I never forgot her comments and she was pretty right on, when you listen to what women say.

My husband is also my best friend. I was 17 and he 19 when we got married. "It will never last," was said plenty at the time. Well, here we are 42 years later!

And interestingly enough, we are definitely opposites.
Two observations from one opinionated woman married 41 happy years:

Don't marry someone you meet over the internet !!!! Have seen that done and it was always done poorly.
Instead get some reliable, caring, trustworthy friends to introduce you to the right type person. They often know you better than you know yourself.

And Lonnnnngggg engagements til you get past the starry eyed stage and can see the person rationally. What kind of character does he really have? Would you want him to be father to your children?

Meet all his friends and see what types he hangs with.

Is he honorable?

Guess that's more than two :roll:
for the men..
I married a Miss Right
I just didnt know her first name was Always

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None... it should be opened when she brings it.

How do you fix a womans watch?
You dont, there is a clock on the oven.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to......or.....because they can

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