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Perks of Being Over 55

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PERKS OF BEING OVER 55


It may be a while for some of you to get there but look what you have to look forward to!!

PERKS OF BEING OVER 55

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks! into the room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list.
 

DOC HARRIS

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Oldtimer said:
PERKS OF BEING OVER 55


It may be a while for some of you to get there but look what you have to look forward to!!

PERKS OF BEING OVER 55

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks! into the room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list.
List?? - - -What List? I don't see no stupid List! :lol: :lol:
 

nr

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A sure way to keep feeling like you're young is to have a 93 yr old living with you :)
 

DOC HARRIS

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katrina said:
I can drink all the beer I want and not worry about getting to a bathroom, because I can wear depends. :D :D :D
Depends? What Depends? I don't see no stupid Depends? :lol: :lol: Sorry I was late with this - I had to go change my stupid Depends :shock: :???:
 

ranchwife

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DOC HARRIS said:
ranchwife said:
YeeeeHaaaaaa----only 19 more years of holding in my stomach!!!!!! :shock: :wink:
Stomach? What stomach? I don't see no stupid stomach! :lol: :lol:

it's that thing that keeps some folk from seeing their toes!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Jeannie

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Who Cares?
Oldtimer, a lot of the items on this list also apply to those of us who are over 45! :( :eek: What a depressing reality! :???: :???:
 

nr

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And I just read down the list for the second time... and found it
funny all over again! Another perk?
 

ranchwife

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Murgen said:
it's that thing that keeps some folk from seeing their toes!!!

"It's not a beer belly, it's a tool shed" :D :D

My dad use to call his belly "the only thing i got that is bought, paid for and cannot be taken away by the government"!! :wink:
 

nr

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ranchwife said:
Murgen said:
it's that thing that keeps some folk from seeing their toes!!!

"It's not a beer belly, it's a tool shed" :D :D

My dad use to call his belly "the only thing i got that is bought, paid for and cannot be taken away by the government"!! :wink:

:clap: :clap: :clap:
 

ranchwife

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nr said:
ranchwife said:
Murgen said:
"It's not a beer belly, it's a tool shed" :D :D

My dad use to call his belly "the only thing i got that is bought, paid for and cannot be taken away by the government"!! :wink:

:clap: :clap: :clap:

then again, he use to also call it "mom's playground".....some things a teenage girl just does not need to know :shock: :shock: :shock: :wink:
 

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