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PILOTS & ENGINEERS

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Silver

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PILOTS & ENGINEERS


After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with
the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond
in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was
taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense
of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints
and problems as submitted by a major airline and the solution
recorded by maintenance engineers.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like
a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
 

Juan

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The best laugh I've had for a long time.My kind of people!
 

nr

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Those were unique!!
Do you suppose if we wives put a complaint list up on the fridge
we'd get something similar in comments
?

In our house is might read:

Complaint: Outside faucet won't turn off or on.

Answer: Showed faucet who's boss: broke pipe off at wall while fixing.
 

passin thru

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Complaint: Outside faucet won't turn off or on

Answer: Just like the wife, when I figure out how to fix her I will take on the faucet.
 

ranchwife

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I agree with Hanta Yo..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
welcome aboard, passing through!!! sounds like you will be a welcome addition!!! :wink:
 

passin thru

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Good to be here. This sure is nice to be here, a lot more relaxing than other sites I've seen. Some are downright mean.


"A gentleman learns how to suffer ignorance with a smile."[/img]
 

HAY MAKER

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Juan said:
The best laugh I've had for a long time.My kind of people!


Say Juan if you want a good laugh ask big dummie from big beaver for his web site address,You take a good look at that canuckle head ,guaranteed to get you in a good mood.............good luck
 

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