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Poem about Saddle Tramp

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Jinglebob

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I was gonn'a save this for Deadwood, but seein's as how so many won't get to come, I'll post it here and may read it at Deadwood too.

When Saddle Tramp was up for the fourth there were a couple of incidents with rattle snakes and a mouse so me and the family threw this together yesterday.

I even asked Saddle Tramp if I had his permission to share it, (Tho' if he'd a said no, I probably would have just ignored him. 'Coure he'll probably write a better one about me and some of my misdeed and get even! :lol: )

Marty’s Mouse and Rattlesnake Service

If you’ve got some pesky varmints
Who are driving you insane
Then listen up dear people
And harken my refrain

I know a man who can help you out
With all them pesky critters
He has a service to eradict them
With his tools of heavy hitters

With just a couple simple tools
Like a putter or an axe
He will come and eliminate your problem
So just send ol' Marty a fax

See Marty hates them varmints
Has a deep seated resentful fear
Of slithery slimey slippery snakes
Just their thought causes him to tear

And he also hates them mices
With an unholy unknown dread
He will never ever rest easy
Until everyone of them is dead

So he started up this service
To rid the land of pests
He hunts them day and night
Roots them from there very nests

But they’ve taken poor ol’ Marty
And thrown him in a jail
He’s under lock and key
And they won’t even post his bail

See he was way out in California
In a place called Disneyland
When he spotted a big black eared mouse
And that rodent was leadin’ the band

Marty let out a primal scream
And he charged that wretched rat
Luckily he had his wreckin bar
And a shiney aluminum bat

But Mickey’s been in a fight or two
And he’s learned some dirty tricks
He starts throwin’ karate punches
And kickin’ kung foo kicks

So Marty counters with some ty kwon do
And some moves he learned from a Ranger
He then takes a flyin’ leap
And he’s got ol’ Mick in danger

Yes, he’ chokin’ poor ol’ Mickey
Had a hammerlock around his throat
Was tryin’ to gouge out his eye
While hangin’ off his coat

And he was kickin’ him in the ankle
With a deadly kung foo move
Had a mouthful of a huge mouse ear
Like he had a point to prove

Ol’ Mickey went to buckin’
Kind’a like Tipperary’s ghost
Tryin’ to shake our poor crazed hero
But the part I liked the most

Was when security all came runnin up
To try and stop this fray
Marty just pulled out a 9 iron
And kept them all at bay

All the while he was ridin’ and a rakin’
That big mouse just like a bronc
A whippin’ and a spurrin’ him
Just waitin’ for the horn to honk

Marty was swingin’ his rawhide quirt
Faster than a herd of army ants
That rawhide was raisin’ welts
Plumb thru Mickey’s yeller pants

Well they finally got the two apart
They took Mickey to the vet
And they’d had to “taser” Marty
But I’d be willin’ to bet

That if we all pitched in some money
We could get Johnny Cochrun out a Hell
He’d get all them charges dropped
And get ol’ Marty out of that cell

And again Marty would be ridin’ high
A tryin’ to rid the land
Of sneaky snakes and rotten rodents
Now, wouldn’t that be grand?


Robert Dennis
with help from the family
8/29/05
 

ranchwife

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Oh myyyyy.....what a visual that one brought on!!! :shock: Thanks for the much needed laugh!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: However, I think "payback" from Saddletramp is definitely in order!! :wink: :wink:
 

Hanta Yo

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What's he think about BATS? Hmmm? At one time we had bats that lived in a recreation building. Ever hit bats with a ping pong paddle? Great sport!!
 

Cal

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That if we all pitched in some money
We could get Johnny Cochrun out a Hell
He’d get all them charges dropped
And get ol’ Marty out of that cell

:twisted: :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:
 

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