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POEM FOR S.S.A.P.- re quotes I love to hate in Bull Session

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Hanta Yo

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Justice
By JoAnn H. Ward
Arbon, Idaho

"Come help me, Hon
to sort some cows.
I'll meet you at the gate.
I know yer goin' into town,
But this won't make you late."

"You'll have to ride
the brown mare.
Yers has pulled up lame.
I know you two don't get along,
But she'll work just the same."

I swung up and headed out,
She gave a jump or two.
"Don't pull her head
around like that.
No wonder she don't like you."

"Keep yer feet out of her ribs,
And yer weight up off her back.
Ease up on the bit some,
And give her a little slack."

"There's twenty or thirty cows
I want to turn back
out on grass.
I'll run the bunch on past you.
Don't let the heifers past."

He stampedes the herd
right at me.
Their eyes all rimmed in white.
You already know
what happened.
I didn't get it right.

"Let's try it one more time,"
he mutters.
His growl had an ominous ring.
"Let's start with the spotted face one.
I doctored a year a go this spring."

"Not the brockel face, the one
with the spots between her ears.
The way you handle that mare
Could bring a man to tears."

"I just can't understand it,
Why, she's plain to see.
It's the fifth one from the middle.
The one there lookin' at me."

I didn't have the faintest clue
Which critter in the bunch.
But I can tell you, Pardner,
It wasn't cattle I wanted to punch.

All day long we sorted cows.
Not one thing did I do right.
I began to ponder how
One man came to be so bright.

"If I'd done it myself," he said,
"I'd been done hours ago.
There's only one more left.
Why don't you just go."

I took it all quite well.
I didn't scream or shout.
I simply kicked open the gate
And let the whole herd out.
 

ranchwife

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
my first time moving cows with the hubby went alot like your posting....so did the first time he tried letting me drive the BIG case mx tractor....
"just flip this switch up, this one down, turn this lever this way and this lever that way...all while turning the wheel to the left, but not too sharp or you will run over the rear wheels...got it now, hon?"....the look on his face when he saw my first turn was priceless!!!! :wink: :wink: :wink:
 

SASH

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That's funny. We don't have horses either. Had a calf coming backwards last week and needed to get her up to the yard so I said to the wife 'We gotta get this cow up to the corral'. She says 'Do you want me to drive the truck' and I say yes, thinking she will flank the cow for me. So I hop out to herd the cow on foot and she drives in the other direction back to the yard. Then of course we gotta take the whole herd up and separate the cow out. Took about an extra hour than if she would have just flanked the cow in the first place. I think she needs to listen better, but she says that I don't communicate very well. :roll:
 

SASH

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Maple Leaf Angus said:
Clearly, Sash, she shoulda known without you telling her. Clearly. :)

I was going to tell her that and then decided against it being that I probably wouldn't like the consequences. :)
 

preston

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This thread is going to ge funny before it is over; :lol:

A friend's new wife of 2 years...from the city...loves animals...when he talks about castration...shots..etc she can come up with some of the funniest sincere things/reactions....
such as when castration had been done several were standing around the corral ...bleeding a little.. she came up in the pick up...she knows which vehicle that is now :eek: ...didn't know we had castrated a few...he never tells her...she gets pains I guess...noticed some blood on the ground and wanted to know what happened :??? :shock: ...her hubby said well we have females here...you know how nature is with them monthly....they will be ok. :? she said she was on her way shopping asked if there wern't some type of bandages or something that he was out of.... :???:

Go tell!!!!
 

sw

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Preston,
all I can say is :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

sw

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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:22 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This thread is going to ge funny before it is over;

A friend's new wife of 2 years...from the city...loves animals...when he talks about castration...shots..etc she can come up with some of the funniest sincere things/reactions....
such as when castration had been done several were standing around the corral ...bleeding a little.. she came up in the pick up...she knows which vehicle that is now ...didn't know we had castrated a few...he never tells her...she gets pains I guess...noticed some blood on the ground and wanted to know what happened ?? ...her hubby said well we have females here...you know how nature is with them monthly....they will be ok. she said she was on her way shopping asked if there wern't some type of bandages or something that he was out of....

Go tell!!!!


Now Preston, I have composed myself enough to stop laughing long enough to type. Do you mean to tell me, now when we go to the feed store we are going to be embarrassed as we are when the wifey makes us stop at the store on the way home from the sale "to pick something up for me?" and it has to do with females? I think that my cows have gone "natural" and done well without the bovine Stayfree for years.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I can't wait to see where this goes. :wink:
 

Hanta Yo

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Maple Leaf Angus said:
Clearly, Sash, she shoulda known without you telling her. Clearly. :)
Maple Leaf Angus,

Clearly, all you have to do is TELL us women, and don't look at us like aliens when we give you that puzzled look :???: :( :???:
 

Hanta Yo

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sw said:
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:22 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This thread is going to ge funny before it is over;

A friend's new wife of 2 years...from the city...loves animals...when he talks about castration...shots..etc she can come up with some of the funniest sincere things/reactions....
such as when castration had been done several were standing around the corral ...bleeding a little.. she came up in the pick up...she knows which vehicle that is now ...didn't know we had castrated a few...he never tells her...she gets pains I guess...noticed some blood on the ground and wanted to know what happened ?? ...her hubby said well we have females here...you know how nature is with them monthly....they will be ok. she said she was on her way shopping asked if there wern't some type of bandages or something that he was out of....

Go tell!!!!


Now Preston, I have composed myself enough to stop laughing long enough to type. Do you mean to tell me, now when we go to the feed store we are going to be embarrassed as we are when the wifey makes us stop at the store on the way home from the sale "to pick something up for me?" and it has to do with females? I think that my cows have gone "natural" and done well without the bovine Stayfree for years.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I can't wait to see where this goes. :wink:

I'm sorry, I couldn't help but LMBO!!! Oh, dear.............. :!: :shock: :shock: :D :D
 

Maple Leaf Angus

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Hanta Yo said:
Clearly, all you have to do is TELL us women, and don't look at us like aliens when we give you that puzzled look :???: :( :???:

Maybe this leads to another line we love to hate to hear - "You mean to say that I didn't tell you what I was thinking?"
 

Hanta Yo

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Maple Leaf Angus said:
Hanta Yo said:
Clearly, all you have to do is TELL us women, and don't look at us like aliens when we give you that puzzled look :???: :( :???:

Maybe this leads to another line we love to hate to hear - "You mean to say that I didn't tell you what I was thinking?"

Boy, you got THAT right!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: Unless you're on a roll and just pullin' my leg!! :wink: :wink:
 

Faster horses

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Here we have a running conversation about when I have had to go pull him out of being stuck somewhere. (We now have a FW Assist tractor, so it has been awhile since he has been stuck.)

Back then: He gets the chain hooked on. And then I am in the tractor and he is in whatever is stuck. He waves his arms. Which means any of "Stop. Go. Turn Right. Turn Left. Back Up." If I guessed wrong,(which happened more often than not) there was hell to pay. So after the first chewing I just went to the house and he could do it all by himself. After all, he got it stuck all by himself.

Now it is funny!! But wasn't at the time.

And then working cows one day, horseback.We were sorting and I was trying to tell one of the cowboys what cow I meant. He couldn't seem understand. It was a blue roan heifer. Fustrated I finally yelled, "There! "That one there! The SHORT HORNEY one."

Never have lived that one down. LOL!!LOL!!
 

Hanta Yo

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FFFUUUUNNNNNYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even want to start with my experiences lol. I might get into a little trouble!! :wink: :wink:
 

preston

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SASH said:
That's funny. We don't have horses either. Had a calf coming backwards last week and needed to get her up to the yard so I said to the wife 'We gotta get this cow up to the corral'. She says 'Do you want me to drive the truck' and I say yes, thinking she will flank the cow for me. So I hop out to herd the cow on foot and she drives in the other direction back to the yard. Then of course we gotta take the whole herd up and separate the cow out. Took about an extra hour than if she would have just flanked the cow in the first place. I think she needs to listen better, but she says that I don't communicate very well. :roll:
============
SASH,
Just because our...male machoism.... has convinced us we don't need a map....doesn't mean that other folks don't!!! :???: 8)
 

preston

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Hanta Yo said:
Maple Leaf Angus said:
Clearly, Sash, she shoulda known without you telling her. Clearly. :)
Maple Leaf Angus,

Clearly, all you have to do is TELL us women, and don't look at us like aliens when we give you that puzzled look :???: :( :???:
=============
Hanta Yo,

You Ladies......we love ya..no matter how much guidance .....we need! :???: :shock: :lol:
 

Hanta Yo

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Yeah, love ya guys, too except maybe haymaker. I think by the time we're married 50 years we should be able to figure out what the other intends??? It will be a looonggg time before I'm married 50 years, I sure hope I get it right :oops: :oops: :roll: :roll:
 

Shelly

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You know, there's been many a day where one or the other doesn't quite get what the other one is trying to say or do, but do you ever find you both are thinking the same thing about whatever, or say the exact same thing at the exact same time, or finish each other's sentences? That only tells me one thing. We spend waaayyy too much time together!
 

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