Questions that stumped Dear Abby

[HAY MAKER]

Questions that stumped Dear Abby

Dear Abby:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.
One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a
social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go
everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into
their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be
Lebanese?

Dear Abby:
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and
violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby:
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much
I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby:
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who
has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive,
and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but
I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.


Dear Abby:
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around,
and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied
everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby:
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a
boy who was raised in a Good Christian home turn against
his own?

Dear Abby:
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist
$60 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must
be crazy.

Dear Abby:
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor
a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and
couldn't and he did it.

Dear Abby:
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is
going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby:
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest
in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all
interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

 

[the_jersey_lilly_2000]

Those are the kind of questions that would make her job soooooo worthwhile....makes ya wonder how she answers the good questions with all the tears of laughter in her eyes.

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

Dear Abby
I am visiting south Texas and every time I am in the local bar a old derilect texas hay farmer keeps asking me for french lessons and slapping me on my derriere. How do I discourage the poor man from making indectent proposals that he could no way fulfuill.
signed FRENCH HUSSIE.

 

[HAY MAKER]

BMr went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to big dummie and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Oh no, sez big dummie,I'm a canuckle head and my name isn't Valter."

 

[nr]

A nurse practioner friend said whenever ill people come to the clinic
and ask her, "Could you give me some good antibiotics?" she always replies with a straight-face, "No, we only hand those out on Thursdays. Today we just prescribe the regular antibiotics."

 

[Jinglebob]

BMr went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to big dummie and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Oh no, sez big dummie,I'm a canuckle head and my name isn't Valter."

BOBL!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That just might be the funniest thing I've ever read lon here! Made me laugh out loud! Thanks Haymaker! :lol:

Reminds me of a Spike Van Cleve story.
Back during homestead days, there was an old German immagrint(sp) who prided himself on how well he spoke the american language. One day he was at the store and a Norwiegen came in and asked for some "Yinyer Naps" cookies. The German said, " Hey Ole, vy don't choo zay it da american vay, like I do and say, Chincha Schneps!"