• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

Romance

Help Support Ranchers.net:

katrina

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
8,776
Reaction score
1
Location
East north east of Soapweed
funny :))



In the world of romance, one single rule applies to
the men: Make the woman happy

Do something she likes and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


Here is a guide to the point system:


SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) but return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And its all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)


Now what chance do you have???
 

Radar

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
125
Reaction score
0
What's it take for a guy to transfer his "points account" to her younger sister?
 

katrina

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
8,776
Reaction score
1
Location
East north east of Soapweed
Okay, I'll bite.... 8)
You have positive numbers???? :eek:
In what category???? :roll:
IF you have negitive numbers,why would you want to transfer them to a sister??? I'd want to start from scratch if it were me... :shock:
Girls would this be a good standard for EPD numbers for men. :wink:
 

Jinglebob

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
5,962
Reaction score
0
Location
Western South Dakota
Me and a few others used to rank woman like hats.

1 x not very good but better than none

3 xxx average

6 xxxxxx now were talkin!

10 xxxxxxxxxx perfect (but there are no 10 x's. 9 x is as good as it gets

O, did I mention that this was just about a certain part of women?!

You could walk by a lady and say, "Nice hat!" and she had no idea what you were talking about. But took it as a compliment and you didn't get slapped! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Les

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
784
Reaction score
0
Location
Alberta
So why is it you can have 1 million points built up and one night out with the boys and you lose em all? hardly seems fair to me.maybe the million points i thought i had was actually only 2 points in her tally book. And why dont we get to give women points?? huh? huh???
 

Les

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
784
Reaction score
0
Location
Alberta
oh one more thing WHY OH WHY is it every 28 days we have to start over from zero no matter how good we were?? :p
 

Mike

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
28,482
Reaction score
0
Location
Montgomery, Al
Les said:
oh one more thing WHY OH WHY is it every 28 days we have to start over from zero no matter how good we were?? :p

Because "Romantic Computational Equations" that are modeled by women defy all known mathematical theorums and rules.

28 days is the cycle of the moon right? I think I see a correlation.


:wink:
 

Latest posts

Top