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Sorry, GOD IS BUSY

O

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
Joined
May 24, 2005
Messages
3,443
Location
The Dam End of Silicon Valley
GOD Is Busy

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!
A United States Marine was attending some college
Courses between assignments. He had completed missions
In Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor
Who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, GOD if you are real
Then I want you to knock me off this platform.. I'll give you exactly
15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am
GOD, I'm still waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
Out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
Knocking him off the platform.. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
Looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
Noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What
In the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?'
The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting
American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid
Stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me.'

The classroom erupted in cheers!

THIS IS GOOD, KEEP IT GOING
AMEN!!
 
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple. 'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!'
 

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