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Teachers Job Description

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Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2005
Reaction score
Big Muddy valley
Teacher Job Description

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said:

"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to
go into that room with all those kids, and fill their
every waking moment with a love for learning.
And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in
their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior,
observe them for signs of abuse and even censor
their t-shirt messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and
sexually transmitted diseases, check their
backpacks for weapons of mass destruction,
and raise their self-esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good
citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to
register to vote, how to balance a check-book,
and how to apply for a job. I am to check their
heads for lice, maintain a safe environment,
recognize signs of anti-social behavior, offer
advice, write letters of recommendation for
student employment and scholarships,
encourage respect for the cultural diversity of
others, and oh, make sure that I give the girls in
my class fifty percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own
time after school, evenings and weekends
grading papers.

Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my
own expense working toward advance
certification and a Masters degree. And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life,
such that my very presence will awe my students
into being obedient and respectful of authority.

You want me to incorporate technology into the
learning experience, monitor web sites, and relate
personally with each student. That includes
deciding who might be potentially dangerous
and/or liable to commit a crime in school. I am
to make sure all students pass the mandatory
state exams, even those who don't come to
school regularly or complete any of their

Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students
with handicaps get an equal education regardless
of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.
And I am to communicate regularly with the
parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and
report card.

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a
computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies
my family for food stamps!

You want me to do all of this and yet you expect
me...... NOT TO PRAY?"
Very good one!!! I'll be showing this to my daughter-in-law.... a new teacher with first position on a hutterite colony.
As long as teachers give tests there will be prayers in schools.

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