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The Ban on Blazing Saddles

Mountain Cowgirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
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Releasing natural gas into the atmosphere is now a crime. However, don't be alarmed because I am here to share my wisdom. First, we must understand the root of the problem, blazing saddles! That is right, the cowboys are to blame.

You see those cowboys had the opportunity to release said gas before mounting to ride. They could have stayed longer sitting on a hay bale and releasing said gas into that bale that works as a filter. The gas is neutralized and actually helps preserve the hay.

However, cowboys choose to wait until they are in the saddle of polished thick dense leather and then let one rip just as they lean forward in a home stretch barrel racing position, even though their horse hasn't moved yet. This is called breaking the barrier. It creates a resounding noise that can be heard clear to Liberalville, USA. This must stop!

Remember there is sound and smell, so to stay out of the scope of the new law, we must be double aware when we feel gas building inside. With the war on beef and staggering high prices at the butcher shop, thus forcing us into eating beans, this problem will only get worse.

I hate to say it folks, but the time is coming for a butt mask. A four-layer cotton diaper with a carbon filter will be required under your jeans for riding or sitting on a leather chair or sofa. I am sure glad that my furniture is actually fabric and only looks leather. If I was still riding, I would ride unsaddled. I hesitate to say bareback because some get the wrong idea.

I am still amazed that plains Indians didn't go extinct. While they bear no burden for blazing saddles since they rode bareback, they however are responsible for stampeding 1000 or more bison, on multiple occasions, and riding close to them while they were belching and farting. How did those brave riders survive the methane cloud that was created?

It also amazes me that the bison survived running from a lightening caused wildfire. I mean with flames on their tail and all that gas, there should have been an explosion that was heard around the world.
 
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