Well it finally happened, we had an occurance today that makes me question the safety of my son at public school. I am not an alarmist type of parent but this one has put me over the edge. A teacher was stabbed today and hurt quite badly by an autistic child. He is known for his violent outbursts but they have always been controllable. Having been raised with a group of foster children with various handicaps, I am pretty comfortable with Braxton being around children of all types. I am not comfortable with him being in the same room with a child who could really hurt him. Now his parents fought really hard for this child to be integrated and I figure more power to em. However it is my job to protect MY son. Now before you figure I have gone off the deep end this is just the straw that broke the camels back. There are teachers in his school (and almost every school here in BC) that are known predetors, A child was abducted from his school ground in Sept. (fortunately she was returned unharmed) and his Principle plays for the other team. So I have a few issues in general and feel that perhaps it would be in the best interest of my son to school him at home. There are dozens of programs for him so the social aspect is a non-issue. Am I just PMSing here?
The choice to homeschool...a vent. and long
- Thread starter Judith
- Start date
peg4x4
Well-known member
Talk to the kid and see what his thoughts are..Don't jurk him away from his friends cause you feel threatened....Do keep on top of the situation,go to meetings ,so forth....IT's a hard call,glad I don't have anybody that age.
Brax has always been very antisocial. He doesnt have anyone that he hangs out with at school and he has been begging me to homeschool since grade 1. I think he would be thrilled. His personality is the polar opposite of mine. He is quiet, shy and unusually reserved for a boy his age. I've never had an ounce of trouble with him and get constant compliments about how well behaved he is. He has opened up alot this year and is starting to get a cheeky streak like his mom. He makes me laugh with how "old" his comments are. My mom is always calling him "her grandpa grandbaby". He is an old soul. He would be thrilled to be homeschooled but I always have been concerned about the social end of things. I talked to a bunch of moms who homeschool and they just make sure their children are in a bunch of activities. Seems to make up for it
Home schooling was something I never considered with our three and didn't know any parents who home schooled. I think I needed the break from them! Now it is very common in our area and I have to hand it to the parents who take on that large and unending responsibility. There is a lot of preparation that goes with it so part of the question is can you find the time and energy to do it and do it well?
If your son likes the idea it sounds like part of the battle is over.
I've read that well-home schooled children excell scholastically. How they handle highschool science is a mystery when it comes to all the equipment.? One woman I just met home schools her children and she just gave birth to a set of twins. That should be an interesting challenge. Her other children seem very mature.
It used to concern me about the social aspect but if you can schedule outings with other children on a regular basis where they can really bond plus enjoy each other that sounds workable.
Some moms here split the course work and there is one woman at our church who hires out as a home schooler in certain subjects.
One thing is certain, home schooled children can cover much more material in a shorter time plus they don't lose a chunk of the day commuting which seems healthier. Best regards to you, Judith, in your adventure.
If your son likes the idea it sounds like part of the battle is over.
I've read that well-home schooled children excell scholastically. How they handle highschool science is a mystery when it comes to all the equipment.? One woman I just met home schools her children and she just gave birth to a set of twins. That should be an interesting challenge. Her other children seem very mature.
It used to concern me about the social aspect but if you can schedule outings with other children on a regular basis where they can really bond plus enjoy each other that sounds workable.
Some moms here split the course work and there is one woman at our church who hires out as a home schooler in certain subjects.
One thing is certain, home schooled children can cover much more material in a shorter time plus they don't lose a chunk of the day commuting which seems healthier. Best regards to you, Judith, in your adventure.
Red Robin
Well-known member
Peg don't take this personal but I think it's our job to raise our kids , not their own job. I think it puts too much pressure on a kid to make these hard decisions and I think parents are better equipped to make the right decision with our maturity and experiences. Judith , make the decision that is best for your kid , what ever that is. I personally wouldn't want my kid influenced by a homosexual that is in a position of intellectual and physical superiority. I certainly would want my kid protected physically from violence while at school but that can probably be worked out. Each person has to make their own decision on issues like this based on what they are comfortable with.peg4x4 said:
peg4x4
Well-known member
If they had had homeschooling when I was in Highschool, I'd have gone for it.I cannot tell you how awful Highschool was.I never fit in,no matter how stupid,like the other girls I tried to act.However,my mom was SURE she could never do anything right,My dad didn't want us kids to think we were "better" than anyone else(don't exel in anything) and for some insane reason told mom that we were never to be prased for anything we did right...Just now learning how smart/dumb I am....When I read Jane Goodalls book,the first chapter I cryed,and wailed..Everything she did and was praised for and was told "Find out more",I did and was told"Girls don't need to know those things" Well didn't mean to run off.... Ummm,still don't think the ol' cause I said so will cut it anymore
Red Robin
Well-known member
I'd agree with that. We have to be adept at communicating where we can relate the positive aspects of the decisions we make and get our kids on our side. It's not hard. They want to like their parents anyway.peg4x4 said:
IL Rancher
Well-known member
My wife and I have been talking about this a lot recently when it comes to our 3.5 year old daughter. Stilll don't know what decision in the end we will make but the school systems around here leave a lot to be desired IMO. Priorities are just all wrong although I imagine that they are that way everywhere now. I do worry about making sure my kids are exposed to kids their own age becauise I want them to have friends and the like, luckily there is a homeschool program in every town around here that meets once a week or so and they do things like fieldtrips and plays and the like so the kids get some good exposure to people in a controlled area. That being said I question my ability to do it at times, patience is not always one of my strong suits but I have talked to a few people who were home schooled, including through HS, and a few parents who are doing it and mostly they are so reasuring. Lots of kids are doing it and I will admit that the best behaved kids I have seen have been homeschooled ones.. Are they "normal"? nope, but sometimes normal isn't something to strive for..
So much to think about and to decide on... Good luck Judith with whateveer decision you go with..
(My wife finished HS in a homeschool program through the University of Nebraska-Lincoln) Any really difficult science programs could be handled through local community colleges or tutors. I imagine the only thing that would have been hard for my science classes 15 years ago would have been the chemical reactions and even that might be more doable than we think.
So much to think about and to decide on... Good luck Judith with whateveer decision you go with..
(My wife finished HS in a homeschool program through the University of Nebraska-Lincoln) Any really difficult science programs could be handled through local community colleges or tutors. I imagine the only thing that would have been hard for my science classes 15 years ago would have been the chemical reactions and even that might be more doable than we think.
ranchwife
Well-known member
Judith----I can honestly say that I feel your pain....for many, many reasons I now wish I had homeschooled my oldest child.....he was bullied and beaten down by students and staff (many in administration positions) because he did not fit the mold of "super jock"...he is way more redneck than jock and his high school years were pure HELL!!! 
When I think back on all the times he came home with tears in his eyes and begged me to homeschool him...my answer???? "I am not qualified to teach you, son...so, toughen up and you will be okay!!"...Lord, how I eat those words now!! Many in our community home-school and the kids adjust to "society" just fine...they join with other homeschooled kids and do lots of fun things...field trips....go to the museum and parks and join groups in the off-season for baseball, soccer, swimming, etc!!! Yes, homeschool is a tough choice and NOT for everyone, but if your boy is that miserable, then it is a decision to be taken very seriously!!! Know that you and your family are in my prayers and keep me posted!! I wish you the very best of luck!! :wink:
When I think back on all the times he came home with tears in his eyes and begged me to homeschool him...my answer???? "I am not qualified to teach you, son...so, toughen up and you will be okay!!"...Lord, how I eat those words now!! Many in our community home-school and the kids adjust to "society" just fine...they join with other homeschooled kids and do lots of fun things...field trips....go to the museum and parks and join groups in the off-season for baseball, soccer, swimming, etc!!! Yes, homeschool is a tough choice and NOT for everyone, but if your boy is that miserable, then it is a decision to be taken very seriously!!! Know that you and your family are in my prayers and keep me posted!! I wish you the very best of luck!! :wink:ranchwife, don't beat yourself up about it. You did the best you could! Don't ever forget that. I am very fortunate. I work for myself with the counselling and horses, so I am in the position to homeschool. Not everyone has this luxury! I ran the issue past his Dad tonight and he said over his dead body! I have to say I was rather shocked. So if you could keep our little family in your prayers, I would be very greatful! You never know what might happen if he sleeps on it.
Reader 2 thanks for the words! I get really mixed advice on dealing with Braxton's personality type. One group says make sure he is around dozens of kids, this should desensitize him. The other group says it will just make it harder for him. Like your son, he is also very sensitive and super smart. He really doesnt get kids at all. But when you are raised as an only child, with adults, kids would seem really weird! I have taken him to work with me since he was a week old, plain and simple he relates to adults. He often says "he can't believe how unkind children are to their parents". Being naughty or disrespectful horrifies him. He always says why would you behave in that manner when you love someone. I can never find him when I visit my grandma in her retirement home, he is always off yapping it up with the seniors. I have never seen him even speak to a classmate. I always have to remind him to say hello when one of them says hello first! (That drives me bonkers!!!!) I just hope that Roland can be a bit more open minded. I am thrilled that so many others on the forum also are homeschoolers! Thank you to everyone who has PMed with there experiences, I truely appreciate it!
Maple Leaf Angus
Well-known member
Well, Judith, we homeschooled all 4 of our kids and we all survived. Well, I need to say that my wife did the teaching. And that may be why they survived!
Our oldest 3 are graduated from Grade 12 and the oldest 2 have done the GED exams and passed with flying colours! Their marks were in the extremely high percentile, like in the 90's, so good academic acheivement is certainly possible. They are now pursuing careers in electrical work and nursing.
Oh yeah, the big question about socialization!!! It sounds like your son is already accustomed to socializing on a vertical level rather than horizontal form if he gets along better with adults. What's wrong with that?
Over the years, when people would voice their concerns to me about our children's socialization, I would ask them if they were satisfied with the form of socialization their children were participating in at the public schools. I don't think that anyone ever said that they were happy with it!
I thought that was kinda funny and enjoyed watching the light come on in their eyes when they understood my point.
Our kids are quite at home with those of their respective ages as well as any older adults. By far, most of the home schooled kids that I have seen are well adjusted and very capable of leadership positions because of their solid maturity.
There is a wide range of cirricullum (sp?) that offers a choice of close instructor guidance to almost complete independence for the student. I'm sure that you will find plenty of supportive people and excellent resources should you decide to go that route.
By the way, the hippie homeschooler image is dead. So don't go thinking it's a way to legitimize a patch of weed, Judith! :wink:
Our oldest 3 are graduated from Grade 12 and the oldest 2 have done the GED exams and passed with flying colours! Their marks were in the extremely high percentile, like in the 90's, so good academic acheivement is certainly possible. They are now pursuing careers in electrical work and nursing.
Oh yeah, the big question about socialization!!! It sounds like your son is already accustomed to socializing on a vertical level rather than horizontal form if he gets along better with adults. What's wrong with that?
Over the years, when people would voice their concerns to me about our children's socialization, I would ask them if they were satisfied with the form of socialization their children were participating in at the public schools. I don't think that anyone ever said that they were happy with it!
I thought that was kinda funny and enjoyed watching the light come on in their eyes when they understood my point.
Our kids are quite at home with those of their respective ages as well as any older adults. By far, most of the home schooled kids that I have seen are well adjusted and very capable of leadership positions because of their solid maturity.
There is a wide range of cirricullum (sp?) that offers a choice of close instructor guidance to almost complete independence for the student. I'm sure that you will find plenty of supportive people and excellent resources should you decide to go that route.
By the way, the hippie homeschooler image is dead. So don't go thinking it's a way to legitimize a patch of weed, Judith! :wink:
Reader writes ["There are special "ears" we parents develop to listen to a child's needs at various ages. One has to be flexible because one size does not fit all where children are concerned. Each is a special person with unique talents and his/her own set of "issues." ]
:shock: You said more in 3 sentences than the so called experts say in an entire book! Excellent points! :clap: :clap: :clap:
:shock: You said more in 3 sentences than the so called experts say in an entire book! Excellent points! :clap: :clap: :clap:
reader (the Second) said:
That's a good point: one size does not fit all where children are concerned and that the issues and needs change with various ages. Some parents here homeschool part of the time then switch to public school/private school depending on what each child needs. We put our middle child in private school for a few years in middle school. She wanted to go back to highschool later so made the switch back. Lots of weighing pros and cons. You've gotta earn some grey hairs like the rest of us, Judith :wink: :twisted:
Hanta Yo
Well-known member
When MCG was 3, she begged to go to school with her older sibs. So I said we would homeschool. She loved it, was reading and writing by 4, and continued until 1st grade. She was a sponge and I gave her all she could take. It was sad letting her go to school for 1st grade, but I thought she would pick up on some social skills since there are no kids out here her age. She's done well academically (99th percentile for her grade) and has gotten along well socially. The school is well above average for the US for # kids graduating, going to college, etc etc. If I see signs of deterioration in the school or in my daughter, back to home schooling. We also have a pretty good relationship and she does clue me into some things that go on at school.
There are also known predators in the town, one lived right across the street from the grade school. HOWEVER everyone in town knew this (along with the grade school kids) and apparently he doesn't live there anymore. I guess alot of it has to do with the size of the town and everyone watching out for each other which is true in this town.
It's up to you what you want to do as a parent because you are responsible for your child, and don't forget that you are his PARENT :!: :!:
IMHO
There are also known predators in the town, one lived right across the street from the grade school. HOWEVER everyone in town knew this (along with the grade school kids) and apparently he doesn't live there anymore. I guess alot of it has to do with the size of the town and everyone watching out for each other which is true in this town.
It's up to you what you want to do as a parent because you are responsible for your child, and don't forget that you are his PARENT :!: :!:
IMHO
