Things that are hard to say when you are drunk

[Mike]

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

 

[Juan]

Mike..........I learned all these things but it took me much to long!

 

[TimH]

I'm sure those are all absolutely hilarious, Mike. But I can't be sure because I have never touched a drop of alchohol, in my life,let alone ever been drunk. :wink:

 

[Haytrucker]

If you know not; question not.
Extremely hilarious commentary:: and I have been there.

 

[cowsense]

Been there but lost the T-shirt on the trip home!

 

[Murgen]

I found your t-shirt, but when I told the bouncer it was yours, he wasn't willing to take it off and give it back. that's when I used

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

and then.....

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

 

[DOC HARRIS]

I found your t-shirt, but when I told the bouncer it was yours, he wasn't willing to take it off and give it back. that's when I used

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

and then.....

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

-a-ha-ha-hah-hah-HAH-ha ha-a-a gasp- whew-hahaha - when I can stop laughing -a- ha - ha I - will - try to type another couple of tang toung - I mean - - ha ha - tongue twisters - - gasp - wheeze - wheeze!! :lol2:

Oka-a-y - here they are:

You say these three times - one after the other!
#1)
The skunk sat on the stump.
The stump thunk the skunk stunk
and the skunk thunk the stump stunk.
(Repeat two more times - as fast as you can)

#2)
Betty Badder bought some butter
but, she said, 'This butter's bitter
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter
Will make my batter better!"
So she bought a bit of better butter,
Put it in her batter, And made her batter better.
So it was better that Better Badder bought a bit of Better Butter

Three times with NO mistakes. One shot ONLY of Tequilla helps!

DOC HARRIS

 

[Hanta Yo]

I found your t-shirt, but when I told the bouncer it was yours, he wasn't willing to take it off and give it back. that's when I used

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

and then.....

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

-a-ha-ha-hah-hah-HAH-ha ha-a-a gasp- whew-hahaha - when I can stop laughing -a- ha - ha I - will - try to type another couple of tang toung - I mean - - ha ha - tongue twisters - - gasp - wheeze - wheeze!! :lol2:

Oka-a-y - here they are:

You say these three times - one after the other!
#1)
The skunk sat on the stump.
The stump thunk the skunk stunk
and the skunk thunk the stump stunk.
(Repeat two more times - as fast as you can)

#2)
Betty Badder bought some butter
but, she said, 'This butter's bitter
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter
Will make my batter better!"
So she bought a bit of better butter,
Put it in her batter, And made her batter better.
So it was better that Better Badder bought a bit of Better Butter

Three times with NO mistakes. One shot ONLY of Tequilla helps!

DOC HARRIS

Here's another

Silly Sally sits and shells her peas.
All day long she sits and shells and shells and sits and sits and shells and shells and sits.
Whoooeee, I think I have a bad mouth

 

[Denny]

Three times with NO mistakes. One shot ONLY of Tequilla helps!

DOC HARRIS[/quote]


Does the Tequilla help your hearing or your speech??

 

[Juan]

I slit a sheet a sheet I slit on the sheet I slit I sit!
A very simple one that is hard to say three times without a goof.....toy boat.




i

 

[DOC HARRIS]

Three times with NO mistakes. One shot ONLY of Tequilla helps!

DOC HARRIS

Does the Tequilla help your hearing or your speech??[/quote]The Tequilla enhances the neurological impulses of the First, Seventh, Ninth, and Tenth Cranial Nerves. If Tequilla is involved - one musshd be sheated zo asdh to not begum cumfuzzed by a - a the - - hmmmm I forgot.. .

D PC HAERERSA

 

[the_jersey_lilly_2000]

DOC,
Step away from the bottle....slowly

 

[passin thru]

The only shot I would have at saying these would be if I was DRUNK :lol:

 

[cert]

Wouldn't you just like to shake DOC's hand and see the expressions on his face while he is talking???

Bet he is the life of the party. I laugh more reading his posts than I do at Larry the Cable guy.

 

[greg]

I agree cert,Doc gives me many a chuckle,even when his ramblings con me :???: fuse

 

[greg]

confuse me :???:

 

[ranchwife]

as usual, doc....you had me in stitches!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
thanks for the much needed laugh after my 7th straight 13 hour shift!! (hint to how my day went.....stupid people should not be allowed to ride double on motorcycles)

 

[DOC HARRIS]

as usual, doc....you had me in stitches!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
thanks for the much needed laugh after my 7th straight 13 hour shift!! (hint to how my day went.....stupid people should not be allowed to ride double on motorcycles)

. . . .and - - -undoubtedly - no boots, gloves or leather!? :shock: :? :???:

DOC HARRIS

 

[Anonymous]

as usual, doc....you had me in stitches!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
thanks for the much needed laugh after my 7th straight 13 hour shift!! (hint to how my day went.....stupid people should not be allowed to ride double on motorcycles)

You sound like my wife- she just spent a weekend of call almost living at the hospital....Don't know what all happened, but she was cussing 4 wheel ATV's and hunters every time she stumbled back into bed in the wee hours of the morning....