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venting again...

A

Angus Cattle Shower

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Joined
Feb 25, 2005
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Location
CANADA!!!
Well, as some of you may have noticed, I left for the weekend to go hunting with a close friend... because I've been working my tail off since July, spent my summer baling, feeding cows, and making fence, and my spare time cleaning moldy grain out of bins, helping move grain, combine, and fix whatever they break in the field, while I babysit and cook for the men... unless Gramma does. So dad gave me a day and a half off, so I went hunting. When I came back today, I went out about catching my work up, made supper, and took it out to the field. I sent the men into the truck to eat, and I drove combine. Grandpa said to me when i walked in, "go no more than 3.1" so I was going 2.7 the whole time. When I was unloading the hopper into the semi, he walked up and went, :You're ghoing too f*cking fast. I said no more than 3.1 you idiot." I said quietly, "but I only went 2.7 the whole time." "Bull $hit. Youre a god dam*ed liar. You should have stayed away from here and we wouldn't have to put up with you sitting on your lazy a$$ all day while we work." I noticed that dad walked up behind him, so I said, "Grandpa, I spent my summer baling, gave up going out with friend's and I skipped the family truip to the lake cause someone had to bale. I fed the cows fon my own for the last 2 years, I clean the bins so we can put grain in there, fix whatever you guys break, made fence, cooked for you guys and babysat the other two when they were here, so would you like to tell me where I had time to sit and watch TV all day?" After that there were a bunch of curses directed towards me while I held my head up high and kept a stiff upperlip, Dad tapped grandpa on the shoulder and said that all that I said was true, and that I was trying to pick up the slack that everyone else was leaving, trying to be just like the older guys, get some respect for the work I do, keep excellent grades, and try to spend time with dad, but he's too buys to do anything but occasionally clean a bin with me, and that I was definately following directions. After that, there was more cussing and I was told to get the h*ll out of his sight, and leave everyone on the farm alone. So I walked home (2 miles) bawled cause the only thing that I have ever tried to do was earn his respect, and cause he insulted me that bad that it was like salt on a wound, and here I am. Idont know if anyone said anything to him, but now I don't really give a rat's butt, cayuse what's been said has been said, and what has been done has been done. My two friend's father's died (one on thursday and one today)so I'm really upset, and I found out that my girlfriend was using me to get back at her ex. One of her friends told me, so I looked into it and sure as heck she was so Im even more upset. Dad told me I should stay in the house till the machinerey is out of the yard then mabye he cal talk to me about it... Ive been getting pushed around in the hallways of school, pushed back, beed ridiculed cause I am a farm boy, and proud of it, have 2 mad teachers... one because i wont play football for him and the other one cause i kill helpless animals, and I have 3 good friends left because of rumors, 2 of their father's died, so I won't see either of those two for a while, and the third is kept busy with his girlfriend So I'm back to square one.... I hate putting up with this stuff, and I hate it when all you do is be nioce to your own grandpa and get yelled and cussed at. :cry:

Please help cause I dont know what to do with myself anymore. :cry: :cry:

Have a good evening
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles :cry: Especially about your grandpa. I don't know what to tell you, hopefully your dad will continue to take your side. I was just going to do a post to you to see how school was going...I guess not great. Just hang in there and feel free to vent to us!
 
You're having a tough go there, kiddo. I can sympathize with you on some of the stuff you're dealing with. Been there, done that, so to speak. The being yelled at and under-appreciated is the worst. Venting does help. I know. Keep your chin up, it'll all work out in the end. Usually always does.
 
ACS

I went thru a lot of that with my Dad when I was about your age. Although we had an agreement for my brother and I to buy the ranch, I got up and left. Went to the university, graduated and worked all over the world.

Dad finally stopped the yelling and he died when I was 29. I still have a lot of mixed feelings when I think of him.

But, I resolved to bring my kids up better and rarely ever yelled at them. I wouldn't think of talking to any of my six grandkids like you were.

Your Grandpa will someday realize he was wrong (I have seen a couple that never did.) He may wonder why you don't come and see him when he is on his death bed.

Just resolve not to pass that behavior on to you kids.
 
Kido,I'm not making excuses for your Grampa,he WAS wrong talking to you like that hands down....but it is Harvest,and bad weathers threatening,nerves are getting frazeled,thats probably all it was about,hopefully hes man enough to say hes sorry...but don't count on it.
And your dads a good guy,and you know hes behind you,remember that :)
 
Life sure isn't fair, ACS. I'm really sorry you are having to learn that
at such a young age. Grampa was just plain wrong. I don't understand
why he would talk like that to someone he loves. I'm so sorry that
he hurt you deeply. I hope your dad had some kind words for you when
he got to the house. And he needs to have a talk with grampa.

You are too good of a kid to let this get you down. Hang in there
for your own self. Things like this can change a person and we don't want
it to change you.

I hope you have a much better day today. And I hope you took a good
rest, that is one good thing that came out of this.

Oh, and one more thing, sometimes when kids are good-sized, people
just expect more out of them. Perhaps that is what happened to your
grampa. He forgot that you are just a kid. If I were there, I'd tell him
he needs to apologize to you and never do that again.
 
Faster Horses, you said a lot of good things. But from experience, any G-Pa that talks to his grandson that way will never change because the G-Pa is so self centered and really a baby butt coward. Many times an abuser is really a cowardly blank, blank. When the G-Pa gets old he sits in his chair and wonders why his grandchildren won't visit him. Even if you tell him he still is so ornery he'd never apologize. I wish there was something to say to ease the pain but I'm afraid you will remember this confrontation for the rest of your life. Hopefully the pain will ease in time.
 
How old are ya bud? Im 17,and i have been homeschooled since 8th grade because of other "kids",basically if i was pushed,i pushed back...hard.Im not saying thats the thing to do,because believe me i have taken my fair share of real ash whippins....kids are kids man,what can you do? Girls are girls,let me tell you somethin,its ALL attitude.100% Even though homeschooled i am VERY social,and big hat,spurs jingling,muddy truck,wore out trailer,ugly horses and all,for the most part im one of the most well known guys around here.Why? Because i dont care what people say about me or try to do to me,i stand up for myself and they know that if they whip me today,ill be back tomorrow with help.Im telling you the key to being welcomed,or popular is respect , attitude and maturity .You can trust me on this,im not good lookin,but i can talk myself into any group of people,and i am aquainted with some pretty random groups of folks...Why?Confidence,and knowing when to shut up and when to speak.As far as your girl,confront her about it,NEVER rely on gossip.If she really is doing that,drop her like a hot rock,what helps me deal with girls is the knowledge that in all likelyhood there will be a ton more after her,and im probly not going to marry her.So dont get all worked up over a girl,easier said than done i know...treat them right but be carefull....


And oh boy,have i ever had words thrown at me.There was a fella i worked for for awhile that in all honesty is one of the few people that i could really care less about if they were on fire...Everything was demanded,with a cuss word,and if i made a mistake or wasnt doing something exactly how he wanted it,whether i knew better or not,i was told how sorry and counterfeit i was.And how i was the stupidest SOB he has ever seen.As far as i know he still slanders my name and drags it through the mud.Honestly i reckon i was just a "whipping boy" for him,one day i asked him flat out "well what do you want me to do,show me explain it to me or somethin,because honestly i have no idea what you want" He just stood stock still,then turned on his heels and walked off...That was the last day i lifted a finger for that person.Bud,keep your head high,your chest out,and just roll with the punches,if your grandfather acts that way,take him to the side and tell him flat out,if you dont want me around,then ill gladly go.And if he gets all mad,keep your composure,let your father know,and see what he says.If he's going to holler and scream at you,let him,you keep a stiff upper lip and look him straight in the eye,and dont talk back.He'll only make himself look like a fool for hollerin at a young guy that dosent know any better and is just offering a hand.
Kindve like someone that will sit atop a colt and beat him into the ground for somethin he dosent know he did wrong.

I dont have all the answers,hell i dont have any,and im sure many people will disagree with me.But i know how it feels to be in your shoes,ive been there,just remember to stay humble,treat people how you want to be treated,and keep on plowin through the drama.

Good luck,and ill be praying for ya.
Colt Lacina
 
ACS, would like to run something by you. Is that the type of behavior that you would expect from you grandfather, or is it totally out of character? He may have some mental issues going on and needs to see a professional. Some older people just get mean as the brain starts to deteriorate with age, maybe someone else could elaborate a little better.
 
Usually grandpa is a little bit grouchy, but this is unusual. Dad came iunto the house at 11 ang got me out of bed... grandpa went home and they were short a hand so I made a pot or two ofcoffee.... mmmm... and combined all night long... till the bus came in the morning. I was in Dad's combine so noone could say anything, and I was yappin to lil kp and ye ole semi on the CB. lol. Got a whole 1/4 off last nite.

Thanks FH.

Grandpa has been oscar the grouch for a while now. talk to him about fishing, hunting, or his band and he's in a good mood.

ropes, im 14. I get pushed around a fair bit, and i tend to push back harder. One of my buddies got into aa scrap today, it was getting one sided (someone called his girlfriend, and one of my best friends a few baad names that cant be said on here) so he stepped out and I stepped in... Hopefully he got it thru his thick skull that you don't ever say that to a woman.

I talked to her today, and talked to her sister, and yeah that was what she was doing... sad to say though, cause she was a good person... and h-o-t-t hot too. lol.

Treat thy neighbour as thy brother even though thou may not agreeth with thy neighbour.... I made that up, but its what I live by.

I think he was just ticked off today.... usually doesnt snap like that.

Later
 

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