"Lonesome Dove" memorable quotes :wink:
Gus McCrae: A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough.
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Gus McCrae: It's not dying I'm talking about, it's living.
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[after giving Newt a gun]
Woodrow Call: Better to have it and not need it than it is to need it and not have it.
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Woodrow Call: [after handing the gun to Newt] It is better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it.
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Woodrow Call: [looks over at Newt after Clara gives Newt the horse] Women!
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Woodrow Call: [Woodrow walking towards Gus] I 'spect you been sittin' up all night reading the good book.
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Janey: [to Joe] You ever ate a frog?
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[Gus refuses to have his leg amputated knowing he will die if he doesn't]
Woodrow Call: What do you want legs for anyway? You don't like to do nothing but sit on the porch and drink whiskey!
Gus McCrae: I like to kick a pig every once in a while. How would I do that?
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Woodrow Call: I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it.
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Gus McCrae: Here's to the sunny slopes of long ago.
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[referring to the Hat Creek Cattle Company sign]
Woodrow Call: ...and if that ain't bad enough you got all them Greek words on there, too.
Gus McCrae: I told you, Woodrow, a long time ago it ain't Greek, it's Latin.
Woodrow Call: Well what does it say in Latin?
[Gus blusters some gibberish]
Woodrow Call: For all you know it invites people to rob us.
Gus McCrae: Well the first man comes along that can read Latin is welcome to rob us, far as I'm concerned. I'd like a chance t' shoot at a educated man once in my life.
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Woodrow Call: You ever get tired o' loafin' I reckon you can get a job waitin' on tables.
Gus McCrae: Oh, I had a job waitin' tables once. S' on a riverboat. I wasn't no older than Newt, there, but I hadda give it up.
Newt: How come?
Gus McCrae: Well I was, too young and pretty and the whores wouldn't let me alone.
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Woodrow Call: Gus.
Gus McCrae: What?
Woodrow Call: Why not go up to Montana? It's a cattleman's paradise to hear Jake tell it.
Gus McCrae: Sounds like a damn wilderness if you ask me. And we're a shade old to start fightin' Indians all over again, don't you think?
Woodrow Call: I mean it, Gus. Why not, go north with a herd?
Gus McCrae: I'll tell you what. You ride on up there, clear out the Iindians, build a little cabin, get a nice fire goin' in the fireplace and me and Jake will gather a herd and then we'll come on up.
Woodrow Call: I'd like to see the herd that you and Jake could gather. Herd o' whores, maybe.
Gus McCrae: Well you ain't no more a cattleman than I am, Call, and y'know it, too.
Woodrow Call: I wanna do it, Gus. I wanna see that country, before the bankers and lawyers all git it.
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Gus McCrae: I could kick you for givin' him all them ideas about Montana. Now we're gonna suffer for the rest of our damn lives.
Jake Spoon: Yeah, I forgot how determined he can get, once an idea takes root.
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Clara Allen: Here, Mr. Johnson. Meet your son. (Hands baby to July Johnson, who holds him in his arms.) Well, that's a good sign. I guess you'd at least catch him if somebody threw him off a roof.
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Gus McCrae: I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less.
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Gus McCrae: Well, I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy.
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Pea Eye Parker: What's it read, Gus?
Gus McCrae: It says, "Josh Deets. Served with me 30 years. Fought In 21 engagements with the Comanche and the Kiowa. Cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task. Splendid behavior." That's what it says.
Pea Eye Parker: My lord. Old Deets is gone. My lord.
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Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault we should've shot sooner.
Gus McCrae: I don't want even to begin thinking Woodrow of all the things we should have done for this good man.
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Gus McCrae: You know how it works Jake, you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line.
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Jake Spoon: I didn't see no line Gus. I was just trying to get through the territory without getting scalped, that's all.
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Woodrow Call: We come to this place to make money. They wasn't nothin' about fun in the deal.
Gus McCrae: What are you talkin' about? You don't even like money. You like money even less than you like fun, if that's possible.
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Roy Suggs: What did you find?
Dan Suggs: Nothing but his old watch. Damn sodbusters!
Jake Spoon: You shot those two men for a watch?
Dan Suggs: Shot 'em, now I'm going to hang 'em.
Eddie Suggs: Hang 'em? Dang, you beat all! I've never heard of hanging dead men.
Dan Suggs: Shot 'em, now I'm gonna hang 'em, then I'm gonna burn 'em! Damn sodbusters. Can't ever be too dead to suit me.
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Clara Allen: Sometimes it seems like grave digging is all we do around here, don't it Cholo? What do you think happens when we die?
Cholo: Not much. You are just dead.
Clara Allen: Maybe it's not as big a change as we think. Maybe you just go back to where you lived or near your family, or wherever you were the happiest. Only you're just a spirit now... and you don't have the troubles the living have.
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[while July Johnson helped Gus McCrae attack the bandits' camp, July's friends were murdered by Blue Duck]
July Johnson: It was my fault! Hell, you told me to stay.
Gus McCrae: I know I did, son. And I'm sure you wished you had. But yesterday's gone, we can't get it back. Now you go on with your digging.
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Jake Spoon: Well, hell, boys. I'd damn sight rather be hung by my friends than by a bunch o' damn strangers. Newt... Well, adios, boys. Hope you won't hold it against me. Never meant no harm.
[spurs his horse, hanging himself before Gus does it]
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Joshua Deets: [in the Wyoming Badlands] What we doin' up here, Captain? This ain't our land.
Gus McCrae: Woodrow is determined to be the first man to graze cattle in Montana, even if it kills all of us.
Joshua Deets: Don't seem right, Captain. A man ought not to leave his land and his people.
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Gus McCrae: [at Deet's burial] I think old Deets knew it was his time. He didn't drop that baby or try to give him back or draw his gun. He just stood there and let that Indian stick that lance right through him.
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Blue Duck: [to Gus] You ever bring that tongue of yours north of the Canadian River, I'll cut it off and feed it to my wolf pups.
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Woodrow Call: [Call thinks Gus has died] Augustus.
Gus McCrae: [opens his eyes] By God, Woodrow; it's been one hell of a party.
[dies]
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Gus McCrae: [Old Hugh has found Gus on the trail] How far is it to Miles City?
Hugh Auld: About forty miles in that direction. You ain't gonna make it forty miles on that rotten leg.
Gus McCrae: [begins hobbling off] Believe I'll make a liar out of you.
Hugh Auld: Wait a minute! Here, take my horse. I'll follow along behind. Where are you from anyway?
Gus McCrae: Little fart of a town on the Rio Grande called Lonesome Dove.
Hugh Auld: [laughing] You're a travelin' man, 'Gustus McRae!
Gus McCrae: [looking ruefully at his leg] Was, I'm afraid; was.
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Woodrow Call: Well, Augustus is dead. Died from blood poisonin' from them arrows them Indians shot in him. They cut off one of his legs, but the poison got in the other and he wouldn't let 'em cut it off. Stubborn about it; that's what killed him, bein' stubborn.
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Woodrow Call: [after burying Gus by the stream in Texas] Well, Gus; there you go. I guess this will teach me to be more careful about what I promise people in the future.
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Woodrow Call: Well; good luck in getting back to Texas, Dish.
Jasper Fant: [laughing] He ain't goin' back to Texas. He's goin' to Ogallala to see that whore now that Gus is dead.
Dish Boggett: She ain't no whore! You take that back, Jasper; you take it back or I'll box your ears!
Jasper Fant: [deciding not to fight] Well, I meant she was a whore in her younger years. I don't know what *profession* she follows now.
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Woodrow Call: [to the doctor] We can still take that other leg. Get him drunk and I'll hold him.
Gus McCrae: [pulling his pistol from under the blanket] No, sir; you ain't gettin' my leg. You don't boss me, Woodrow. I'm the only man you don't boss.
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Woodrow Call: [after meeting July] You're that Arkansas sheriff come to Texas after Jake Spoon, ain't you?
July Johnson: Well, that seems like a long time ago. I don't know if I'll ever start back lookin' for him.
Woodrow Call: Just as well; he fell in with a bad bunch and we had to hang him.
[walks off as July looks stunned]
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Blue Duck: [Blue Duck has run into Gus by the river] I know you from the old days, McRae.
Gus McCrae: I know you too, Blue Duck.
Blue Duck: Where's your friend? Where's Call? If I kill you, I'll have to wait here and kill him too.
Gus McCrae: I expect he'll be along after a while. If you can kill me, you can have a seat over in the shade and wait on him.
Blue Duck: No, I ain't got time to waste on killin' some old Ranger with holes in his underwear. There's plenty more need killin'.
[Mounts his horse and rides off]
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Roscoe Brown: [Peach has told Roscoe to go find July] Find July! He's been gone over six days!
Peach Johnson: He's gone to Texas, Roscoe. I reckon you can find Texas!
Roscoe Brown: Of course I can find Texas, Peach. I just don't know if I can find July!
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Woodrow Call: [riding in San Antonio] Things sure have changed since the last time I was here. It's all growed up.
Gus McCrae: Of course it's growed up, Woodrow. He killed all the Indians and bandits so the bankers could move in.
Woodrow Call: Only a fool would want the Indians back.
Gus McCrae: Has it ever occurred to you, Woodrow; that all the work we done was for the bankers? Hell, we killed off everybody made this country interestin'!
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Blue Duck: [Call is looking at Blue Duck in jail] I hear you brought you stinkin' old friend to watch my hangin'.
Woodrow Call: He'd have enjoyed it.
Blue Duck: I should've killed him when I had a chance.
Woodrow Call: I'd have killed you for it.
Blue Duck: [laughing] I stole horses, burned farms, killed men, raped women and stole children all over your territory and until today, you never even got a good look at me! I don't think you would've killed me. Rangers! I 'spect I'll kill a passel of you yet.
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Clara Allen: [referring to Newt] Did you give that boy your name before you left Montana?
Woodrow Call: I gave him my horse.
Clara Allen: [scornfully] But not your name.
Woodrow Call: I value the horse more than my name.
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Clara Allen: I loved Augustus McRae, but I wasn't willing to share him with you every time you decided to ride off on some adventure. I despised you for what you were then, Captain Call; and I despise you for what you're doing!
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Woodrow Call: How do I know you won't start missin' your wife after about five miles and decide to quit?
Po Campo: My wife is in hell; where I sent her.
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Blue Duck: [Blue Duck has shot an Indian that disagreed with him] Life is cheap up here on the Canadian and it's likely to get a lot cheaper. Let's gamble.
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Woodrow Call: [Jake is carrying a drunken Dish across the bridge] Dish, what in the hell has happened to you?
Dish Boggett: Wish I could say, Captain.
Woodrow Call: Why not?
Dish Boggett: 'Cause I can't remember.
Jake Spoon: [Laughing] I found him in back of the saloon, tryin' to see how fast he could drink a bottle of whiskey.
Woodrow Call: Dammit, Dish; I won't have a man with me who can't do his job!
Dish Boggett: [Attempting to straighten up] Don't worry, Captain. I can sit my horse.
[Falls down and starts throwing up]
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Joshua Deets: [Laughing] Done put a gun on you. Reckon you'll be boss of this outfit before too much longer.
Newt: [Going along with the joke] You better hope not, Deets. First thing I'll do is cut your wages for all them times you been joshin' me.
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Gus McCrae: [Call and McRae are about to hang the Suggs brothers] Say goodbye to your brothers; I expect you got them into this.
Dan Suggs: The hell with them! They ain't worth a red piss; and neither are you!
Gus McCrae: I'll say this, Suggs; you're the kind of man it's a pleasure to hang. If all you can talk is guff, you can talk it to the Devil.
[Hits Dan's horse with a quirt causing his and Eddie's horse to bolt]
Roy Suggs: I shoulda been second. Little Eddie was the youngest.
Gus McCrae: I apologize, son; I never meant to scare his horse like that. Well, are you ready?
Roy Suggs: [Shrugs] Yeah, I guess so.
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July Johnson: [Gus walks up on July's bunch in the dark] Who were they shootin' at?
Gus McCrae: They were shootin' at me! This is Captain Augustus McRae, Texas Rangers. Now, don't shoot me; I'm walkin' in.
Gus McCrae: [Shaking hands with July] Augustus McRae. Those were Blue Duck's boys. I've been chasin' him. He stole a woman and I'm tryin to get her back.
July Johnson: July Johnson, I'm sheriff in Fort Smith, Arkansas. This is my deputy Roscoe Brown, this is Joe and Janie.
Gus McCrae: July Johnson! You're that Arkansas sheriff came down lookin' for Jake Spoon. If you're lookin' for Jake, you missed him by about 200 miles.
July Johnson: I'm not looking for Spoon right now. I've got more urgent business in the North.
Gus McCrae: I've got to go after Blue Duck. I expect he's up on the Canadian somewhere. If I could trouble you for the loan of a horse, I'll return it and probably a few more.
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Gus McCrae: [to Jake about his riding with the Suggs] A man that will go along with five killin's is taking his leaving awful slow.
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Gus McCrae: [Coming upon the sodbusters killed by Dan Suggs] I'god, a man could get rich in the grave digging business around here. Pea, you ought to get a long shovel.
Pea Eye Parker: I don't think I'd want to do that.
Woodrow Call: This is a bad bunch we're after.
Newt: Gus, Jake wouldn't have nothin' to do with something like this!
Gus McCrae: Jake's always been easily led.
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Gus McCrae: Is that all you boys can think about; gettin' to Ogallala and spendin' your money on whores?
Jasper Fant: That's all right for you, Gus; you got Lorena with you. What about the rest of us?
Gus McCrae: What's good for me might not be good for the weak minded.
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Newt: Gus, are you sure the Captain is my father?
Gus McCrae: Yep, he is.
Newt: He ain't never mentioned it.
Gus McCrae: Well, Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner.
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Jake Spoon: A man that will talk to a pig ain't no better than a farmer.
Gus McCrae: I expected you to own a bank or at least a whorehouse by now Jake. It seems life has been a disappointment to both of us.
Jake Spoon: That might be so, but by God, I ain't never said a word to a pig.
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Gus McCrae: Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop
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Gus McCrae: A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough.
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Gus McCrae: It's not dying I'm talking about, it's living.
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[after giving Newt a gun]
Woodrow Call: Better to have it and not need it than it is to need it and not have it.
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Woodrow Call: [after handing the gun to Newt] It is better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it.
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Woodrow Call: [looks over at Newt after Clara gives Newt the horse] Women!
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Woodrow Call: [Woodrow walking towards Gus] I 'spect you been sittin' up all night reading the good book.
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Janey: [to Joe] You ever ate a frog?
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[Gus refuses to have his leg amputated knowing he will die if he doesn't]
Woodrow Call: What do you want legs for anyway? You don't like to do nothing but sit on the porch and drink whiskey!
Gus McCrae: I like to kick a pig every once in a while. How would I do that?
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Woodrow Call: I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it.
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Gus McCrae: Here's to the sunny slopes of long ago.
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[referring to the Hat Creek Cattle Company sign]
Woodrow Call: ...and if that ain't bad enough you got all them Greek words on there, too.
Gus McCrae: I told you, Woodrow, a long time ago it ain't Greek, it's Latin.
Woodrow Call: Well what does it say in Latin?
[Gus blusters some gibberish]
Woodrow Call: For all you know it invites people to rob us.
Gus McCrae: Well the first man comes along that can read Latin is welcome to rob us, far as I'm concerned. I'd like a chance t' shoot at a educated man once in my life.
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Woodrow Call: You ever get tired o' loafin' I reckon you can get a job waitin' on tables.
Gus McCrae: Oh, I had a job waitin' tables once. S' on a riverboat. I wasn't no older than Newt, there, but I hadda give it up.
Newt: How come?
Gus McCrae: Well I was, too young and pretty and the whores wouldn't let me alone.
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Woodrow Call: Gus.
Gus McCrae: What?
Woodrow Call: Why not go up to Montana? It's a cattleman's paradise to hear Jake tell it.
Gus McCrae: Sounds like a damn wilderness if you ask me. And we're a shade old to start fightin' Indians all over again, don't you think?
Woodrow Call: I mean it, Gus. Why not, go north with a herd?
Gus McCrae: I'll tell you what. You ride on up there, clear out the Iindians, build a little cabin, get a nice fire goin' in the fireplace and me and Jake will gather a herd and then we'll come on up.
Woodrow Call: I'd like to see the herd that you and Jake could gather. Herd o' whores, maybe.
Gus McCrae: Well you ain't no more a cattleman than I am, Call, and y'know it, too.
Woodrow Call: I wanna do it, Gus. I wanna see that country, before the bankers and lawyers all git it.
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Gus McCrae: I could kick you for givin' him all them ideas about Montana. Now we're gonna suffer for the rest of our damn lives.
Jake Spoon: Yeah, I forgot how determined he can get, once an idea takes root.
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Clara Allen: Here, Mr. Johnson. Meet your son. (Hands baby to July Johnson, who holds him in his arms.) Well, that's a good sign. I guess you'd at least catch him if somebody threw him off a roof.
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Gus McCrae: I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less.
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Gus McCrae: Well, I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy.
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Pea Eye Parker: What's it read, Gus?
Gus McCrae: It says, "Josh Deets. Served with me 30 years. Fought In 21 engagements with the Comanche and the Kiowa. Cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task. Splendid behavior." That's what it says.
Pea Eye Parker: My lord. Old Deets is gone. My lord.
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Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault we should've shot sooner.
Gus McCrae: I don't want even to begin thinking Woodrow of all the things we should have done for this good man.
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Gus McCrae: You know how it works Jake, you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line.
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Jake Spoon: I didn't see no line Gus. I was just trying to get through the territory without getting scalped, that's all.
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Woodrow Call: We come to this place to make money. They wasn't nothin' about fun in the deal.
Gus McCrae: What are you talkin' about? You don't even like money. You like money even less than you like fun, if that's possible.
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Roy Suggs: What did you find?
Dan Suggs: Nothing but his old watch. Damn sodbusters!
Jake Spoon: You shot those two men for a watch?
Dan Suggs: Shot 'em, now I'm going to hang 'em.
Eddie Suggs: Hang 'em? Dang, you beat all! I've never heard of hanging dead men.
Dan Suggs: Shot 'em, now I'm gonna hang 'em, then I'm gonna burn 'em! Damn sodbusters. Can't ever be too dead to suit me.
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Clara Allen: Sometimes it seems like grave digging is all we do around here, don't it Cholo? What do you think happens when we die?
Cholo: Not much. You are just dead.
Clara Allen: Maybe it's not as big a change as we think. Maybe you just go back to where you lived or near your family, or wherever you were the happiest. Only you're just a spirit now... and you don't have the troubles the living have.
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[while July Johnson helped Gus McCrae attack the bandits' camp, July's friends were murdered by Blue Duck]
July Johnson: It was my fault! Hell, you told me to stay.
Gus McCrae: I know I did, son. And I'm sure you wished you had. But yesterday's gone, we can't get it back. Now you go on with your digging.
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Jake Spoon: Well, hell, boys. I'd damn sight rather be hung by my friends than by a bunch o' damn strangers. Newt... Well, adios, boys. Hope you won't hold it against me. Never meant no harm.
[spurs his horse, hanging himself before Gus does it]
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Joshua Deets: [in the Wyoming Badlands] What we doin' up here, Captain? This ain't our land.
Gus McCrae: Woodrow is determined to be the first man to graze cattle in Montana, even if it kills all of us.
Joshua Deets: Don't seem right, Captain. A man ought not to leave his land and his people.
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Gus McCrae: [at Deet's burial] I think old Deets knew it was his time. He didn't drop that baby or try to give him back or draw his gun. He just stood there and let that Indian stick that lance right through him.
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Blue Duck: [to Gus] You ever bring that tongue of yours north of the Canadian River, I'll cut it off and feed it to my wolf pups.
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Woodrow Call: [Call thinks Gus has died] Augustus.
Gus McCrae: [opens his eyes] By God, Woodrow; it's been one hell of a party.
[dies]
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Gus McCrae: [Old Hugh has found Gus on the trail] How far is it to Miles City?
Hugh Auld: About forty miles in that direction. You ain't gonna make it forty miles on that rotten leg.
Gus McCrae: [begins hobbling off] Believe I'll make a liar out of you.
Hugh Auld: Wait a minute! Here, take my horse. I'll follow along behind. Where are you from anyway?
Gus McCrae: Little fart of a town on the Rio Grande called Lonesome Dove.
Hugh Auld: [laughing] You're a travelin' man, 'Gustus McRae!
Gus McCrae: [looking ruefully at his leg] Was, I'm afraid; was.
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Woodrow Call: Well, Augustus is dead. Died from blood poisonin' from them arrows them Indians shot in him. They cut off one of his legs, but the poison got in the other and he wouldn't let 'em cut it off. Stubborn about it; that's what killed him, bein' stubborn.
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Woodrow Call: [after burying Gus by the stream in Texas] Well, Gus; there you go. I guess this will teach me to be more careful about what I promise people in the future.
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Woodrow Call: Well; good luck in getting back to Texas, Dish.
Jasper Fant: [laughing] He ain't goin' back to Texas. He's goin' to Ogallala to see that whore now that Gus is dead.
Dish Boggett: She ain't no whore! You take that back, Jasper; you take it back or I'll box your ears!
Jasper Fant: [deciding not to fight] Well, I meant she was a whore in her younger years. I don't know what *profession* she follows now.
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Woodrow Call: [to the doctor] We can still take that other leg. Get him drunk and I'll hold him.
Gus McCrae: [pulling his pistol from under the blanket] No, sir; you ain't gettin' my leg. You don't boss me, Woodrow. I'm the only man you don't boss.
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Woodrow Call: [after meeting July] You're that Arkansas sheriff come to Texas after Jake Spoon, ain't you?
July Johnson: Well, that seems like a long time ago. I don't know if I'll ever start back lookin' for him.
Woodrow Call: Just as well; he fell in with a bad bunch and we had to hang him.
[walks off as July looks stunned]
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Blue Duck: [Blue Duck has run into Gus by the river] I know you from the old days, McRae.
Gus McCrae: I know you too, Blue Duck.
Blue Duck: Where's your friend? Where's Call? If I kill you, I'll have to wait here and kill him too.
Gus McCrae: I expect he'll be along after a while. If you can kill me, you can have a seat over in the shade and wait on him.
Blue Duck: No, I ain't got time to waste on killin' some old Ranger with holes in his underwear. There's plenty more need killin'.
[Mounts his horse and rides off]
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Roscoe Brown: [Peach has told Roscoe to go find July] Find July! He's been gone over six days!
Peach Johnson: He's gone to Texas, Roscoe. I reckon you can find Texas!
Roscoe Brown: Of course I can find Texas, Peach. I just don't know if I can find July!
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Woodrow Call: [riding in San Antonio] Things sure have changed since the last time I was here. It's all growed up.
Gus McCrae: Of course it's growed up, Woodrow. He killed all the Indians and bandits so the bankers could move in.
Woodrow Call: Only a fool would want the Indians back.
Gus McCrae: Has it ever occurred to you, Woodrow; that all the work we done was for the bankers? Hell, we killed off everybody made this country interestin'!
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Blue Duck: [Call is looking at Blue Duck in jail] I hear you brought you stinkin' old friend to watch my hangin'.
Woodrow Call: He'd have enjoyed it.
Blue Duck: I should've killed him when I had a chance.
Woodrow Call: I'd have killed you for it.
Blue Duck: [laughing] I stole horses, burned farms, killed men, raped women and stole children all over your territory and until today, you never even got a good look at me! I don't think you would've killed me. Rangers! I 'spect I'll kill a passel of you yet.
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Clara Allen: [referring to Newt] Did you give that boy your name before you left Montana?
Woodrow Call: I gave him my horse.
Clara Allen: [scornfully] But not your name.
Woodrow Call: I value the horse more than my name.
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Clara Allen: I loved Augustus McRae, but I wasn't willing to share him with you every time you decided to ride off on some adventure. I despised you for what you were then, Captain Call; and I despise you for what you're doing!
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Woodrow Call: How do I know you won't start missin' your wife after about five miles and decide to quit?
Po Campo: My wife is in hell; where I sent her.
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Blue Duck: [Blue Duck has shot an Indian that disagreed with him] Life is cheap up here on the Canadian and it's likely to get a lot cheaper. Let's gamble.
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Woodrow Call: [Jake is carrying a drunken Dish across the bridge] Dish, what in the hell has happened to you?
Dish Boggett: Wish I could say, Captain.
Woodrow Call: Why not?
Dish Boggett: 'Cause I can't remember.
Jake Spoon: [Laughing] I found him in back of the saloon, tryin' to see how fast he could drink a bottle of whiskey.
Woodrow Call: Dammit, Dish; I won't have a man with me who can't do his job!
Dish Boggett: [Attempting to straighten up] Don't worry, Captain. I can sit my horse.
[Falls down and starts throwing up]
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Joshua Deets: [Laughing] Done put a gun on you. Reckon you'll be boss of this outfit before too much longer.
Newt: [Going along with the joke] You better hope not, Deets. First thing I'll do is cut your wages for all them times you been joshin' me.
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Gus McCrae: [Call and McRae are about to hang the Suggs brothers] Say goodbye to your brothers; I expect you got them into this.
Dan Suggs: The hell with them! They ain't worth a red piss; and neither are you!
Gus McCrae: I'll say this, Suggs; you're the kind of man it's a pleasure to hang. If all you can talk is guff, you can talk it to the Devil.
[Hits Dan's horse with a quirt causing his and Eddie's horse to bolt]
Roy Suggs: I shoulda been second. Little Eddie was the youngest.
Gus McCrae: I apologize, son; I never meant to scare his horse like that. Well, are you ready?
Roy Suggs: [Shrugs] Yeah, I guess so.
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July Johnson: [Gus walks up on July's bunch in the dark] Who were they shootin' at?
Gus McCrae: They were shootin' at me! This is Captain Augustus McRae, Texas Rangers. Now, don't shoot me; I'm walkin' in.
Gus McCrae: [Shaking hands with July] Augustus McRae. Those were Blue Duck's boys. I've been chasin' him. He stole a woman and I'm tryin to get her back.
July Johnson: July Johnson, I'm sheriff in Fort Smith, Arkansas. This is my deputy Roscoe Brown, this is Joe and Janie.
Gus McCrae: July Johnson! You're that Arkansas sheriff came down lookin' for Jake Spoon. If you're lookin' for Jake, you missed him by about 200 miles.
July Johnson: I'm not looking for Spoon right now. I've got more urgent business in the North.
Gus McCrae: I've got to go after Blue Duck. I expect he's up on the Canadian somewhere. If I could trouble you for the loan of a horse, I'll return it and probably a few more.
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Gus McCrae: [to Jake about his riding with the Suggs] A man that will go along with five killin's is taking his leaving awful slow.
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Gus McCrae: [Coming upon the sodbusters killed by Dan Suggs] I'god, a man could get rich in the grave digging business around here. Pea, you ought to get a long shovel.
Pea Eye Parker: I don't think I'd want to do that.
Woodrow Call: This is a bad bunch we're after.
Newt: Gus, Jake wouldn't have nothin' to do with something like this!
Gus McCrae: Jake's always been easily led.
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Gus McCrae: Is that all you boys can think about; gettin' to Ogallala and spendin' your money on whores?
Jasper Fant: That's all right for you, Gus; you got Lorena with you. What about the rest of us?
Gus McCrae: What's good for me might not be good for the weak minded.
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Newt: Gus, are you sure the Captain is my father?
Gus McCrae: Yep, he is.
Newt: He ain't never mentioned it.
Gus McCrae: Well, Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner.
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Jake Spoon: A man that will talk to a pig ain't no better than a farmer.
Gus McCrae: I expected you to own a bank or at least a whorehouse by now Jake. It seems life has been a disappointment to both of us.
Jake Spoon: That might be so, but by God, I ain't never said a word to a pig.
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Gus McCrae: Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop
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