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What makes a bad parent?

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Murgen

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And when do you step in? When do you stop caring and distance yourself from a situation you know is bad, and stop trying to help? How do you show a person the way they are acting is hurting their children? How hard should you fight to make the parent notice what she is doing.

And just so everybody knows, this does not involve a divorce or kids of my own! :???:
 

ranchwife

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what a painful dilemma you find yourself (and innocent children)in, murgen!! my heart to you and those kids and prayers your way that you may find the way to help these kids....and the parent(s) involved!! Have the parents been spoken to about their behavior?? are they even aware that what they are doing is detrimental to the very emotional and physical being of the kids they were blessed with? sometimes even the best of parents make mistakes and the children are the ones left dealing with the wounds, but if this is NOT a rare happening, then someone (perhaps a guardian angel in the disguise of a rancher :wink: ) must step forward.....stop and think, Murgen....are the children in physical harm? if the answer is yes, then SOMEONE must help them any way they can! i am not sure what sort of family services are available in canada, but here in america there are a number of resources available! Best of luck to you and the kids involved...i will be praying for a peaceful and HAPPY resolution!

kris
 
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Murgen - does she have any family or friends, coworkers, minister that will join you in trying to interact with her? I've been involved in many interventions over the years-- for family problems, alcoholism, drug abuse, deliquent youths, youths in need of care, etc.. Some worked, some didn't... Some people are thankful today that I stuck my nose in- others have never forgiven me, altho I think thru the years they all realized why I did it...But I found that in any intervention strength is in numbers... Anything like that is tough- usually lots of denial, lots of namecalling, and lots of tears-- but sometimes the alternative can be much worse.....
 

Shelly

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Well, if I know you, you'll never stop caring or trying to help. Sad thing is, no matter what you say or do, this person will probably never change. Or if she does, it'll only be for awhile and then more than likely slip back into her old ways. Myself, I probably wouldn't know what to do in this kind of situation either. I suppose worse come to worse, the authorities will have to be involved. But for the sake of the children, don't stand back and do nothing. They probably are quite dependent on you already.
 

Murgen

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thanks for the comments so far everybody. Should add that there is no danger of physical harm, but sometimes the mental can be worse.
 

Hanta Yo

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Murgen said:
And when do you step in? When do you stop caring and distance yourself from a situation you know is bad, and stop trying to help? How do you show a person the way they are acting is hurting their children? How hard should you fight to make the parent notice what she is doing.

And just so everybody knows, this does not involve a divorce or kids of my own! :???:

You NEVER stop caring. We have a similar situation here, kids adopted, father is a creep. Got caught DUI, having sex with a minor, now they are going to move to TX. They have a daughter in our daughter's class, she denies any problem, we've offered to keep her here so she can finish school here...guess it's not going to happen. We could get child protective services after them and If I had cajones I would get after them but the daughter is in complete denial...how to deal with that??!!
 

Chuckie

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murgen, here's my thoughts. first, if this person is raising the kids all alone, go in with a " it seems like things are overwhelming sometimes--can i help? can i take the kids for an hour or so to give you some decrompression time?"

that could be all that's needed--some time to regroup and think about how to best deal with the kids. if some parenting-skills teaching are in order (and believe me, it's easier said than done when you're a single parent), well, i've been to some really good classes that i wish i'd been to 13 years ago..

that doesn't help you though. any relatives close you could call and express your concerns? well of course not or you wouldn't be posting this...

i don't know: call HHHS if the children are being mentally abused, but that's a dicey call. try to get with some people to help the parent help themselves. wish i was there, damnitt....as haymaker says-good luck...wish i could contribute more....
 

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