Saddletramp
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- Feb 10, 2005
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Alright Folks it might be kind of early but I've got some Christmas programs coming up and I need to try these out. I just wrote this and I need to get some feed back. :? :?
SLIM JIM'S CHRISTMAS
by Saddletramp 2005
'How come I've got to do it?" Asked South Dakota Jim.
"I can keep dry in a rainstorm under a four inch brim."
"Cause the Kids down at the school house need a Santa Claus.
Now quit acting like a Ma Ma bear that's going thru menopause."
"We cut the cards fair and square, you loss and that is that.
"Now hold still there little cowboy cause we gotta make you fat."
They cinched up a feather pillow around his wormy gut
and flank chinched another one to give him lotsa butt.
They stuffed him into red long johns, like a prolapse in a cow.
Then they stood him up and Jimmy looked as mad as a fightin' sow.
Fixed him up with a beard and wig made from long white hair
that they had borrowed out of the tail of a palomino mare.
Jimmy said "I bet I look stupid." They all agreed "Yeah, ya do."
"Just don't forget to say 'HO HO HO' as soon as the singin' is through."
He mounted up on ol' Sniper and his belly hung over the swells.
They handed up his sack of goodies and added some silver bells.
Then Jimmy started off into the night headed for the country school.
The snow was hard and crunchy and the wind was kind'a cool.
The school house lights shined bright where the cars and pickups parked.
As ol' Santa trotted up to the playground, cowdogs proceded to bark.
Ranch folks came from all over to see the play and sing the songs.
But Jimmy thought, "Seems like everyone brought their dogs along."
It seemed to be really coolin' down as Jimmy waited in the dark.
And as he shivvered and chattered, those danged dogs kept up the bark.
Jim thought, "Those kids will be surprised at what Ol' Santa's bringing.'
"But I could be in there where it's warm if they'd just quit with the singin'."
About then out from under a pickup truck, snuck a heeler dog.
He stuck it on Ol' Snip and that horse commenced to bog.
Snip fired off thru the swingsets like a moose down thru the willows.
Jimmy made a grab for the saddlehorn but it was covered up with pillow.
About the fourth jump , St. Nick came lose and he landed with a splat.
Six cowdogs and five coyote hounds attacked Jim and the candy sack.
They was chewing up his pillows....feathers exploded in the breeze.
Poor Jimmy tried to scream, but all he could do was sneeze.
The crowd poured out of the schoolhouse and they was shocked at what they saw.
Old folks broke out laughing and kids screamed,"THEY'RE KILLIN' SANTA CLAUS!"
Coyote hounds were shredding pillows, shacking them like rats.
Some shepards were slinking off.... with the candy sack.
Heelers were chasing Sniper, sounded like he was headed home.
Little Jimmy made a snow angel and rolled over with a groan.
Like a hawk pulled thru the plucker, Jim was trying to catch his air.
A-gagging and a-choking on his beard of tail hair.
He could hear the crowd a-laughing, he felt like a broken yoke.
He raised up on one elbow and said," Merry Chritmas, Folks." :wink:
SLIM JIM'S CHRISTMAS
by Saddletramp 2005
'How come I've got to do it?" Asked South Dakota Jim.
"I can keep dry in a rainstorm under a four inch brim."
"Cause the Kids down at the school house need a Santa Claus.
Now quit acting like a Ma Ma bear that's going thru menopause."
"We cut the cards fair and square, you loss and that is that.
"Now hold still there little cowboy cause we gotta make you fat."
They cinched up a feather pillow around his wormy gut
and flank chinched another one to give him lotsa butt.
They stuffed him into red long johns, like a prolapse in a cow.
Then they stood him up and Jimmy looked as mad as a fightin' sow.
Fixed him up with a beard and wig made from long white hair
that they had borrowed out of the tail of a palomino mare.
Jimmy said "I bet I look stupid." They all agreed "Yeah, ya do."
"Just don't forget to say 'HO HO HO' as soon as the singin' is through."
He mounted up on ol' Sniper and his belly hung over the swells.
They handed up his sack of goodies and added some silver bells.
Then Jimmy started off into the night headed for the country school.
The snow was hard and crunchy and the wind was kind'a cool.
The school house lights shined bright where the cars and pickups parked.
As ol' Santa trotted up to the playground, cowdogs proceded to bark.
Ranch folks came from all over to see the play and sing the songs.
But Jimmy thought, "Seems like everyone brought their dogs along."
It seemed to be really coolin' down as Jimmy waited in the dark.
And as he shivvered and chattered, those danged dogs kept up the bark.
Jim thought, "Those kids will be surprised at what Ol' Santa's bringing.'
"But I could be in there where it's warm if they'd just quit with the singin'."
About then out from under a pickup truck, snuck a heeler dog.
He stuck it on Ol' Snip and that horse commenced to bog.
Snip fired off thru the swingsets like a moose down thru the willows.
Jimmy made a grab for the saddlehorn but it was covered up with pillow.
About the fourth jump , St. Nick came lose and he landed with a splat.
Six cowdogs and five coyote hounds attacked Jim and the candy sack.
They was chewing up his pillows....feathers exploded in the breeze.
Poor Jimmy tried to scream, but all he could do was sneeze.
The crowd poured out of the schoolhouse and they was shocked at what they saw.
Old folks broke out laughing and kids screamed,"THEY'RE KILLIN' SANTA CLAUS!"
Coyote hounds were shredding pillows, shacking them like rats.
Some shepards were slinking off.... with the candy sack.
Heelers were chasing Sniper, sounded like he was headed home.
Little Jimmy made a snow angel and rolled over with a groan.
Like a hawk pulled thru the plucker, Jim was trying to catch his air.
A-gagging and a-choking on his beard of tail hair.
He could hear the crowd a-laughing, he felt like a broken yoke.
He raised up on one elbow and said," Merry Chritmas, Folks." :wink:
