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Blondes

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Anonymous

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A year of blondes in review...................
>
>1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
>2. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
>3. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.
>4. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
>5. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
>6. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
>7. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C."
>8. Burnt her nose bobbing for french fries.
>9. Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
>10. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
>11. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.
>12. Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree.
>13. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds."
>14. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
>15. What goes "vroom-screech-vroom-screech', etc.? - - A blonde at a flashing red light.
>16. Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when one says, " Hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down."
 

CKC1586

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you might like this one......


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

As she was leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that she'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable".

The telegraph operator shakes her head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow.." (com-for-da-bull)
 

nr

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Reminds me of a saying a Mexican woman taught me:

Men date blonds. But they marry brunettes.
 
A

Anonymous

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From my boyfriend to share with y'all

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!


Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
 
A

Anonymous

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I must be guest because I posted the last message from work :eek:

I'm really Reader (the Second)
 
A

Anonymous

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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through
her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
 

DavidBrowder

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Two blondes were on opposite sides of a river when one blonde hollered across to the other one, "How do I get to the other side?"
The blonde looked down the river, paused for a moment and hollered back, "You are already on the other side."
 

SASH

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Three blondes were following a set of tracks. The first blonde says 'I think those are wolf tracks'. The second blonde says 'No, I'm pretty sure those are coyote tracks. The third blonde was just going to offer her opinion and that's when they got hit by the train.
 

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