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Funniest thing that happened to you

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Don't know if anyone will think this is funny or not, maybe you had to be there.

About 14 years ago I stopped off at my grandparents house, which was a little off the beaten path out in Wounded Knee district. My grandpa was walking around carrying a .22 when I pulled up. He said "We were getting so damn many cats around here I thought I'd thin 'em out and shoot the wild ones, but I got mixed up and shot all of the ...damn tame ones instead." I geuss that's the sort of thing we have to look foreward to when we get old!

Another time we were at a small town 4th of July celebration. My great aunt, who really was getting hard of hearing, had to tell this story at the top of her lungs just as the preacher started to ask the blessing, and mind you she was dressed up like a pioneer woman and smoking a generic cigarette. She said, "I'm getting so damn deaf I can't even hear myself fart anymore. I went to the doctor about it and he said he couldn't help my hearing but could give me something to make me fart louder". Lots of funny memories from the old folks.
 
My oldest daughter actually won Provincial 4H public speaking talking bout her Dad and his misadventures. One of them was the time I found a heifer calving by the dugout and decided I'd just rope her on foot instead of going home to catch a horse. Well she found her second wind and took off across the pasture with me dragging on the end of the lariet. I finally got her snubbed to a 'Electrified' cross fence. Ahe got on the peck and chased me around the post till she got tngled up and I could get the pullers hooked up. Things went pretty good till I put down pressure on the pullers and hit the hot wire-very interesting reaction all round. I finally got the calf out and was giving it mouth to mouth-I tld my wife'I ca't believe it-he's moving' her reply was take his foot off the electric wire he's dead as a stone. We then proceeded to to try and get the loop off but the shot of electricity had really energized her. She busted that little 3" post off and took off dragging a 1/4 mile of hot wire through the cowherd with me in hot pursuit. As my daughter put it- 'A crap incrusted round man-swearing at the top of his lungs diving on his new rope and cutting it in half'. She was easy to sort off to ship as she still had my lariet around her neck-well 10 feet of it lol.
 
NR,
you have made my day!!!! :D :D I have to ask though, what was the effect of electricity running down the puller? I've never had that happen before. :D :D
 
I bet it wasn't just the hair on your head standing at attention! :lol: :lol: :lol: Damn, that was a good story!
 
Husbands and their calving field antics seem to be a good source of side splitting laughter everywhere. I can recall more than a few times laughing until the tears flowed freely. Then he'd come back all huffy, and ask why I didn't help him? I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted cause I was laughing too hard! :lol:
 
Another good one was when I was trying to graft a twin onto an old cow-she swiped my hat off with her tail but I hung in there and got himon a teat from behind. Then she started to crap-ALOT-right on top of my head-down my neck-she was kicking like hell but I hung in there. All that fertilizer but no big increase in hair growth.
 
One cold night my son was having trouble getting a cow that was calving into the barn. She broke a chain on a corral gate and got out into a bigger lot. He came in to tell me his troubles, and being plumb tuckered out, I suggested we both go back out in about thirty minutes.

We did, and even with two of us, the calving cow would not go into the smaller corral. I caught my good old grey horse, Tomcat, and swung onto him bareback. The cow would not cooperate. I rode to the barn, and put my saddle on, cinching it tight enough to rope the cow. I left my flashlight in the barn, so my roping arm would be free. Back into the lot we went, and the old red rip with tail outstretched headed off towards the far fence. I kicked ol' Tomcat, and threw my lariat. The loop sailed around the neck of the ringy cow, and I dallied up tight. She choked down a couple times as my horse dragged her towards the barn. We would give her some air, and Will would persuade her from the back.

Finally we had her pulled into the barn. I got off my horse, and started her into the head-catch, so we could check her out and make sure the calf was coming right. I felt she needed to be checked, as she had been calving for quite some time. Just as I shut the head-catch on her neck, she flipped her ear so I could read the tag. "Oh no!" I exclaimed, "Guess what Will, we got the wrong cow!" :? :???: :mad: :)

The whole process had to be repeated one more time.
 
Soapweed said:
One cold night my son was having trouble getting a cow that was calving into the barn. She broke a chain on a corral gate and got out into a bigger lot. He came in to tell me his troubles, and being plumb tuckered out, I suggested we both go back out in about thirty minutes.

We did, and even with two of us, the calving cow would not go into the smaller corral. I caught my good old grey horse, Tomcat, and swung onto him bareback. The cow would not cooperate. I rode to the barn, and put my saddle on, cinching it tight enough to rope the cow. I left my flashlight in the barn, so my roping arm would be free. Back into the lot we went, and the old red rip with tail outstretched headed off towards the far fence. I kicked ol' Tomcat, and threw my lariat. The loop sailed around the neck of the ringy cow, and I dallied up tight. She choked down a couple times as my horse dragged her towards the barn. We would give her some air, and Will would persuade her from the back.

Finally we had her pulled into the barn. I got off my horse, and started her into the head-catch, so we could check her out and make sure the calf was coming right. I felt she needed to be checked, as she had been calving for quite some time. Just as I shut the head-catch on her neck, she flipped her ear so I could read the tag. "Oh no!" I exclaimed, "Guess what Will, we got the wrong cow!" :? :???: :mad: :)

The whole process had to be repeated one more time.
Click to expand...
Another vote for Electronic Identification - and l-o-o-o-n-g distance wands!
 
NR,
what would you charge me for a weeks worth of hanging out at your place when you are calving, the entertainment would be priceless, and I will take pictures!!! :lol: :lol:
 
sw said:
NR,
what would you charge me for a weeks worth of hanging out at your place when you are calving, the entertainment would be priceless, and I will take pictures!!! :lol: :lol:
Click to expand...
Better keep your film rights, NR. Might be more lucrative than ranching :D
 
Soapweed said:
DOC HARRIS said:
Another vote for Electronic Identification - and l-o-o-o-n-g distance wands!
Click to expand...

But do they work in the dark? (just joking) :wink:
Click to expand...
Hey, Soapweed - I thought that the UCBRWFABWOCATUSAOF (United Cow Boys Ranch Workers Farmers And Bull Whackers Of Canada And The United States Of America) Union made it mandatory that the members could only work from 9:00 AM until 5:00 PM, - therefore they don't have to work in the dark!! :shock: :???:
 
Northern Rancher said:
Another good one was when I was trying to graft a twin onto an old cow-she swiped my hat off with her tail but I hung in there and got himon a teat from behind. Then she started to crap-ALOT-right on top of my head-down my neck-she was kicking like hell but I hung in there. All that fertilizer but no big increase in hair growth.
Click to expand...

I read this to Mrs. Soapweed, who is a fine Christian lady, and her response was, "Guess that would be a time when it would be perfectly legal to say, "Oh.....shhhhhiiiiiiitttttttt!" " :wink:
 
Cal said:
Another time we were at a small town 4th of July celebration. My great aunt, who really was getting hard of hearing, had to tell this story at the top of her lungs just as the preacher started to ask the blessing, and mind you she was dressed up like a pioneer woman and smoking a generic cigarette. She said, "I'm getting so damn deaf I can't even hear myself fart anymore. I went to the doctor about it and he said he couldn't help my hearing but could give me something to make me fart louder". Lots of funny memories from the old folks.
Click to expand...

That was a cute story, Cal. Your granddad was a character, but I believe his sisters taught him how. One time, one of his sisters (I think it was Olive) and her husband led a tour down to the Gordon Massacre site on the Niobrara. It was an eventful day, and she was very entertaining.
 
Soapweed said:
One cold night my son was having trouble getting a cow that was calving into the barn. She broke a chain on a corral gate and got out into a bigger lot. He came in to tell me his troubles, and being plumb tuckered out, I suggested we both go back out in about thirty minutes.

We did, and even with two of us, the calving cow would not go into the smaller corral. I caught my good old grey horse, Tomcat, and swung onto him bareback. The cow would not cooperate. I rode to the barn, and put my saddle on, cinching it tight enough to rope the cow. I left my flashlight in the barn, so my roping arm would be free. Back into the lot we went, and the old red rip with tail outstretched headed off towards the far fence. I kicked ol' Tomcat, and threw my lariat. The loop sailed around the neck of the ringy cow, and I dallied up tight. She choked down a couple times as my horse dragged her towards the barn. We would give her some air, and Will would persuade her from the back.

Finally we had her pulled into the barn. I got off my horse, and started her into the head-catch, so we could check her out and make sure the calf was coming right. I felt she needed to be checked, as she had been calving for quite some time. Just as I shut the head-catch on her neck, she flipped her ear so I could read the tag. "Oh no!" I exclaimed, "Guess what Will, we got the wrong cow!" :? :???: :mad: :)

The whole process had to be repeated one more time.
Click to expand...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who ended up getting the wrong cow in the barn, before! Ya know, if it's snowing hard especially, sometimes it just happens. :lol:
 
Soapweed said:
That was a cute story, Cal. Your granddad was a character, but I believe his sisters taught him how. One time, one of his sisters (I think it was Olive) and her husband led a tour down to the Gordon Massacre site on the Niobrara. It was an eventful day, and she was very entertaining.
Click to expand...


I'm sure she was! :lol:
At one point, her daughter tried to put her in a nursing home. She managed to get kicked out by grabbing a nurse by the hair, twisted her head around, pulled her down, and wouldn't let her go. The poor nurse had to be "rescued", and probably lost a little hair out of the deal. I suspect it sort of went down according to my aunt's plan. I feel sorry for any caretaker that had a run in with my poor old aunt.
 
Cal said:
Soapweed said:
That was a cute story, Cal. Your granddad was a character, but I believe his sisters taught him how. One time, one of his sisters (I think it was Olive) and her husband led a tour down to the Gordon Massacre site on the Niobrara. It was an eventful day, and she was very entertaining.
Click to expand...


I'm sure she was! :lol:
At one point, her daughter tried to put her in a nursing home. She managed to get kicked out by grabbing a nurse by the hair, twisted her head around, pulled her down, and wouldn't let her go. The poor nurse had to be "rescued", and probably lost a little hair out of the deal. I suspect it sort of went down according to my aunt's plan. I feel sorry for any caretaker that had a run in with my poor old aunt.
Click to expand...
- - - -your poor old Aunt!! :shock: Holy Smoke- she sound as if she should have a Belt Buckle as Champion Bull Dogger! Maybe she needed a switch on her nose for control!
 
Many years ago when we were first married ( my wife was only 18 at the time) the "feedlot" we had was very muddy. When I went to fill the feeder Debi followed me in the pick-up to help. After opening the gate and letting me in she was going to open the feeder and got her boots stuck in the "mud". I was getting off the tractor to help her when she fell face first and got a full body make over - - - I did a good job of not laughing and helping her up but she was so mad she jerked away from me and fell over backwards. By this time I could no longer contain it and just about busted a gut laughing so hard. Can you believe she really got mad that I would not let her drive my truck back to the house. I made her get in the back and I walked back for the tractor.

Now is the unbelievable part - - on the 18th of this month we will celibrate 32 years of marriage. She limits the help she gives me and I don't think she has been in the cattle lot since.
 

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