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Is the wife's town job really helping?

Don't get me wrong - - - - I have never seen a paycheck from my wife in the 32 years we hve been married and I can support her ( not as well as she wants) but I get tired of her telling me over and over that she is to tired to do house work, clean, wash cloths etc because of her job. Oh by the way can she have some more gas money, grocery money, lunch money. Then I get the calls from JC Pennys and WalMart and Goodys as she has started charges and has not made payments.

What I'm saying in my situation I would love it if my wife stayed home but she chooses to go to the school and I have learned to live with it. Most of the time I can ignore it but this brought out the aggrivation in me.
 
Peach Blossom (my wife) works full time on the ranch. She is a top cowhand in anybody's book, and she loves what she does. At one time, she had planned to work in the medical profession, and she graduated as a Registered Nurse. We always lived so far out in the sticks that traveling to a hospital job was a major ordeal. Before our first son was born, she did practice her nursing profession for a few months. She would travel to her job, work an eight-hour shift, spend the night in a back room at the hospital, work another eight-hour shift and then drive back home. It worked fairly well, but after our boy came along, she quit nursing.

We had two more kids, traded for a bigger ranch, increased our cowherd size, and it was just never convenient for her to work off the ranch. After leasing my dad's place in January of 1994, for a few years we kept two full-time hired hands busy. One was getting up in years and needed easier work, so when he left, Peach Blossom decided to no longer keep up her nursing license. She is a full-time cowgirl, and believe me, she is one of the best. I'm very proud to have her as my wife and partner.
 
Soapweed, she is a practicing nurse, she has to take care of all of those animals, you, the Kosmo Kid and Saddletramp and all of your owwies every single day. She has the full time job now, we should be discussing how much the Soapweeds job brings in. :wink: That is unless you are selling photos and we don't know about it :???: Most marriages could not stand the partner concept on the ranch, you and I are blessed. Why work a job in town that will bring in very little when it is all said and done when you could have the spouse working with you instead of hiring somebody that you have to provide housing, pay Workman's Comp, payroll taxes, insurance and on and on when I can have the person that is already in your house, covered by your insurance and keeps the bed warm for you. Besides, she does do a better job of fencing, I'm a better driver and picture taker :oops:
 
sw said:
Soapweed, she is a practicing nurse, she has to take care of all of those animals, you, the Kosmo Kid and Saddletramp and all of your owwies every single day. She has the full time job now, we should be discussing how much the Soapweeds job brings in. :wink: That is unless you are selling photos and we don't know about it :???: Most marriages could not stand the partner concept on the ranch, you and I are blessed. Why work a job in town that will bring in very little when it is all said and done when you could have the spouse working with you instead of hiring somebody that you have to provide housing, pay Workman's Comp, payroll taxes, insurance and on and on when I can have the person that is already in your house, covered by your insurance and keeps the bed warm for you. Besides, she does do a better job of fencing, I'm a better driver and picture taker :oops:
Click to expand...

You are right, sw, it is a good system having our spouses work with us full-time on the ranch. Peach Blossom does get plenty of nursing practice working on kids, calves and cowboys. She is also the neighborhood consultant. A lot of medical questions get fielded her way.
 
First a quick note to George, I understand when a raw nerve gets touched. Most of the time we learn how to avoid getting it bumped, but every now and then it can be tough to avoid.

I think you showed how it doesn't always work perfectly, but like you said you learn to live with it, and hopefully the good outweighs the bad.

I must admit my jealousy of the working relationship the Soapweed and SW have with their wives. I wish I could work with my husband that way. And it isn't a town job that keeps me from it.

My husband works with his father; they are the partners. They discuss everything in their own quiet way, and they work together. When I married my husband I wanted the life of working side by side with my husband. Sometimes, he asks me if he decided to up and leave the ranch and head to a line camp in NV would I go. I keep hoping that each time I tearfully tell him that I would love that, it will finally sink in.

A buddy of his said to him once that of all the wives in the area, he thought I was the only one who would be ok with that kind of roughing it. What a compliment that was to me. How I wish I had the chance to prove it. I hate working in town, so I actually quit. But getting into the "club" that my hubby and his dad share is very tough to do.

You see, I can tag along. They don't mind that. But they work over me. They don't let me pull my weight. They are more experienced and I think that they just unconsciously do everything to get it done efficiently. It's kinda like a cliche, and ever since I was in grade school, I HATED cliches. I watched kids struggle to get "in", and I dug in my heels. I was never gonna grovel for a place in any group.

So when we're doing something and they leave me on the sidelines, and won't show me how to get something done, I admit I feel that same mulish sensation and I don't appreciate it much. If they'd give me a chance they'd see that though inexperienced I have tons of try. It's a strange position to be in, cause I don't want to come across to them as a greenhorn nosing in on their action.

Well, I better quit yakking, or I'll start blubbing, and I know how uncomfortable that makes you guys. :) I feel awful when I find myself wishing my fil and mil were out of the picture, and I could have the chance to prove my worth to my man. Any chance I get to steal him away from daddy and go help him out, I take it!

What a great pair of ladies you both have; I wish I knew them and could learn from such women. I tip my hat to the women who made it "in". Bless you all.
 
All you have to do is cripple your husband up so you can take his place while he is healin g up. Got any rank colts to start. How about snotty cows who's calves need tagged. Be imaginative, you can do it.

Of course the other option would be to cripple up the fil. Naw, that is just too mean to an older guy. :wink:
 
Oh my gosh Jinglebob! My gears are spinning. Hm? Forms of non lethal crippling. I suppose it has to be something that only cripples him and not the pocketbook. :D He is going to show me the ropes feeding, which I've suggested for years! But, typical guy, now its his bright idea.

Desperation is the mother of necessity. His dad's Scotch-Irish genes are coming out and he keeps disappearing to take part in all the political wranglings. So, now, my man has this idea. Wait I can make the wife do the feeding while I check the cows. The genius level workings of his cowboy mind send my heart all flutter. :P

Maybe I don't have to cripple either of them, just encourage the fil to run for office! He's a rancher; he should be good at bs. :oops:
 
needtolearn said:
First a quick note to George, I understand when a raw nerve gets touched. Most of the time we learn how to avoid getting it bumped, but every now and then it can be tough to avoid.

I think you showed how it doesn't always work perfectly, but like you said you learn to live with it, and hopefully the good outweighs the bad.

I must admit my jealousy of the working relationship the Soapweed and SW have with their wives. I wish I could work with my husband that way. And it isn't a town job that keeps me from it.

My husband works with his father; they are the partners. They discuss everything in their own quiet way, and they work together. When I married my husband I wanted the life of working side by side with my husband. Sometimes, he asks me if he decided to up and leave the ranch and head to a line camp in NV would I go. I keep hoping that each time I tearfully tell him that I would love that, it will finally sink in.

A buddy of his said to him once that of all the wives in the area, he thought I was the only one who would be ok with that kind of roughing it. What a compliment that was to me. How I wish I had the chance to prove it. I hate working in town, so I actually quit. But getting into the "club" that my hubby and his dad share is very tough to do.

You see, I can tag along. They don't mind that. But they work over me. They don't let me pull my weight. They are more experienced and I think that they just unconsciously do everything to get it done efficiently. It's kinda like a cliche, and ever since I was in grade school, I HATED cliches. I watched kids struggle to get "in", and I dug in my heels. I was never gonna grovel for a place in any group.

So when we're doing something and they leave me on the sidelines, and won't show me how to get something done, I admit I feel that same mulish sensation and I don't appreciate it much. If they'd give me a chance they'd see that though inexperienced I have tons of try. It's a strange position to be in, cause I don't want to come across to them as a greenhorn nosing in on their action.

Well, I better quit yakking, or I'll start blubbing, and I know how uncomfortable that makes you guys. :) I feel awful when I find myself wishing my fil and mil were out of the picture, and I could have the chance to prove my worth to my man. Any chance I get to steal him away from daddy and go help him out, I take it!

What a great pair of ladies you both have; I wish I knew them and could learn from such women. I tip my hat to the women who made it "in". Bless you all.
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Have you ever just told your husband and father in law how you feel?
 
Yeap i agree, tell em how ya feel, long time ago, I wanted to help, and got the reaction your speakin of, That's when I let em know, it takes time to learn how to do somethings, and if someone will take the time to show you how, they'll find out just how much help you can be. Sometimes gettin their attention aint' a perdy site.....(let em know how ya feel) they'll listen up. Men are funny that way, when their woman's not happy, they'll tune in to find out what they did wrong, or what they can do to make you happy.
 
Just a point I wanted to make,just because I work off the place doesn't mean I don't work on it.Theres only the two of us here now Greg also works,so we work together with the cattle,always have always will!!!
 
Partnerships open a whole other can of worms.

It takes many years sometimes for a father/son partnership to turn from dad being boss and son being worker to them being equals to the son taking control.

I've seen more than 1 wife be mad about the time it takes, and that anger can be lethal to the original partnership.

One family business up here has about 7 brothers working in it. I asked one of them how they have managed so well over so many years. He said it was the wives. They all got along and stayed out of the business. If they ever started with the "my husband worked more hours than yours" the business would have failed.

As for budgets, without one a family or business will never realize its full potential. Planning income vs expenses allows for major purchases by limiting minor impulse spending. I'd rather have a nicer home than eat out more often for one example.

The business model of farms and ranches, while often cash poor should be building equity, even if it shows losses. If it isn't, it isn't providing for a family in a responsible manner.
 
Jason quote: I'd rather have a nicer home than eat out more often for one example.

This brought to mind a deal I seen or HGTV the other day, Enter to win a $75,000 kitchen make-over. (first off. I can't imagine tryin to spend that much money all in the kitchen) then on top of that, if you win the kitchen make-over you get a bonus of $10,000 to eat out on for the next year.............if you just spent $75,000 remodelin your kitchen, wouldn't you wanna cook in it? NOT go out to eat???
 
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
Jason quote: I'd rather have a nicer home than eat out more often for one example.

This brought to mind a deal I seen or HGTV the other day, Enter to win a $75,000 kitchen make-over. (first off. I can't imagine tryin to spend that much money all in the kitchen) then on top of that, if you win the kitchen make-over you get a bonus of $10,000 to eat out on for the next year.............if you just spent $75,000 remodelin your kitchen, wouldn't you wanna cook in it? NOT go out to eat???
Click to expand...

That $10,000 is to feed you while the slack a--ed contractor was puttering around installing you new microwave.
 
The men would definitely want the wife to cook in it, the women wouldn't mind going out to eat. :wink:

Mr. FH always says the best place he ever found to eat was HOME!!
Not funny if you are a long ways from home and he intends to drive home for supper...I swear, if he is by himself, he'll pass up every restaurant along the way so he can get home to eat.

Since I work a couple of days a week he has been on his own for lunch.
Took me a long time to get him to understand two pieces of bread make a sandwich. Now he has graduated; he can even cook a hot dog in the microwave~

One thing about it, he knows how to keep me cooking. He never fails to appreciate it and tell me how good it was. He always mentions it. (Sometimes I think he speaks with forked tongue.) :P
 
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
Jason quote: I'd rather have a nicer home than eat out more often for one example.

This brought to mind a deal I seen or HGTV the other day, Enter to win a $75,000 kitchen make-over. (first off. I can't imagine tryin to spend that much money all in the kitchen) then on top of that, if you win the kitchen make-over you get a bonus of $10,000 to eat out on for the next year.............if you just spent $75,000 remodelin your kitchen, wouldn't you wanna cook in it? NOT go out to eat???
Click to expand...

If I spent $75K on a kitchen I'd be hesitant to step foot in it, much less cook in it and make a real mess! :D :D :D :lol:
 
Heck I like our shack you can tell whether it's raining or what direction the wind is blowing without getting out of bed lol. Anybody whose met me knows my wife can cook-I eat out alot when on the road coaching and after awhile all restaurant food tastes the same anyway. My wife got a high paying off farm job last year and the money helped with some extra stuff for the kids but the mill closed so we didn't have it long enough to get spoiled.
 
I"m just the opposite, I'd rather eat at home. Rather cook my own food. That way I know it's good. LOL and a whole heck of alot cheaper.

At our house we both cook. Sometimes together, sometimes seperately. He wanted to learn how, so I just told him, only way your gonna learn is to git in here with me and watch and do.....so he has.

He's even gettin to be a fair hand at cleanin up his own messes. Although, I'm still tryin to teach him that you don't hafta use ever available pot to cook one meal with. That man can dirty more dishes cookin supper than anyone I've ever seen. But I'm not complainin, least he gets in there and trys.

And if I was to enter to win the kitchen makeover, there wouldn't be no
"slack a--ed contractor" We'd do it ourselves. (still thinkin tho that that $75,000 would get spread out in other rooms of the house) Heck we only spent half that buildin the whole house!!!!!
 
Wife and I have a great system going,she cooks I eat.About the work,everyone does somthin dif.if it works great.like makin money off cows but also do it cause love it.Thats my story amd I'm stickin to it!
 
my wife just quit her 14 year job as a police officer. She is very happy doing the ranchwork because now she just has to deal with one a$$hole.
 

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