Lunatic Cow Stories

[DiamondSCattleCo]

Maybe this has been covered already, but I'm sure everyone out there has at least one story of the craziest cow they ever did have on the place. So lets hear em. This one is probably my worst, and longest:

I think about the baddest I ever had here was a black blaze face that I bought at a herd dispersal. When she was in the auction ring, she was in a pen of other good looking blazes that I wanted. She tried to eat the floorman, but he was kind of a chicken, so I didn't think much of it. When I unloaded her and her sisters (with their calves), she tried to eat me. A couple quick raps with a sorting stick and a bellar from me, and she left me alone. So I figgered all was going to be ok.

Time warp forward a few months to calving season. I walked out to do a check and that "good old" blaze had a calf. Her head was up though, and she was watching me walk from the house. My calving pen is fairly large, about 500 feet x 500 feet. She was at one end of it when I hopped over the fence and started walking toward her. Much to my surprise, she started walking towards me too. I didn't have sorting stick so I hopped out and grabbed it, just in case. When I hopped out, she walked back to her calf and kept mothering it.

Armed with sorting stick in hand, I hopped back into the pen. As I started walking towards her, she started coming for me at a trot. I did a check of my situation, and decided that while I may have been walking softly, I certainly wasn't carrying a big enough stick. So I hopped out of the pen again, and grabbed a 2-3" fencepost (picket). When I hopped back into the pen, she'd had enough, let out a bellar and came hard. So I let out a bellar and went for her. I got about half way to her when I realized that this was a game of chicken I was NOT going to win, fencepost or no. So I let her help me out of the pen.

Ordinarily, I would have let things alone at this point, but it was -20 or so, and I could see the calf was beginning to feel the effects of the cold. So I fired up my trusty old 930, and went to fetch me a calf. When I rolled over to her calf, she backed away, but only until I dropped the bucket over her calf. Then she really came unglued, backed up, and took a run at the 930. She hit the old tractor so hard that she almost put herself down, so I lifted the bucket to let her see that her calf was just fine. The calf got up, and took off towards my calving shelter with Momma bellaring along behind. I was able to herd them with the 930 into the alley and into a warm up pen.

When I let her out the next day, her attitude was no better. Jail time did NOT lead to re-education. So I put her and the calf into a pen all their very own. It took almost 6 weeks before she was calm enough to handle.

Obviously, this was going to be a cull animal, but after 6 weeks she was in the main herd and all was fine. After weaning, I decided she was Rotten Ronnies bound.

My handling area is 6 feet tall, as my first cows were those bad little Angus brutes from years ago. I learned they could run like the wind and leap even 5 foot tall handling corrals with ease. Apparently this blaze faced cow had some rodeo stock in her as she headed down an alley and cleared that 6 foot fence with at least a foot to spare. She was now in with the horses, and after a couple fruitless hours, I decided to heck with her, she could spend time with the horses and get an attitude adjustment.

A couple months later, I finally trapped her up in a watering area. I'd learned my lesson the first time, so I rigged some corral panels up to add some extra height to my handling system. She hit that handling area at a full run, jumped and got her hind leg caught in the corral panel. I don't know if the leg broke or if she simply tore something, but at least it slowed her down. I was able to corner her several times with cold water and poured cold water over the leg. She was showing some improvement in a few days, so I decided not to shoot her.

Time warp another week forward. She decided she was going to drop her last calf, and did so. It was the most pleasant she'd ever been at calving season as she only had three working legs. :lol: Even my old legs could outrun her, and I was even able to tag and bag her calf in the pen :lol:

After weaning, I was able to move her and a couple other culls into a trailer and she left for Burger King. The wife and I celebrated with a steak dinner that night.

Rod

 

[Northern Rancher]

I need my daughters 4H speech she won provincials with-she covered a few of our better ones here.

 

[Jinglebob]

I had one that acted about like DiamondS's but I sure didn't have her in a little pen or corral at calving. She was in a psture up the creek and had her calf and something was wrong with the calf, so I decided to bring them in. Oh did I mention, I didn't know at this time, she was a tad on the snotty side? :lol:

As I was trying to load her calf into the bucket of the loader, she was trying to eat me. So I sicced the dog on her and when she chased him off, I got the calf in the bucket. I sent the dog back and let her come up and find her calf, so she would follow me home. She found him and went to bellering and bawling and I took off, with her circling the tractor like it was a wagon train and she was a passle of irate indians! About the 4th or 5th lap around the tractor, she managed to get partway up into the bucket of the loader and snagged her brisket on one of the bolts that hold the teeth on the bottom of the bucket. Man! Now she was mad!!!

She finally got wiggled off and I raised the loader and took the calf in and came back with a horses, which I should have done in the first place, and brought her in. She was bleeding and sore enough, that she wasn't too much of a bother.

Called a neighbor and he came over and we roped her and tied her to a post and attempted to sew her up. The old rip fought us pretty hard and we didn't get much of a job done on her. Gave her a big shot and turned her loose and as she was circling the corral and having a fit about our treatment of her, she snagged the wound and tore it back open.

I said to hell with her and we left her to her own devices!

Calf healed up and I turned them out in a couple of days. I think she got sold that fall. :???: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

i know she healed up fine and didn't die, as i would have still been celebrating her death! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[needtolearn]

Ok, here's one from the new ranch wife files. My hubby and I had been married about a year, and were working in NE. Calving season rolled around and we had a small band of brahford (aka. tiger) cows to calve out. My hubby was the one getting the paycheck so I wasn't often out helping with them, and didn't know about their man eating tendencies.

One night I lost at the calving duty poker match, and had to take the 2am check. It was a nasty wet icy night, and I wasn't too thrilled at him leering at me sleepily as he kicked me out of bed to check.

I drove out into the calving trap, shining the light about, and trying to stay half asleep. On the last pass I spotted a new mom with a very cold looking calf on the ground. She'd licked him but he wasn't moving, not even an ear twitch. So I drug my coat over my nightgown and slid out of the pickup to see if I could get a better look.

Mama did not approve. I scrambled for the truck cab, and slipped covering my nightgown in calving trap, if you know what I mean. I sat in the cab for a couple secs, swearing I would never play fair at poker again, and decided to get the truck between baby and Mama and try to load him unto the flatbed.

She growled and spit and called me ugly names, but the door was between us so it looked like I'd be ok. But those brahford babies are huge, and he was still slick with afterbirth. I dropped him. Needless to say here came Mama, and I was diving over his shivering body into the cab again.

I backed the rig so he was lying right in front of my door, laid down on the seat, and reached down to drag him into the cab with me. She was gonna crawl in the cab with me, when my elbow bumped our floodlight and it blinded her just long enough to get his feet in and slam the door.

Getting a cold sick halfdead calf past the gearshifts so you aren't smearing birth all over the boss's truck is no easy feat, but I got it done. All the while her nose was sliming up my window.

Needless to say the calf made it, and my hubby threw a two by four in the pickup in case I needed it, but I never lost at poker again!

 

[Northern Rancher]

I had a heifer calving by the dugout-really getting it on-wasn't sure quite how long so thought I'd give her a hand-I told my daughter to go grab my lariet but not to bother bringing a horse as she looked a bit tired out. Well I dropped a loop on her and she took off like she was shot from a gun. I got ahold of the end of the rope and went for about a 1/4 mile drag-then got her dallied to a little three inch post on an electric cross fence-well she proceeded to chase me round and round this post till she kind of choked down. I sent my wife to get the neighbors pullers and got them all hooked up-well I went to push down on them and hit the hot wire-not good-she really got on the peck then.I finally got the calf out and started mouth to nose-he started twitching and I said holy #$%^& it's alive-my wife says take its foot off the hot wire it's dead as a stone. Well that wasn't goodf so I proceeded to take the rope off-or try-she broke off the post and took off through the herd dragging a 1/4 mile of electric fence-with my fat little muck covered body in hot pursuit-I finally caught up and cut the rope lol.

 

[Denny]

I had one of my Registered cows calve.She was quite mean so I figured if I put the calf in the back of the pickup so I set up the scale got the calf in there and he let out a bellar that cow jumped up in the back knocked over the scale and basically tore stuff up the calf fell out on the ground and she jumped out.Some of those registered calves don't need to be weighed that bad.

Had one calveing that needed a little help I sneaked up on her and got the chains on about then she jumped up and took off running I would'nt let go after a 1/4 mile she stopped and I got the calf pulled then I walked around to get my boots and overshoes that had fallen off while being drug.

 

[Jinglebob]

I had a heifer calving by the dugout-really getting it on-wasn't sure quite how long so thought I'd give her a hand-I told my daughter to go grab my lariet but not to bother bringing a horse as she looked a bit tired out. Well I dropped a loop on her and she took off like she was shot from a gun. I got ahold of the end of the rope and went for about a 1/4 mile drag-then got her dallied to a little three inch post on an electric cross fence-well she proceeded to chase me round and round this post till she kind of choked down. I sent my wife to get the neighbors pullers and got them all hooked up-well I went to push down on them and hit the hot wire-not good-she really got on the peck then.I finally got the calf out and started mouth to nose-he started twitching and I said holy #$%^& it's alive-my wife says take its foot off the hot wire it's dead as a stone. Well that wasn't goodf so I proceeded to take the rope off-or try-she broke off the post and took off through the herd dragging a 1/4 mile of electric fence-with my fat little muck covered body in hot pursuit-I finally caught up and cut the rope lol.

I'd have paid good money to see both you and Denny in these situations! :lol: :lol:

See, pain and suffering CAN be funny! :shock: :lol:

 

[Denny]

I got an electric fence one a couple of years ago we were trailing cows and some jump an electric fence and headed out across a field so I jump off my horse pulled a post out and lay the fence down.The horse stepped on the wire and got shocked he jumped sideways and knocked me off the post then the fence stood up under his belly so he goes to spinning and bucking the whole time wrapping the wire around my chest so I 'm getting shocked then he lines out across the field he drug me about 50 ft. before the wire broke that deal scared the hell out of me but all's well that ends well.It was all smooth wire so the horse never got a scratch good thing he was'nt mine.

 

[Jinglebob]

I got an electric fence one a couple of years ago we were trailing cows and some jump an electric fence and headed out across a field so I jump off my horse pulled a post out and lay the fence down.The horse stepped on the wire and got shocked he jumped sideways and knocked me off the post then the fence stood up under his belly so he goes to spinning and bucking the whole time wrapping the wire around my chest so I 'm getting shocked then he lines out across the field he drug me about 50 ft. before the wire broke that deal scared the hell out of me but all's well that ends well.It was all smooth wire so the horse never got a scratch good thing he was'nt mine.

I hate electricity running thru' my body. I wouldn't mind having some electric fence, if I just didn't have to deal with it.

And a horse in wire is no fun, smooth or not.

 

[DiamondSCattleCo]

I hate electricity running thru' my body. I wouldn't mind having some electric fence, if I just didn't have to deal with it.

:lol: I wouldn't mind havin' some barbed wire on the place, if I didn't have to deal with it :lol: I come within 20 paces of barb wire, I end up bleeding. Stinkin' stuff.

Rod

 

[Ranch Mom]

I don't have one particular animal in mind, but a job...

I yardbacked at the Belle Fourche livestock auction when in college. The boys on the other side would delight in getting one rip roaring pissed off shaking in her hooves mad. (my theory is they hot shotted the sh** out of them- some may have just naturally been that upset to be in town alone) Then when she/he came out of the the ring, we would have to try to get down the alley to open the gate before them and get them in the pen without them breaking through the other side. Most of the time, I was horseback and behind the cattle, so I didn't mind, but...

One particular day, a bull beat me down the alley and flipped me up summersault style over a gate into a pen of other bulls, so I had to get right back up and get on the fence in between. He proceeded to hit the gate until a co-worker came and got the other gate open and we chased him in the mud pen (mud so deep they didn't want to fight).:shock:

Another day we had a cow (longhorn to boot) come through that went into a pen right where we had to stand to work. She came up over the boards
to eat me once and as I scrambled to get over the fence across the alley she cleared that one too. Then gave up on me and broke the boards into the third pen, where she decided she liked it. She stayed there the rest of the sale, although I was a little nervous. I didn't help count out that pen after the sale though, did a different alley. :wink:

Take Care

 

[cowsense]

The neighbour took over his Father in Laws cowherd; PB Limos that were used to ranging out and kinda looking after themselves. I wondered why there were so many short-eared,bobtail cows in the bunch; everyone found out why come calving season; It was kind of challenging to get their calves into shelter in cold weather! It usually recquired a combination of saddle horses, a front end loader, ropes and aluminum baseball bats (wood ones break too easy) to sweettalk them cows into letting their calves go into a barn. Several of these cows were Olympic caliber jumpers too......could clear a 5 ft. gate without touching and only had to work a bit to get over higher gates. They wired panels together and stacked up bales to make a catch pen and hauled these athletes to a bred sale. Turns out the old FIL bid them back in and had them hauled home as" they were too good a cows " to let go for the price that was bid on them after they cleared out the sale ring!!!

 

[SHORTSTUFF]

I was running the yards at a sale barn years back. There was a bad drought in Arizona and a buyer was buying train loads of those old wild indian herford cows and sending them to us to preg check, tip the horns and dip. then we would feed them up a little and put them out on shares somewhere.
About every car there would be 2 or three that were still strong enough to clear all the gates and end up across the tracks in the cornfields. the only way to get them back was to be out there befor daylight and you could get one or two roped befor they got back into the corn and holed up for the day.
One morning I found a particularly raunchy one and then found irrigation water in the soft wheat stubble, befor we could get back to dry land she had gored my horse pretty badly. I saw the office manager arrive about then and got his attention to bring a pickup around there.
when he got as close as he could I managed to get the cow up to the pickup and he decided to get out to help me tie it on. The cow saw him and followed him clear inside the pickup, he managed to get out the other door. took several minutes to get the cow to come out though.
finaly got a fresh horse and tripped her a let her lay for the rest of the day, help her attitude a little.
When we worked those cows through the chute one would die from a heart attack quite regularly, some days we had a whole stack of them.

 

[HorseShoer]

I have many tales of being on the bottom side of snot blowin and flyin hooves, But the best story that comes to mind is the one i got to have final justice on.

My story starts out sittin in my warm livin room on a cold nite in January on a outfit in eastern Nevada, when i got a knock on my door. I opend the door to see a strange car with one headlight a bashed in front end of a disposable Toyota Camry 4 door. a frightend lady stood before white as goast and tembling nearly in tears. She went on to discribe how something had jumped right out in front of her and hit her car :? Wich in truth was the other way around ..SHE hit the something :!: Its Open range in that area and clearly posted, so it was no fault of the ranches. One of my ranch hands came to the house to see what was going on, I sent him up to the road to check on the dispositon of the cow while i tried to calm the lady down.

Ryan came back to the house and reported that he found the cow alive but in rather poor shape. I then called the absent owner of the ranch to inform him of happenings , after fillin him in on the situation he decided that we should go ahead and kill the cow and butcher her on the hide ( not my prefernce in beef... but oh well) :???:

I handed Ryan a .38 short barreld pistol i had recently traded a pair of spurs for,and told him to go ahead take another hand up to the road and put her down, i would go git the loader tractor, skinnin knives and bone saw...and meet them up ther.

I gatherd up all the stuff needed and drove the tractor up to wher ryan had said they would be. When i got ther i seen the headlights of the ranch pickup bouncin around the sage brush in a big hurry... it would stop.. then take off again. this repeted a few times till they headed back my dierction along the fence line. I was somewhat puzzeld to what was goin on watchin this rodeo in the dark... I seen they had the cow in front of the pickup herdin it along the fence line.. i got off the tractor to see what was goin on, i walked about 30 feet away from the tractor.. about that time the cow seen me.. and i guess thot i would make a good target.. and silly me i stood right ther as she came on a dead run right at... then right over me! i retreted to the tractor with her right behind me buntin me the whole way... i crawled under the tractor to escape this ragin animal and ill be dammed if she dint come right after me..... Her head was bloody, one eye was poped out and limpin on least 3 legs.

She then turned her attention to the ranch pickup,,, she bunted it several times then ambled off towards the gate. I cussed my ranch hands for not being able to shoot a cow, then snatched the pistol away from em. they informed me they shot her 3 times, but just wouldnt go down! my heck i thot.. ill put a end to this..... i walked down to the gate to wher she was.... i was about half way ther,,,, she came to greet me out the dark. this time i had tractor no to hide under. she came so fast i dint have time to aim n shoot,,, needless to say i tripped over the first sagebrush in my retreat path and she got me down again,,, she rooted me around over the top of me then turned around to do it again! .... the ranch hands pulled up in the pickup she then truned to them... i gatherd my self up cocked the pistol and waited for my shot... she backed off the pickup truck just long enuff for me to take aim at her head... i fired.... it made her madder then she came back at me!!! i was half runnin away from her tryin to take aim and shoot i shot 1 more time.. i have no clue wher i hit.. she just shook her head and kept on comming...... It then dawned on me i had to be running short of bullits in this 6 shooter and i aint been keepin count. i came to the gate i went to jump over....... I missed!!!!! i knew then i had to turn and face this ragin bovine.... she got about 3 feet awat from me... i fired my LAST shot... she dropped at my feet.

I dont know if it was the adrenlene that made her this way..but that animal was plum crazy.. she was just out to git somebody.. and prolly the truth be known.. she prolly woulda lived anyway.. But this is the one and only time i ever had the chance to do what so many people wish they coulda done.. SHOOT A CHARGIN COW... but i did take a beatin.. i was just as bloody afterwards as if i had been shot myself

after all that.. we dint butcher her at all... she was coyote bait

as for that .38 short barreld pistol...... i traded it off for a pair of chinks the first sucker i found