Movie title game
- Thread starter Jigger Boss
- Start date
Help Support Ranchers.net:
gcreekrch
Well-known member
Gosh. How does any work get done when so many "Scary Movies" are being watched?
Remember those Cowboys?
Here's a little short story about them:
It seems that, like many young men in their day and time, The Cowboys heard the Call Of The Wild life and as they got older they were unable to resist the lure of cheap thrills and easy money via a life of crime. Apparently, each one fancied himself a real Hombre and they thought that through their new lifestyle they were Bound For Glory. So, with Blazing Saddles, off they went, engaging in all manner of lawlessness throughout the west, wreaking havoc on the citizens of many towns, such as Dodge City, Laramie, Tombstone, Cimarron and countless others. Now, there were twelve of these Cowboys and as news of their misdeeds spread the townsfolk throughout the west began to refer to them as The Dirty Dozen. The leaders of many of the towns realized that combating The Cowboys was not a job for shopkeepers and farmers, but rather one for The Professionals. Consequently, they offered generous rewards for the capture of the boys and at various times tried to enlist the services of noteworthy peace officers such as Wyatt Earp, Big Jake, Destry, The Lone Ranger, The Man Who Killed Liberty Valance and even Cahill, US Marshall. In each case the citizenry encouraged the law to shoot first and ask questions later and to Hang 'Em High if caught, just like in The Oxbow Incident. But those efforts were always to no avail, as it seems that any time the law got close the boys would practically vanish from sight, seemingly Gone With The Wind.
Come to think of it, they actually did get caught one time by a cantankerous so-called peace officer, along with a guy called The Plainsman, but they were released without trial, since "money talks". However, you'll have to read about that little incident in a book titled The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean (or let our own Lilly tell the story).
The list of their criminal activities seems almost endless and a few examples follow:
Once they joined a group called The Wild Bunch and attempted to steal McKenna's Gold as it was being transported in The War Wagon. Another time they joined The Long Riders and participated in The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid. They also traveled to the far northern plains, The Big Country, and stole cattle from The Cattle Queen Of Montana. Still another time they traveled down into Mexico, as far south as Veracruz, and subsequently tried to steal The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre. They just missed out on the Gunfight At The OK Corral, where they surely would have joined with Ike Clanton and his men, but were unavailable since they had caught The Last Train From Gun Hill.
Now, of course, The Cowboys really liked the fairer sex and they frequently found time to join the gals for stimulating conversation and other enjoyable activities, often visiting the ladies of The Cheyenne Social Club; other times they'd ride over to patronize the ladies employed by McCabe And Mrs. Miller; and naturally, when in Texas they frequented The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas.
After a number of years terrorizing the western states, they decided that the pickings would be really easy back east, so they decided to head out for Shenandoah. But before doing so, they wanted to pay one last visit to their old boss and mentor from the days of their youth, mister Chisum (whom they affectionately referred to as Father Goose, although the historical accounts shed no light as to how they came up with such an unusual moniker for him). After regaling him with the tales of their exploits mister Chisum told them how deeply disappointed he was in them. You see, Chisum was among The Rare Breed of men in the old west that was rough and tough but was also a law abiding, deeply moral man. He told them that he had always known they were mischievous little scalawags, but had earlier assumed that they were just Angels With Dirty Faces. He added that now, it seemed to him, they were just Dirty Rotten Scoundrels that were no better than The Carpetbaggers that went south after the war and they were surely on The Road To Perdition. Also, that it almost seemed like they all had a Death Wish and that when they were finally caught the law would turn them Every Which Way But Loose! He tried mightily to persuade them to give up their evil ways, urging them to be The Way We Were, Once Upon A Time In The West and that the best thing for them to do was to immediately cease their criminal activities, repent and start to follow The Ten Commandments. (Chisum had of course been greatly influenced by his deeply religious friend, Henry Tunstall). Some of the boys were noticeably contemplative, figuring that if they continued with all their Dangerous Liaisons they would surely be headed down The River Of No Return, but others were still defiant. One of them, a particularly brash young man named Nevada Smith (who was derisively called Little Big Man by the others, due to his short stature) urged his companions to continue with their criminal ways, saying "come on boys, these are The Best Years Of Our Lives, so let's really live them. When some Lawman finally gets us at least everybody will say The Died With Their Boots On".
But hope springs eternal (some would say that Hope Floats) and one by one this group of Misfits, dwelling on Chisum's admonishments, began to have Awakenings of both Body And Soul. Soon thereafter, to a man, they did in fact completely change their ways and in effect became a Band Of Angels.
The End :lol:
Here's a little short story about them:
It seems that, like many young men in their day and time, The Cowboys heard the Call Of The Wild life and as they got older they were unable to resist the lure of cheap thrills and easy money via a life of crime. Apparently, each one fancied himself a real Hombre and they thought that through their new lifestyle they were Bound For Glory. So, with Blazing Saddles, off they went, engaging in all manner of lawlessness throughout the west, wreaking havoc on the citizens of many towns, such as Dodge City, Laramie, Tombstone, Cimarron and countless others. Now, there were twelve of these Cowboys and as news of their misdeeds spread the townsfolk throughout the west began to refer to them as The Dirty Dozen. The leaders of many of the towns realized that combating The Cowboys was not a job for shopkeepers and farmers, but rather one for The Professionals. Consequently, they offered generous rewards for the capture of the boys and at various times tried to enlist the services of noteworthy peace officers such as Wyatt Earp, Big Jake, Destry, The Lone Ranger, The Man Who Killed Liberty Valance and even Cahill, US Marshall. In each case the citizenry encouraged the law to shoot first and ask questions later and to Hang 'Em High if caught, just like in The Oxbow Incident. But those efforts were always to no avail, as it seems that any time the law got close the boys would practically vanish from sight, seemingly Gone With The Wind.
Come to think of it, they actually did get caught one time by a cantankerous so-called peace officer, along with a guy called The Plainsman, but they were released without trial, since "money talks". However, you'll have to read about that little incident in a book titled The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean (or let our own Lilly tell the story).
The list of their criminal activities seems almost endless and a few examples follow:
Once they joined a group called The Wild Bunch and attempted to steal McKenna's Gold as it was being transported in The War Wagon. Another time they joined The Long Riders and participated in The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid. They also traveled to the far northern plains, The Big Country, and stole cattle from The Cattle Queen Of Montana. Still another time they traveled down into Mexico, as far south as Veracruz, and subsequently tried to steal The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre. They just missed out on the Gunfight At The OK Corral, where they surely would have joined with Ike Clanton and his men, but were unavailable since they had caught The Last Train From Gun Hill.
Now, of course, The Cowboys really liked the fairer sex and they frequently found time to join the gals for stimulating conversation and other enjoyable activities, often visiting the ladies of The Cheyenne Social Club; other times they'd ride over to patronize the ladies employed by McCabe And Mrs. Miller; and naturally, when in Texas they frequented The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas.
After a number of years terrorizing the western states, they decided that the pickings would be really easy back east, so they decided to head out for Shenandoah. But before doing so, they wanted to pay one last visit to their old boss and mentor from the days of their youth, mister Chisum (whom they affectionately referred to as Father Goose, although the historical accounts shed no light as to how they came up with such an unusual moniker for him). After regaling him with the tales of their exploits mister Chisum told them how deeply disappointed he was in them. You see, Chisum was among The Rare Breed of men in the old west that was rough and tough but was also a law abiding, deeply moral man. He told them that he had always known they were mischievous little scalawags, but had earlier assumed that they were just Angels With Dirty Faces. He added that now, it seemed to him, they were just Dirty Rotten Scoundrels that were no better than The Carpetbaggers that went south after the war and they were surely on The Road To Perdition. Also, that it almost seemed like they all had a Death Wish and that when they were finally caught the law would turn them Every Which Way But Loose! He tried mightily to persuade them to give up their evil ways, urging them to be The Way We Were, Once Upon A Time In The West and that the best thing for them to do was to immediately cease their criminal activities, repent and start to follow The Ten Commandments. (Chisum had of course been greatly influenced by his deeply religious friend, Henry Tunstall). Some of the boys were noticeably contemplative, figuring that if they continued with all their Dangerous Liaisons they would surely be headed down The River Of No Return, but others were still defiant. One of them, a particularly brash young man named Nevada Smith (who was derisively called Little Big Man by the others, due to his short stature) urged his companions to continue with their criminal ways, saying "come on boys, these are The Best Years Of Our Lives, so let's really live them. When some Lawman finally gets us at least everybody will say The Died With Their Boots On".
But hope springs eternal (some would say that Hope Floats) and one by one this group of Misfits, dwelling on Chisum's admonishments, began to have Awakenings of both Body And Soul. Soon thereafter, to a man, they did in fact completely change their ways and in effect became a Band Of Angels.
The End :lol:
burnt
Well-known member
:clap: :clap: :clap:
That was the most movieing tale I have read in quite a while! :wink:
That was the most movieing tale I have read in quite a while! :wink:
Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
I hate to be "The Devils Advocate" but that short story was"Kickin' It Old School" 
Jigger Boss
Well-known member
Great story JBB, but do you know how the Cowboys made out in "Purgatory"?
Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
Jigger Boss said:
"The Devil in a Blue dress" praticed "Catch and Release"
gcreekrch
Well-known member
And soon, one of them, "Harry, Met Sally"
Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
Did the rest of them meet "White chicks?"
burnt
Well-known member
Sorry folks, it went sour because they met the "Men in Black".
Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
But they are "Consenting Adults
burnt
Well-known member
who were on "the Last Crusade" . . .
gcreekrch
Well-known member
and going "Back TO School"
Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
to "Face the Music" in "Mystery, Alaska"
leanin' H
Well-known member
Then they took a trip on "Tequilla sunrise" which was fun until they encountered a "Lethal Weapon" carried by a "Patriot" who needed a "Ransom" to help out the boys fighting with "Braveheart"!
burnt
Well-known member
for "Saving Private Ryan".
burnt
Well-known member
Was the weapon a "Running Blade" or a "Sling Blade"?
