My husband is pretty shy also. Me, I never met a stranger. So we are opposites and in more ways than one. Once my husband makes a friend, he never loses him/her. He is very loyal and has helped me to see how I come across to others. (I always know I have their best interests at heart. Sometimes I know this when they don't.) Anyway, my husband has taught me to see things from others prospective. It is okay to have someone's best interests at heart only when it is okay with them. I am like a bull in a china closet and he has helped temper that somewhat.
In other words, "Smart people don't need advice, stupid people won't take it." I have been perhaps a 'little too helpful' at times. Our grandson has this same quality. Causes him a little trouble in school. He only means to help, but the teacher doesn't always appreciate his help.... :wink:
The story I wish to relate here about shyness, has to do with my brother-in-law. He was so shy, he was almost backward. When I was dating my husband and would go out to their ranch, the brother would go sit on the corral until I left. Anyway, he got married to a wrench of a girl. She made his life totally miserable. In finding how to deal with her, he found God. God strengthened him in so many ways. The marriage didn't last, though he knows he did everything he possibly could to make it last. When he learned through the Bible how man is to be in a marriage, and started doing those things, she didn't like it one bit. You cannot imagine the horror she created for him and the kids. (I have truly thought at times she is a child of the devil.) Anyhow, they divorced. Today he has so much strength that he preaches the Word of God when a pastor is gone. He sings in the choir, plays a guitar, etc. When his uncle passed away in Wyoming last June, he preached the funeral services. His progression has been a wonderful thing to see. Had I not seen it for myself through the years, I doubt if I would believe it was possible that he could get up in front of a room full of people and speak.
So, nr, you are correct in that we can change the way we are. Something tramatic has to happen to make us want to change, I believe. But we can, with God's help.