Nicky
Well-known member
We'll be waiting anxiously to hear how it went today!
Question for the Ranch Wives
- Thread starter I Luv Herfrds
- Start date
Good point, nr! I will say in defense of the 'guilty' that often that belief of "city folks don't welcome visitors with food, meals, etc. probably comes from experience.........BUT.......the 'experience' is probably NOT representative of 'city folks'.........just from a narrow frame of experience with a miniscule number of city folks, and not representative of the genus.
I L H, does the poor fool....ooops!.... guy.....have kids? If so, and they are of whatever age, they need help! Maybe literally if she really is a gold digger. However, to err on the side of kindness, maybe you or another person needs to either take her aside and explain the facts of (rural) life, or take him aside and explain the facts of his kids best interests (no matter their age if they are grown and have any interest in that ranch) and his ranch survival! After that,it looks like there isn't much besides prayers that will help.
mrj
I L H, does the poor fool....ooops!.... guy.....have kids? If so, and they are of whatever age, they need help! Maybe literally if she really is a gold digger. However, to err on the side of kindness, maybe you or another person needs to either take her aside and explain the facts of (rural) life, or take him aside and explain the facts of his kids best interests (no matter their age if they are grown and have any interest in that ranch) and his ranch survival! After that,it looks like there isn't much besides prayers that will help.
mrj
Kato
Well-known member
Is your friend aware of this? If so, is he embarrased? Perhaps after the first romantic period passes for this couple he'll wake up and have a talk with her, especially if he notices his friends drifting. Just being optimistic here.
I grew up in the city, I admit it. Spent a very large amount of time as a kid at Cowzilla's though, where I learned what big tasty work crew meals were.
Meals for guests were always a part of the culture when I was growing up, even in the city. But then again, my parents had rural roots, so to speak. I find now though that when we go in to the city to visit various friends and relatives that a meal at a restaurant is the norm. Home cooked only happens on special holidays, and then it often involves..... horror of horrors. :shock: :shock: :shock: Stove top stuffing in the turkey!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
I grew up in the city, I admit it. Spent a very large amount of time as a kid at Cowzilla's though, where I learned what big tasty work crew meals were.
Meals for guests were always a part of the culture when I was growing up, even in the city. But then again, my parents had rural roots, so to speak. I find now though that when we go in to the city to visit various friends and relatives that a meal at a restaurant is the norm. Home cooked only happens on special holidays, and then it often involves..... horror of horrors. :shock: :shock: :shock: Stove top stuffing in the turkey!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: I Luv Herfrds
Well-known member
Got home a little while ago. Had to take a shower right away, I was working at chute next to the vet. Splattered with cow crap from the top of my hat to the tip of my shoes. :lol:
Well when I got there at noon the riders were bringing in the last of the cows. Found out that our friend and his gf were out til 2 am partying.
Went into the kitchen and there was a large walmart cold meat platter, rolls and chips. :shock: That was lunch. Didn't tell him that I brought a hot meal til a little while later.
The guys who were there were very apprecative. A few of them even told me that they would take a hot meal over a cold lunch any day.
Went out with our friend to bait in the corral the last of the cows. Got to talking with him and told him I had brought lunch. He asked me why and I told him because last time there was nothing to eat. Told him how the gf never offered us anything to eat until he came in the house. He said there is alot of tension between myself and the gf. Told him that was no excuse to not at least offer my daughter something to eat.
Told him this is the last time I would bring anything over to eat. He asked why. I told him that I was not the only person insulted by her kitchen b*tch remark and I was not going to feed his work crews just so she could be lazy. He was shocked and I pointed out to him that there were no other wives out there. That I was the only one. She had made her remark to all the rest and there is no way any of them are coming back to help him as long as she is there. So far I am the only friend he has; pardon the expression; with a set of balls to tell him the truth.
Took us over 5 hours to work his cows and calves. No the gf was not much help. She just walked around with a hot shot in one hand and my prod pole in the other. We had to keep yelling for her to get over by the chute and make a cow move forward. She was always talking or doing something else. At one point after the vet yelled 3 times for something to get a cow to move I walked up to her and snatched my pole out of her hand and told her to either get to work or get the h*ll out of the way. She left for a couple hours after that. Found out she took a nap.
After she came back she was still standing around just talking and barely doing anything. Between the vet and myself we both pretty steamed by the end of it all. Really didn't help when she finally did give one of the cows a poke with the hot shot, she just didn't know when to stop. We had one cow get on the fight big time and just about jump out of the squeeze chute.
It was pretty warm today, those 4 of us on the chute kept asking for water and the lazy gf wouldn't go and get us any.
Well kato after my pointing out that the ranch wives want nothing to do with her I could see that he was embarrased.
mrj he has 6 kids. The oldest will be 16 on the 8th and the youngest is 4. The only talk I want to give her is to hit the road and never come back. I have been watching this for almost a year and the more I see and learn about her as a person the more I have come to not trust and flat out hate her. I tried the kindness, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be her doormat. She dumps his kids on any person she can. I know beacuse she did it to me at the fair.
I did try to give her a chance, but anybody who has ever had their "gut instinct" kick in and tell you something, you learn to listen to it. Well mine kicked in the first night I met her at his place and it hasn't stopped since.
I know from what he has told me and others have told me, she gets extermely abusive when she is drunk and mad. I just got that feeling she is going to go from verbal to physical the next time she gets drunk and mad at him.
:lol: Well when I got there at noon the riders were bringing in the last of the cows. Found out that our friend and his gf were out til 2 am partying.
Went into the kitchen and there was a large walmart cold meat platter, rolls and chips. :shock: That was lunch. Didn't tell him that I brought a hot meal til a little while later.
The guys who were there were very apprecative. A few of them even told me that they would take a hot meal over a cold lunch any day.
Went out with our friend to bait in the corral the last of the cows. Got to talking with him and told him I had brought lunch. He asked me why and I told him because last time there was nothing to eat. Told him how the gf never offered us anything to eat until he came in the house. He said there is alot of tension between myself and the gf. Told him that was no excuse to not at least offer my daughter something to eat.
Told him this is the last time I would bring anything over to eat. He asked why. I told him that I was not the only person insulted by her kitchen b*tch remark and I was not going to feed his work crews just so she could be lazy. He was shocked and I pointed out to him that there were no other wives out there. That I was the only one. She had made her remark to all the rest and there is no way any of them are coming back to help him as long as she is there. So far I am the only friend he has; pardon the expression; with a set of balls to tell him the truth.
Took us over 5 hours to work his cows and calves. No the gf was not much help. She just walked around with a hot shot in one hand and my prod pole in the other. We had to keep yelling for her to get over by the chute and make a cow move forward. She was always talking or doing something else. At one point after the vet yelled 3 times for something to get a cow to move I walked up to her and snatched my pole out of her hand and told her to either get to work or get the h*ll out of the way. She left for a couple hours after that. Found out she took a nap.
After she came back she was still standing around just talking and barely doing anything. Between the vet and myself we both pretty steamed by the end of it all. Really didn't help when she finally did give one of the cows a poke with the hot shot, she just didn't know when to stop. We had one cow get on the fight big time and just about jump out of the squeeze chute.
It was pretty warm today, those 4 of us on the chute kept asking for water and the lazy gf wouldn't go and get us any.
Well kato after my pointing out that the ranch wives want nothing to do with her I could see that he was embarrased.
mrj he has 6 kids. The oldest will be 16 on the 8th and the youngest is 4. The only talk I want to give her is to hit the road and never come back. I have been watching this for almost a year and the more I see and learn about her as a person the more I have come to not trust and flat out hate her. I tried the kindness, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be her doormat. She dumps his kids on any person she can. I know beacuse she did it to me at the fair.
I did try to give her a chance, but anybody who has ever had their "gut instinct" kick in and tell you something, you learn to listen to it. Well mine kicked in the first night I met her at his place and it hasn't stopped since.
I know from what he has told me and others have told me, she gets extermely abusive when she is drunk and mad. I just got that feeling she is going to go from verbal to physical the next time she gets drunk and mad at him.
My heart just breaks for his kids. A neighbor's a neighbor, and you may need their help someday! Help them in the future BUT pack a lunch or enough snacks to get by ! We ALWAYS feed our help, sometimes not the best or the most but they always are fed. Maybe the neighbor doesn't know the gf didn't offer any??
burnt
Well-known member
I Luv Herfrds, he is a lucky man to have a neighbour like you. I think you went the second mile there and now it's up to him to take the right steps before he ruins his kid's lives, too. You are solid gold for doing and saying the things you did. I'm sure it wasn't fun or easy but you did it. You go girl.
rustynail
Well-known member
ilh......glad you got a set
not everybody can be bold enough to just tell it like it really is, for fear of hurting someones feelings. you really are a good friend to this fella and maybe one day he will realize it and come back and tell you that you were right. i sure do feel sorry for those kids, not being nosey but what happened to their mama? sounds like this fella has his hands full and out partying til 2 am with six kids at home is not a responsible dad at all.
good luck with it
G3
not everybody can be bold enough to just tell it like it really is, for fear of hurting someones feelings. you really are a good friend to this fella and maybe one day he will realize it and come back and tell you that you were right. i sure do feel sorry for those kids, not being nosey but what happened to their mama? sounds like this fella has his hands full and out partying til 2 am with six kids at home is not a responsible dad at all.
good luck with it
G3
nmhighdesert
Well-known member
just a note on "city" gals
I used to neighbor a fella who had a girl friend from town. He was the issue, she would feed us anytime we stopped by, and was hurt if we didn't stay. She was the good part of that outfit. One spring several years ago, he called me in a panic. She had taken off and left him, he calls and says
" I cant take it, can you watch my cows for a few days?. And he says, there are 40 or so heifers in the pen closest to the barn, they just started calving"........ so I took care of his stuff for him too....for 7 days. She finally came back to him. I feel bad for her. I have since sold and moved but still hear from her time to time. Nothing has changed. I was just thinking that the city folk stereotype is similar to the sodbuster stereotype.......they are not all of them bad :lol: :lol: :!:
I used to neighbor a fella who had a girl friend from town. He was the issue, she would feed us anytime we stopped by, and was hurt if we didn't stay. She was the good part of that outfit. One spring several years ago, he called me in a panic. She had taken off and left him, he calls and says
" I cant take it, can you watch my cows for a few days?. And he says, there are 40 or so heifers in the pen closest to the barn, they just started calving"........ so I took care of his stuff for him too....for 7 days. She finally came back to him. I feel bad for her. I have since sold and moved but still hear from her time to time. Nothing has changed. I was just thinking that the city folk stereotype is similar to the sodbuster stereotype.......they are not all of them bad :lol: :lol: :!:
gcreekrch
Well-known member
ILH, you did the right thing. This old world would be a lot better place if we all said what we meant and meant what we said.
If your friend is any kind of a good soul at all he will eventually realize that you said what you did because you care. Good on you.
If your friend is any kind of a good soul at all he will eventually realize that you said what you did because you care. Good on you.
I Luv Herfrds
Well-known member
rustynail she died from a brain anyurism. My husband grew up with her.
The kids know I don't like the gf and I don't talk to them about her. I don't want them in the middle.
The men talk about how they don't like her either and when I ask if they have told him they say no.
chugcreek we have been going to help him for 17 years. He always comes and helps us. I just don't want the gf in my home.
The kids know I don't like the gf and I don't talk to them about her. I don't want them in the middle.
The men talk about how they don't like her either and when I ask if they have told him they say no.
chugcreek we have been going to help him for 17 years. He always comes and helps us. I just don't want the gf in my home.
Kato
Well-known member
I bet your straight talk has started him thinking. That's the first step, but the rest is really up to him.
Good for you for speaking up. He'll look back on it someday and be glad he has a friend who is concerned enough for his well being that they would risk rocking the boat.
Good for you for speaking up. He'll look back on it someday and be glad he has a friend who is concerned enough for his well being that they would risk rocking the boat.
rustynail
Well-known member
really feel sorry for those kids, loosing their mom and now in a way loosing their dad also. a good woman is hard to find but one that will step in and be a mom and be accepted by the kids and be a ranch wife could almost be asking too much. but this fella aint gonna find a wife in the bars at 2 am either. i pray for that family espicially those kids.
denny i got four teenage girls and i know what you mean. work a full time job of owning my own business wich is way more than 8 hours a day, farming on the side, four kids into sports and then just home life. keeps me out of the party life thats for sure :lol:
ilh you are way more the better person.
G3
denny i got four teenage girls and i know what you mean. work a full time job of owning my own business wich is way more than 8 hours a day, farming on the side, four kids into sports and then just home life. keeps me out of the party life thats for sure :lol:
ilh you are way more the better person.
G3
i was reading this post and found i got hungry thinking of food , anyways the place i work on when ever we are not on the home place , at a sale barn or at summer pasture the boss either buys or his wife makes us our meals, when i had my own little outfit , id invite everyone over for breakfast,bacon eggs, sausge, biscuts and gravy, roastbeef hash, fried potatoes and onions with red and green peppers in em coffe or oj and once in awhile id make a peach cobbler for breakfast in my dutch oven, i was told some of the wives were jealous of my breakfast, but hay , you ask for help you need to thank your help , i also had some cold cold cold adult beverages ready for the end of the day, after reading this , i made my mind up when its time to look for a new job i want to know what the vittles are like , sack lunches are fine by me, steaks are awesome too , i read fried chicken a few times too and pizza also ............. whos cooking and where do i sign up
kathydavis
Member
i'm not a city girl i was raised on a small farm as a child no one left hungry when we we're working. now i have a bigger ranch and no one leaves hungry when they work at my place it has nothing to do with whether you are from the city or country guys. i hate to say it but my generation is just plain lazy. most of them live off welfare and don't now an honest day work. yea i think i would have to say something to her as a matter of fact her butt would be out in the field helping. if she wants to live on a ranch cleaning house isn't all there is. i work in the house and in the field plus run a seperate company. not that i'm bragging. it all goes back to how you raise your kids.