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Sayings..

T

TimH

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
1,421
Location
Southwest Manitoba
I'm a fan of local or regional sayings. I'm not sure if metaphore or simile is the right word for it(perhaps a cunning linguist, such as reader(the second) could enlighten a 'tard like me on it)....
Here is what I mean....

Nervous... As a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.
Busy....... As a set of jumper cables at a (insert your favorite racial slur here) funeral.
Ugly...... She looked like someone had taken a logging chain and sewed a dog's a$$ shut with it.
Smooth..... As a Nun's tit.
Slippery... As 2 slugs f'ing in a pail of snot.

I'm sorry if some find these sayings offensive but I'd be interested to hear some more..... I get a kick out of them. :D
 
Busier... than a one legged man in an arse kickin' contest
slippery.... as snot on a doorknob
darker... than the inside of a black cow with her tail nailed down
dumber.... than 5 miles of dirt road
slicker... than sh!t through a tin horn
ugly.... looks like she/he chased a fart through a keg of nails
jumpy... as a one eyed gopher in a cactus patch
 
"well butter my butt and call me a biscuit" is just a Sayin not a metaphor but it sure makes ya giggle :)
 
Slower than -- molasses in January
Colder than -- brass b*lls on a monkey
Drier than -- a popcorn fart
 
Wilder than a june hare...????
Quicker than greased lightening.
Dumber than a box of rocks.
Smarter than a fence post.
She was butt ugly.
Smarter than the average bear.
Did someone say slicker than snot on a door knob?
Like a fart in a skillet.
 
Three fries short of a happy meal-
Lights are on, but nobodies home-
As crooked as the hind leg on a dog-
Lower than snake sh%t in a tire track-
Tighter than bark on a tree-
Slower than a Ford (just made that one up)
 
Southern sayings
--------------------
A good attitude is like Kudzu - it spreads.
Wild as a peach orchard hog.
So buck toothed he could eat corn-on-the-cob through a key hole.
Slick as an eel.
Slicker than a chased greased hog.
Full as a tick.
Fat as a tub o lard.
Ol' boy's tough as whit leather.
He ran like a scalded dog.
Rough as a cob.
Just as happy as if he had good sense.
Cold as a well digger's tail.
So dull he couldn't cut hot butter with a knife.
Crazier than a run over dog.
Tougher than a one eared alley cat.
Scared my mule ( when something really startled them )
Faster than greased lightning.
Better than snuff, ain't half as dusty.
She's limber as a dishrag.
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rocking chairs.
So ugly she'd run a dog off a meat wagon.
Took off like Moody's goose.
As scarce as hen's teeth.
Purty as a speckled pup.
Done gone and got yankee rich.
Sorry as a two dollar watch.
So poor he'd have to borrow moeny to buy water to cry with.
Plumb tuckered out.
Older than the mountains and got twice as much dust.
That's a gracious plenty ( when being offered something)
In all my born days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dumb as...
...a bag of hammers.
...a box of rocks.
...a box of hair.
Not the...
...sharpest stick in the pile.
...sharpest tool in the drawer.
...brightest bulb in the batch.
...roundest wheel on the bike.
------------------------------------------------------------
The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
Nuttier than a fruitcake at Christmas.
Nuttier than a tree full of squirrels.
If stupid were oil, you'd have caribou grazing on your scalp.

So stupid s/he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel."
 
From my fathewr, when I was a little kid.

Tighter than a boars ash sewed up with a chain.

Blacker than coaley's a--hole. :shock:

So dumb, he couldn't pour p--- out of a boot. :shock:

Kind'a had a bad mouth, didn't he? :shock:

Never thought of it before, but he had some real colorful language. :lol:
 
Ugly - - Looked like someone started a fire in their face and put it out with a rake!

Cesspool of Stupidy and Ignorance

"Deliberately Dense"

"This Millennium or Next"

"Fugitive form a Dung Pile"

Colder than -- brass b*lls on a monkey

Origin
(Sea going Naval Term)
Brass Cannon Balls Stacked on Deck
The Monkey is the Indented Plate That Held Them

Bottom = the Monkey
Bottom Terr = 3x3x3 to = 6 Cannon Balls
Second Terr = 3 Cannon Balls
Third Terr = 1 Cannon Ball
Total = 10 Stacked Cannon Balls
 
A recent survey done by
marriage experts shows
that the most common
form of marriage proposal
these days consists of the
words: "You're what?!?"

10 million "unknown authors"
 
Darker than a well diggers ash in the Klondike's.
Colder than a witches titty in a brass braw in the Klondike's.
Hotter than a 2 bit phor on Saturday night in the Klondike's.
Meanest white woman in Alabama. (My X wife)
 
Couple of sandwichs short of a picknic

Few feathers short of a duck

Dumber than a red brick(tho why a red brick was dumber than a grey one...)

Elevater don't go to the top
 
when someone is in big trouble: they have a lot of log chain to swim the river with.
Hungry as a she wolf with 9 pups.
Hot as blue blazes
when someone has big trouble they have a long row to hoe.
Easy as a mothers love
hard as chinese math
sweating like I'm getting married
sweating like a(insert your favorite ethnic group) trying to read.
ugly as a mud fence
crooked as a barrell of snakes
honest as the day is long
it'd take the kings ransom to buy (something expensive)
common as a pig track
tend to your own knitting
sweep your own door step
shaking like a red headed go-go dancer
long as a sailors dream
nervous as a whore in church
gone like a theif in the night
she's a burger too big
skinny as a rail
 
nervous as a whore in church.

so ugly, she could make a freight train take a dirt road.

fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

finer than a frogs hair split 4 ways.

is a frogs ash water tight?

he don't have all his dogs barkin

colder than santa's nuts on Christmas eve.

she's so easy, she spreads like peanut butter.

dryer than a popcorn fart.
 
Drive it like you stole it.

Seems alot of these sayings posted are universal, most of what I know is already posted on here.
 

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