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SISTERDALE TEXAS

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HAY MAKER

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It's true ,there is a canuckle head in sisterdale,it got to hot to be patching fence ,and being caught up on my baling. I got spruced up and headed for the water hole,as soon as I sat down I could tell some thing was going on,Ole elmo had the damndest smirk on his face and was looking at the rest of the boys,and every one was smiling but not saying a word.

About that time the bar maid brought every body a round, I noticed her smiling at elmo which she never does,but that's a long story for another time.About the time I got her paid my eyes adjusted to the dimly lighted bar room and I spotted him. I did'nt even have to ask,he stood out like a sore thumb,bout 5foot tall ,big around as he was tall,big ole Texas belt buckle and the sharpest pointed toed boots I ever seen,wrangler's bout 4 inches to short and pulled up in the crack of his ass. Just to be sure I asked elmo,who is that boy? Its that canuckle head I been teling you about he sez,well he is gonna have to wait till later cause what happened next amazed even me.
She came out of the Ladies room,and she was a knockout,now IM interested ,elmo who in the hell is that and what is she doing in here with some thing like that?Her names Carol and she is the canuckle heads sister elmo said,well so much for plan "A" I gotta think about this a while.How do you know her name and why have you been keeping this lil secret from your best friend?Hey I been telling you there was a canuckle head in town,dont blame me if you rather build fence than socialize,besides we all figgered you were busy on the "computer" give it a break elmo and ask em to come over and join us
.I tell you this Lady moved like something sisterdale aint never seen,as she sat down she smiled ,and elmo introduced us.
Big blue eyes, blonde and a divorcee in her late thirties to maybe early fourties,and very friendly.
We all had a good time and her and I got to know each other better,come to find out she is from the Quebec area and readily admitts to being a canadian big butted hussie that as she put it" all the french a TX cowboy can handle". .And I have to agree ,that girl started licking my ears,and my knee's got weak,almost fell down on the dance floor.And if you are wondering what this has to do with R CALF and the border dispute,All I can say is good thing the CCA ,did'nt see this because all they would have to do is get a few ladies like that in a R CALF meeting licking ears,every body there, would vote OPEN ER UP".......................good luck PS I told you I like canuckle heads,I told them the story about calling old tam big butted and about old bitter northern rancher, we all got a big laugh outta it and I believe ole elmo is guffawing yet
 

Denny

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your so full of ****. what is in your koolaid?
 

TXTibbs

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DOWN BOY....DOWN!!!

how many "rounds" did you have Hay Maker.........remember the more you drink the prettier the ladies get! HAHA. You should of had someone take a photo so you could verify the facts when you sobered up! She was prolly really a 73 year old oriental woman with 5 teeth, bad feet and long stringy gray hair..........

haha...just kidding. :lol2: :cowboy:
 

Shelly

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Holy Lord, Haymaker, what would your wife do to you if she found out what you've been up to???? Shame on you! :lol:
 
A

Anonymous

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I wonder if Hay Maker and the guy that write the Longarm western smut book series are one in the same? :D
 

redriver

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the real jake said:
I wonder if Hay Maker and the guy that write the Longarm western smut book series are one in the same? :D

Nah, he's just some ugly old fart getting ready for a date with the 'palm sisters'. He's too much of a loser to have a real women look at him, especially once they heard what comes out of his ignorant mouth.
 

fedup2

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Hey! Its his story & he can tell it anyway he wants to! LOL! Why wouldn't a guy tell the story about himself being the hero & the woman being beautiful? Geeze! If you don't like the stories, you always have the option to skip them!

redriver, you are suffering from a severe case of rectal-cranial inversion! This is what is causing your optical-rectumitis or crappy outlook on life!
Put both hands on your knees and push as hard as you can. When you hear a loud poping sound, things will be much clearer for you!
 

Manitoba_Rancher

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I think Haymaker must have got into some of the good Canadian Whiskey and he started having visions........ :wink: :nod: :nod: :lol2:
 
A

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Big Muddy rancher said:
reader (the Second) said:
Storytelling is a lost art and it was a good story.


reader it's called a FAIRY TALE :roll: :cowboy:

I'm envious- I was in a waterhole yesterday 50 miles from the Canadian line and I couldn't find any blonde Canadian hussies- big or little butted :( Only one old fogie Canadian guy and one 1/2 the time Canadian cow buyer......
 

Beefman

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HAY MAKER said:
"]........I got spruced up and headed for the water hole......as soon as I sat down I could tell some thing was going on,Ole elmo had the damndest smirk on his face and was looking at the rest of the boys,and every one was smiling but not saying a word.........She came out of the Ladies room,and she was a knockout...........Her names Carol...........How do you know her name and why have you been keeping this lil secret from your best friend?................Big blue eyes, blonde and a divorcee in her late thirties to maybe early fourties,and very friendly..................And I have to agree ,that girl started licking my ears,and my knee's got weak,almost fell down on the dance floor..............

Hmmmmmmmmm........something doesn't sound quite right here. Do you remember that Moe Bandy / Joe Stampley song from the early 80's called "Where's the Dress"? Wasn't that song about a situation like this? Remember the line...."and then I swung her around a little to fast, and the wig fell off, and she was a he."

Sounds to me like Ole Elmo is quite the prankster Haymaker.

Beefman
 

HAY MAKER

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Beefman said:
HAY MAKER said:
"]........I got spruced up and headed for the water hole......as soon as I sat down I could tell some thing was going on,Ole elmo had the damndest smirk on his face and was looking at the rest of the boys,and every one was smiling but not saying a word.........She came out of the Ladies room,and she was a knockout...........Her names Carol...........How do you know her name and why have you been keeping this lil secret from your best friend?................Big blue eyes, blonde and a divorcee in her late thirties to maybe early fourties,and very friendly..................And I have to agree ,that girl started licking my ears,and my knee's got weak,almost fell down on the dance floor..............

Hmmmmmmmmm........something doesn't sound quite right here. Do you remember that Moe Bandy / Joe Stampley song from the early 80's called "Where's the Dress"? Wasn't that song about a situation like this? Remember the line...."and then I swung her around a little to fast, and the wig fell off, and she was a he."

Sounds to me like Ole Elmo is quite the prankster Haymaker.

Beefman


How dare you insinuate a pretty lil canadian hussie be anything but a woman especially with two small children,what are those packers doing to you up there,that make you insult one of Canada's finest?I'M begining to wonder about you beef girl, every time I read your posts you have men on your mind,would you please state your gender?And don't try any of this 50/50 stuff,being a packer employee doesnt give you the right to be male one day female the next...........good luck
 

USgal-In-Manitoba

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Wow! What an imagination! Hard to believe Haymaker.

What other types of stories can everyone come up with.....cant match this one!

Usgal~
 

Northern Rancher

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Hatstack couldn't handle a Canadian woman anyways-they only go for 'real' men not 'legends in their own mind'. Do you have an imaginary friend too-one who tells you how smart you are-maybe a Leo McDonnell bobblehead. What a wingnut!!!
 

jigs

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I am a bit lost here.....no one believes the story, but what is hard to believe?

1) Haymaker has a chance with a hot woman
2) a Canadian woman was in Texas
or
3) there are good looking women from Canada?
 

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