For those of you that may have missed the first episode I'll bring it out of the orginal thread to get you up to date.
Oh PLEEEAAASSSEEEE let me mwj
I see it going something like this
OIE board ............ok Oldtimer and Haymaker why are you here today?
Oldtimer ......... members of the OIE board we are here today to ask that you grant the much superior US cattle industry a more favorable BSE risk profile.
OIE board..........ok could the two of you explain in detail why the board should grant this more favorable profile ?
Oldtimer .......(Standing with a puffed out chest) Well you see I have years of looking at the evidence due to the fact I was in law enforcement in small town Montana for thirty years, and this is the way I read it. The US can't possibly be in the same risk category as Canada they have had 4 post feed ban positives. You have to grant us a more favorable risk category as we just can't be the same as Canada
OIE board...... What is your story Haymaker?
Haymaker .......( surprised they asked him as he was just there for support, to cheer Oldtimer on) Well I agree with my friend here we just can't be in the same risk category. you see our beef organization leader said so!!!
OIE board....... Who is you Beef organization
Oldtimer....... R-CALF USA ( again with the puffed out chest and proud as a peacock look on his face)
OIE board ....... Isn't that the organization that misreads the meaning of our guidelines. (Puzzled look on faces)
Oldtimer ....... (Clearing his throat) Well well lets get back to the reason we are here today. The evidence is we have only had two pre feed ban cases and Canada has had 4 post feed ban cases. That should tell you all that the US is less of a risk.
Haymaker..... And besides if Canada hadn't of put the spot light on North America nobody would have known about our two cases. (Double winking at all the board)
OIE board....... What do you mean Haymaker? ( intently looking for an explanation)
Oldtimer ...... ( worried look on face) can we get back to the fact Canada has had four post feed ban positives and we can't possibly be as large of a risk as they are.
OIE board...... ( shuffleing papers) I see by your letter here you claim to have 99% compliance to your feed ban and that you have claimed it effectively protected you from the spread of BSE. Do you have records to prove what you say?
Oldtimer...... Well our testing hasn't found any post feed ban positives has it, thats proof enough for us. (Oldtimer then winks at Haymaker)
Haymaker ........besides I read in the Washington post that we have the safest beef in the world raised to the highest Standards in the World, that has to tell you something doesn't it?( Haymaker winks back at Oldtimer)
One board member whispers to another board member..... Have you seen Broke Back Mountain (motioning with his eyes to Oldtimer and Haymaker. and snickers to himself)
OIE board......(Again shuffling papers) Well let us look at the investigations into your BSE cases we see here you never found the birthplace of the Alabama cow what do you have to say about that?
Oldtimer.....( with a all knowing look and thumbs poked into his suspenders) well you see not all states have a brand system but if it had happened in Montana I guarantee as a State Brand inspector we would have had the producer's name in no more than 6 to 8 weeks using our system that has never failed us in the past 100 years.
OIE board..... (Turning their attention to Haymaker who is distracted by the fan on the ceiling ) Since Haymaker is from Texas can you explain about the BSE cow in that State.
Haymaker........( quickly bring his one eye back down to look at the board while keeping the other on the spinning fan) which one do you mean your honor?
OIE board....... Do you mean there was more than one Texas cow with BSE? (looking puzzled and shuffling the papers in front of them)
Haymaker ....... (bringing both eyes to attention) not by our testing results thanks to the quick thinking of a Texan that discretely made a targeted cow disappear before samples could be taken!!! ( said with a big grin of pleasure on his face and another wink in Oldtimers direction )
Oldtimer......(motioning for Haymaker to zip it about the first Texas cow) can we please get back to what our record shows.
OIE board......( more paper shuffling) We see here that after the USDA negotiated a boneless meat deal with Korea, Korea rejected your first shipment due to bone chips what do you have to say about that?
Oldtimer......(quietly says to Haymaker) I think Creekstone was just trying to get something on the record to use in their case against you know who. (then another wink exchanges between the two)
Second Board member back to first board member... I see what you mean (laughing under his breath)
OIE Board ...... What do you mean?
Oldtimer......( surprised look) Did I just say that out loud, ( trying to distract attention from his comment) Please can we get back to the fact Canada has found 4 post feed ban positives.
OIE board. (again more paper shuffling) We see Japan re-ban your beef Why?
Haymaker..... (With a wink to the board) I guess that is what you get for being nice and sending them a little something extra in their boxes for Christmas.
Oldtimer.......( elbowing Haymaker and giggling like a little girl) Please can we get a back to why we are here.
Haymaker .....( With a very sober face) If I could your honors I would like to add that the BSE the US has is not the deadly kind Canada has, ours is BSE LITE.
OIE board....... I think we have heard enough let use talk between ourselves. ( while Oldtimer and Haymaker leave the room High fiving each other and patting each other on the back the two board members bust out laughing)
OIE chairmen look at the two and ask Please explain your behavior, after they explain, the whole board has a good laugh and call Oldtimer and Haymaker back in.
OIE board...... Here are our recommendations to take back to your industry. (With a very sober look on face)
1. If you want to claim 99% compliance of an effective feed ban, have records that prove it, we don't rule on Hear say.
2. Just because your testing hasn't found more BSE doesn't mean your feed ban was effective, it could mean the spot light may not have been bright enough to stop all the cheating that Haymaker hinted to. So go back and test the animals we recommended years ago with the right testing protocol.
3. do us all a favor and get to work on a National ID system that works as your investigations have proven your hit and miss 100 year old Brand system is not good enough if you want to trade in the global marketplace.
4. Get all your packers together in one place and teach them what countries will except what and that boneless means boneless even when you are trying to get something on the record. Why should other countries except ban product when all you are doing is trying to discredit your regulatory agency.
5. Please tell your leader again that our guidelines are not written in stone step by step rules they are just Guideline. and more importantly we have never said that trade with BSE affect countries should be ban. We said after a complete risk assessment is done trade should resume under certain conditions.
Now this is for you Oldtimer since you have a background in law enforcement and are a Montana Brand inspector we have two requests of you.
1. Please call Nebraska and South Dakota and use your 30 years of experience and talk to the packer, trucker, sale barn operator, and feedlot guy and get the truth out of them even if it takes you all of a couple of hours. Stop harassing the Canadians for something that may turn out to have nothing to do with them.
2. The next request might take a bit longer but we trust you are as trustworthy and honest as your voters thought and will do all you can. It is to go back to Montana and find your fellow R-CALF member that is continually sending misleading attention grabbing headlines to the US Congressmen and Senators. As we are tired of repeatedly correcting the information he is trying to use to further R-CALFs protectionist agenda. Please start with pointing out to this poor mislead man that there is not one shred of evidence that proves CJD is caused by eating Beef.
Thank you both for bringing your request to us BUT since your answers and the US records does not give us any confidence in your system our final suggestion to you is go back to the US and don't come back until you can stop blaming others for your problems and have done something about updating your antiquated beef industry so you can trade in a global marketplace without risking others lives. ( which is followed by a group wink to the two Broke down cowboys)
Curtains close on Oldtimer and Haymaker with hats in hand walking from the board room whispering....... What the H*** do they know we are US beef producers and Leo told us we have the safest beef in the world raised to the highest standards in the world, besides our friend Sandhusker has gone on recorded defending Leo's comments about the US maintaining standards that would stop any risk of BSE being introduced into the US beef herd and risking US consumers. They both can't be wrong. ( at this point they take each other by the hand and disappear into the mountains before returning to the US)
Oh PLEEEAAASSSEEEE let me mwj
I see it going something like this
OIE board ............ok Oldtimer and Haymaker why are you here today?
Oldtimer ......... members of the OIE board we are here today to ask that you grant the much superior US cattle industry a more favorable BSE risk profile.
OIE board..........ok could the two of you explain in detail why the board should grant this more favorable profile ?
Oldtimer .......(Standing with a puffed out chest) Well you see I have years of looking at the evidence due to the fact I was in law enforcement in small town Montana for thirty years, and this is the way I read it. The US can't possibly be in the same risk category as Canada they have had 4 post feed ban positives. You have to grant us a more favorable risk category as we just can't be the same as Canada
OIE board...... What is your story Haymaker?
Haymaker .......( surprised they asked him as he was just there for support, to cheer Oldtimer on) Well I agree with my friend here we just can't be in the same risk category. you see our beef organization leader said so!!!
OIE board....... Who is you Beef organization
Oldtimer....... R-CALF USA ( again with the puffed out chest and proud as a peacock look on his face)
OIE board ....... Isn't that the organization that misreads the meaning of our guidelines. (Puzzled look on faces)
Oldtimer ....... (Clearing his throat) Well well lets get back to the reason we are here today. The evidence is we have only had two pre feed ban cases and Canada has had 4 post feed ban cases. That should tell you all that the US is less of a risk.
Haymaker..... And besides if Canada hadn't of put the spot light on North America nobody would have known about our two cases. (Double winking at all the board)
OIE board....... What do you mean Haymaker? ( intently looking for an explanation)
Oldtimer ...... ( worried look on face) can we get back to the fact Canada has had four post feed ban positives and we can't possibly be as large of a risk as they are.
OIE board...... ( shuffleing papers) I see by your letter here you claim to have 99% compliance to your feed ban and that you have claimed it effectively protected you from the spread of BSE. Do you have records to prove what you say?
Oldtimer...... Well our testing hasn't found any post feed ban positives has it, thats proof enough for us. (Oldtimer then winks at Haymaker)
Haymaker ........besides I read in the Washington post that we have the safest beef in the world raised to the highest Standards in the World, that has to tell you something doesn't it?( Haymaker winks back at Oldtimer)
One board member whispers to another board member..... Have you seen Broke Back Mountain (motioning with his eyes to Oldtimer and Haymaker. and snickers to himself)
OIE board......(Again shuffling papers) Well let us look at the investigations into your BSE cases we see here you never found the birthplace of the Alabama cow what do you have to say about that?
Oldtimer.....( with a all knowing look and thumbs poked into his suspenders) well you see not all states have a brand system but if it had happened in Montana I guarantee as a State Brand inspector we would have had the producer's name in no more than 6 to 8 weeks using our system that has never failed us in the past 100 years.
OIE board..... (Turning their attention to Haymaker who is distracted by the fan on the ceiling ) Since Haymaker is from Texas can you explain about the BSE cow in that State.
Haymaker........( quickly bring his one eye back down to look at the board while keeping the other on the spinning fan) which one do you mean your honor?
OIE board....... Do you mean there was more than one Texas cow with BSE? (looking puzzled and shuffling the papers in front of them)
Haymaker ....... (bringing both eyes to attention) not by our testing results thanks to the quick thinking of a Texan that discretely made a targeted cow disappear before samples could be taken!!! ( said with a big grin of pleasure on his face and another wink in Oldtimers direction )
Oldtimer......(motioning for Haymaker to zip it about the first Texas cow) can we please get back to what our record shows.
OIE board......( more paper shuffling) We see here that after the USDA negotiated a boneless meat deal with Korea, Korea rejected your first shipment due to bone chips what do you have to say about that?
Oldtimer......(quietly says to Haymaker) I think Creekstone was just trying to get something on the record to use in their case against you know who. (then another wink exchanges between the two)
Second Board member back to first board member... I see what you mean (laughing under his breath)
OIE Board ...... What do you mean?
Oldtimer......( surprised look) Did I just say that out loud, ( trying to distract attention from his comment) Please can we get back to the fact Canada has found 4 post feed ban positives.
OIE board. (again more paper shuffling) We see Japan re-ban your beef Why?
Haymaker..... (With a wink to the board) I guess that is what you get for being nice and sending them a little something extra in their boxes for Christmas.
Oldtimer.......( elbowing Haymaker and giggling like a little girl) Please can we get a back to why we are here.
Haymaker .....( With a very sober face) If I could your honors I would like to add that the BSE the US has is not the deadly kind Canada has, ours is BSE LITE.
OIE board....... I think we have heard enough let use talk between ourselves. ( while Oldtimer and Haymaker leave the room High fiving each other and patting each other on the back the two board members bust out laughing)
OIE chairmen look at the two and ask Please explain your behavior, after they explain, the whole board has a good laugh and call Oldtimer and Haymaker back in.
OIE board...... Here are our recommendations to take back to your industry. (With a very sober look on face)
1. If you want to claim 99% compliance of an effective feed ban, have records that prove it, we don't rule on Hear say.
2. Just because your testing hasn't found more BSE doesn't mean your feed ban was effective, it could mean the spot light may not have been bright enough to stop all the cheating that Haymaker hinted to. So go back and test the animals we recommended years ago with the right testing protocol.
3. do us all a favor and get to work on a National ID system that works as your investigations have proven your hit and miss 100 year old Brand system is not good enough if you want to trade in the global marketplace.
4. Get all your packers together in one place and teach them what countries will except what and that boneless means boneless even when you are trying to get something on the record. Why should other countries except ban product when all you are doing is trying to discredit your regulatory agency.
5. Please tell your leader again that our guidelines are not written in stone step by step rules they are just Guideline. and more importantly we have never said that trade with BSE affect countries should be ban. We said after a complete risk assessment is done trade should resume under certain conditions.
Now this is for you Oldtimer since you have a background in law enforcement and are a Montana Brand inspector we have two requests of you.
1. Please call Nebraska and South Dakota and use your 30 years of experience and talk to the packer, trucker, sale barn operator, and feedlot guy and get the truth out of them even if it takes you all of a couple of hours. Stop harassing the Canadians for something that may turn out to have nothing to do with them.
2. The next request might take a bit longer but we trust you are as trustworthy and honest as your voters thought and will do all you can. It is to go back to Montana and find your fellow R-CALF member that is continually sending misleading attention grabbing headlines to the US Congressmen and Senators. As we are tired of repeatedly correcting the information he is trying to use to further R-CALFs protectionist agenda. Please start with pointing out to this poor mislead man that there is not one shred of evidence that proves CJD is caused by eating Beef.
Thank you both for bringing your request to us BUT since your answers and the US records does not give us any confidence in your system our final suggestion to you is go back to the US and don't come back until you can stop blaming others for your problems and have done something about updating your antiquated beef industry so you can trade in a global marketplace without risking others lives. ( which is followed by a group wink to the two Broke down cowboys)
Curtains close on Oldtimer and Haymaker with hats in hand walking from the board room whispering....... What the H*** do they know we are US beef producers and Leo told us we have the safest beef in the world raised to the highest standards in the world, besides our friend Sandhusker has gone on recorded defending Leo's comments about the US maintaining standards that would stop any risk of BSE being introduced into the US beef herd and risking US consumers. They both can't be wrong. ( at this point they take each other by the hand and disappear into the mountains before returning to the US)