Saddletramp
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Messages
- 255
Now that Jinglebob has made it back to the real world, I thought this would be a good time to post this.
If you all remember Jinglebob posted a poem about me sometime back and I believe he might have unveiled it at the Deadwood Gathering.
Well, here's my retort........THR BALLAD OF PARIS HILTON
Jinglebob and I done a show in Thedford town
Singin' and recitin', we really knocked them down.
Folks gathered from all over, town squares and church steeples.
mostly because by nature, we're a handsome people.
Coming home we was feeling forked, we's about to burst.
We hit Heart City and took a turn just to quench our thirst.
I saw some friends, went in this joint and soon had glasses tiltin'.
A young lady sat down and Jingle said,"WOW, You're Paris Hilton."
She turned red and said," No, I'm not." acting a little embarassed'
Jinglebob said," Yep, I'm sure you are. You look just like Paris."
" Well, I'm not." she said and gave a glare a-chillin'.
Jinglebob said,"Saddletramp, can you believe we found Paris Hilton?"
My friend leaned over and said" She's taking this real well.
She must have forgot her gun at home, it's kinda hard to tell."
Jinglebob said," Paris, I didn't think your nose was that big."
" Boy, you sure got pretty hair. Say is that a wig?"
Well she jumped up, kicked back her chair and started pawin' up the floor.
I tell ya folks, I'd seen this look in fightin' cows before.
I jumped between them and pleaded," Mamm, please spare our lives."
"Don't kill that buckaroo, he's got a child and three wives."
Then Jingle said," Is it true parts of you are made of putty?"
" I don't care what 'Enquire' says, you don't look that slutty."
She went to slinging snot and snappin' her ears and really throwin' dirt.
I thought,"Oh man Jinglebob, this is going to hurt."
Two big bouncers jumped in to stop her cause she really pitched a fit.
One said," We can't hold her long, you Cowboys better git."
Now, I've been in a bar scrap or two and could usually hold my own.
But I didn't want no part of Paris, she was fixin' to break some bones'
Ol' Jingle wouldn't give it up, I guess he couldn't see.
He said," Paris if you would buy, you could have a drink with me."
She wiped both them bouncers and then made her attack.
I gave Jinglebob a push and headed for the back.
We was almost safe when Bob said," That Paris is quite a girl."
She picked up a bar stool and gave it a whirl.
It went over our heads as we made a dive.
I figured we was lucky to make the truck alive.
So folks if you ever sit down with Jinglebob and Me,
It'd be best if you didn't resemble some celebrity.
But if you do, don't let your courage go to wiltin'.
Saddletramp just hopes you don't look like 'Paris Hilton."
If you all remember Jinglebob posted a poem about me sometime back and I believe he might have unveiled it at the Deadwood Gathering.
Well, here's my retort........THR BALLAD OF PARIS HILTON
Jinglebob and I done a show in Thedford town
Singin' and recitin', we really knocked them down.
Folks gathered from all over, town squares and church steeples.
mostly because by nature, we're a handsome people.
Coming home we was feeling forked, we's about to burst.
We hit Heart City and took a turn just to quench our thirst.
I saw some friends, went in this joint and soon had glasses tiltin'.
A young lady sat down and Jingle said,"WOW, You're Paris Hilton."
She turned red and said," No, I'm not." acting a little embarassed'
Jinglebob said," Yep, I'm sure you are. You look just like Paris."
" Well, I'm not." she said and gave a glare a-chillin'.
Jinglebob said,"Saddletramp, can you believe we found Paris Hilton?"
My friend leaned over and said" She's taking this real well.
She must have forgot her gun at home, it's kinda hard to tell."
Jinglebob said," Paris, I didn't think your nose was that big."
" Boy, you sure got pretty hair. Say is that a wig?"
Well she jumped up, kicked back her chair and started pawin' up the floor.
I tell ya folks, I'd seen this look in fightin' cows before.
I jumped between them and pleaded," Mamm, please spare our lives."
"Don't kill that buckaroo, he's got a child and three wives."
Then Jingle said," Is it true parts of you are made of putty?"
" I don't care what 'Enquire' says, you don't look that slutty."
She went to slinging snot and snappin' her ears and really throwin' dirt.
I thought,"Oh man Jinglebob, this is going to hurt."
Two big bouncers jumped in to stop her cause she really pitched a fit.
One said," We can't hold her long, you Cowboys better git."
Now, I've been in a bar scrap or two and could usually hold my own.
But I didn't want no part of Paris, she was fixin' to break some bones'
Ol' Jingle wouldn't give it up, I guess he couldn't see.
He said," Paris if you would buy, you could have a drink with me."
She wiped both them bouncers and then made her attack.
I gave Jinglebob a push and headed for the back.
We was almost safe when Bob said," That Paris is quite a girl."
She picked up a bar stool and gave it a whirl.
It went over our heads as we made a dive.
I figured we was lucky to make the truck alive.
So folks if you ever sit down with Jinglebob and Me,
It'd be best if you didn't resemble some celebrity.
But if you do, don't let your courage go to wiltin'.
Saddletramp just hopes you don't look like 'Paris Hilton."
:wink: