ranchwife
Well-known member
Subject: Theft from women
This is hilarious! After reading it I did an extra 2 miles on the
treadmill!!
I know this happened to me but hopefully you will all be careful and this
won't happen to you!!
This is a heads up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an
explanation to those friends and family who have.
Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an
urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years
ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who
would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I
resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was
next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new
rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my
original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear
complimented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts
would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning
I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of
my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.
This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a
time. How clever and how fiendish.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed,
something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without
warning.
In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?
My eyes began to remind people that they needed to buy a new pair of Hush
Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey
it now resembled.
That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee.
That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they
are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect
someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?
I think I finally found my thighs ... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a
really good price for them!
This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS.
P.S I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was
lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to
see that they were just hiding in my pajama bottoms. Now I keep them hidden
in my waistband.
This is hilarious! After reading it I did an extra 2 miles on the
treadmill!!
I know this happened to me but hopefully you will all be careful and this
won't happen to you!!
This is a heads up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an
explanation to those friends and family who have.
Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an
urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years
ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who
would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I
resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was
next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new
rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my
original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear
complimented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts
would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning
I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of
my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.
This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a
time. How clever and how fiendish.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed,
something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without
warning.
In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?
My eyes began to remind people that they needed to buy a new pair of Hush
Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey
it now resembled.
That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee.
That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they
are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect
someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?
I think I finally found my thighs ... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a
really good price for them!
This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS.
P.S I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was
lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to
see that they were just hiding in my pajama bottoms. Now I keep them hidden
in my waistband.
