a riddle

[Kato]

Worst elephant joke ever...........


What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants."

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?



Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

 

[burnt]

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?








What ever you want, he can't hear you!

 

[Silver]

How do you trap an elephant?
You dig a big, deep pit. Line the bottom with ashes. Put peas all around the outside.


...




.....








When he comes to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole :shock:

 

[burnt]

A man driving through the woods hit a rabbit. Quickly stopping his car he pours a bottle of liquid over the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up and walks back into the woods waving goodbye all the way. What was in the bottle?











Hare restorer with permanent wave . . . :roll:

 

[Kato]

A travelling salesman is driving down a country road, when he gets passed by a three legged chicken going very fast. Wow! He say's, and follows it as it turns up a lane and zooms in to a farmyard.


"That is quite a three legged chicken. I've never seen one of those." he tells the farmer.

The farmer replies, "Yep, we all like drumsticks, so we breed these chickens special."

"How do those drumsticks taste?"






"Don't know, we haven't caught a chicken yet."

 

[Kato]

Another travelling salesman pulls into a farmyard, and see's a three legged pig standing in the yard.


He asks the farmer why he has a three legged pig.

The farmer replies, "That's a very special pig. He saved my wife from drowning, he warned us when our barn was on fire, and he cornered a burgler who was trying to rob us. Then he found a lost child, warned us when a tornado was coming, and saved the whole family."

"Wow, that's quite a pig, but you still didn't tell me why he has three legs."








"Well, a good pig like that, you don't want to eat him all at once."


:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: I don't write 'em, I just report 'em.

 

[Faster horses]

What do you call a guy under car with one arm and one leg?


















Jack

 

[Kato]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


If a man spoke in the forest, and no one was there to hear him.......












Would he still be wrong?



and that's when the fight started..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[chrisy]

What do you call a woman who throws all her bills in the fire...

....Bernadette

what do you call an Irish man carrying two doors....

Paddy O'Doors...

what do you call a man in a pile of leaves...

Russell...

what did the shirt say to the vest....

'don't worry I've got you covered'

What do you call a woman roaming around the house...

Ivy....

what do you call a man with a rabitt on his back...

Warren. :roll:

I have a million of 'em...so I'll stop now.

 

[Kato]

Keep 'em coming.

I already asked "what do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other? "

Eileen.

I forgot to ask "What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg longer than the other?"

Irene.

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

 

[MO_cows]

Oh, Chrisy - Bernadette, that might be the best one so far! :lol:

If a one-legged woman were to wait tables, where should she apply?









IHOP!

 

[murph]

Why is the ocean angry?
















You would be too if you had a crab on your bottom!

 

[gcreekrch]

What sound does a dog make when it goes through a buzz-saw?









MMMMEEEEEOOWWWWWWWWW

 

[chrisy]

What do you call a man who wears a coat.......
Mac

What so you call a sleeping Bull.....
A Bulldozer.

What do you call a many who wears two coats....
Max

What do you call a man who can't stand....
Neil

What do you call a judge with no fingers...
Justice Fingers

What do you call a you call a Nun with a washing machine on her hear...
Sister-Matic

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on the floor...
Mat

What so you call a leper in a hot tub....
Stu


What do you call a Mexican driving a Cadillac...
Grand theft auto

last but not least for today....
What do you call a woman with a screwdriver in one hand, aknife in the other, a pair of sissors between her toes on her left foot and a corkscrew between the toes on her right foot.....
A Swiss Army Wife.

 

[nonothing]

What do you call a grumpy women?
"Anita Vacation"

has anyone read the book called :I pea nightly:by "rusty bedsprings"?

or "how i fell off the grand canyon" by " Eileen dover"?

or "how to be both left and right handed" by "Anne B deckstress"?

or"How i broke my tooth at the county fair" by "Bob Frapples"

Or "Always take me with you" by Justin case"

 

[Kato]

Or "Streaking Across the Desert" by Diarrhea Dick?

Or "The Open Kimono" by One Hung Lo?



:???:

 

[Faster horses]

Behind the bleachers by Semore Butts.

Antlers in the treetop by Who goosed the moose.

 

[Bruce]

"Dash to the outhouse"
Written by Willie Makeit
Illustrated by Betty Don't

"Hole in the bedspread"
by Mister Completely

And out of shute #1
Willie Everride
from Seldom Spur Montana

 

[chrisy]

Jump of the cliff....by Hugo First

What do you call a blind Dinasaur....Duthinkhesawus

what do you call a blind dinasaur with his dog...Duthinkhesawus Rex

 

[Soapweed]

"What's that on the road, a head?"