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Question for the Ranch Wives

I

I Luv Herfrds

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Nov 8, 2007
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Montana
What would you do in this situation?

Was helping a friend work cattle today. Went over close to noon. Well there was no lunch prepared. We were offered summer sauage, cheese, crackers and cookies. :?
Well tonight after getting the calves done went up to the house. The friends girlfriend was there. My kids came in cold and hungry. Nothing was offered to drink nor eat. Waited awhile, my daughter kept telling me she was hungry, still nothing was offered. Girlfriend was cooking dinner.
Our friend finally came in and the girlfriend finally offered us something to drink. He asked us to stay for dinner, but the amount made would not feed everybody there. At this point I was PO'd. Told him no thanks and left with my kids. :mad: :mad:

We are suppose to go back on the 1st to finish everything up. Tempted to not go, but alot of his friends no longer come to help him because of this.

Should I bring enough food to feed everybody there or just enough to feed my own family?
I hate the girlfriend. She only offered anything in front of him.
 
Hopefully someone hits your friend up side of the head with a two by four,knock some sence into him.Sounds nasty but if I'm correct shes the one you discribed in Everything else....heck I wouldn't want her around my kids even.If she was just misinformed didn't understand what happens when folk get together to work it would be different,but I think I'd REALLY think twice about going back to help....somethings got to make the boy think.Weird how some guys put themselves into those positions{NO pun intended}with a questionable type GF..... :roll: :?
 
:shock: when we haul hay or work cattle we always feed the help. now sometimes it aint much. bologna,pork&beans ham chips and drinks. no alcohol. we usually dont do but 30 or 40 pairs at anygiven time but who cares we still eat someting. we all work public jobs or are retired form public jobs so we dont swap money just labor.
 
I'd just fix up some really fancy sack lunches with cookies and cake and all kinds of goodies to take over with me when I helped him next- and when lunch time comes sit down in front of them and eat them and say sorry-you didn't bring any extra lunches along ... :wink:
 
Oldtimer said:
I'd just fix up some really fancy sack lunches with cookies and cake and all kinds of goodies to take over with me when I helped him next- and when lunch time comes sit down in front of them and eat them and say sorry-you didn't bring any extra lunches along ... :wink:
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Now that two other guys have invaded a question for ranch wives I will. :D
In addition to what OT suggested I would add that the neighbor bring his own lunch to your outfit when he comes to help you, and leave the baggage at home. If he lets this happen at his place he really isn't your true friend. But then, I am pretty direct. :D
 
Sign of changing times. I don't like it, but have seen some of it here. Not at my house though! We set a table. If I had committed to go, I'd go, and pack enough for everyone. She might not be shamed, but I'll bet he would. Next time he needs help, I might be busy. :o :o Janice just said MY eye I'd fix it, My wife would!! Just a technicality I suppose :lol: :lol: It is so rude to do that.
 
A wonderful, wise, elderly batchelor rancher friend told us upon arrival for our first visit to his home "my sisters taught me that the first thing to do is tell guests where the the bathroom is", then," there is the washer and dryer if you want to use it". Most of his guests came quite a distance. Then, he would prepare and serve a wonderful simple meat and potatoes meal, always saying, "oh! There's a woman here. We better have a vegetable." And the most he would allow me to do was dry dishes.

He grew up in the same SD ranch traditions we did. You ALWAYS offer to share with guests whatever hospitality you have in the way of food and beverage. ESPECIALLY those who have come to help you with work, whether it was reciprocating help or paid help.

Those neighbors we trade work with always serve meals, or a tasty snack and coffee if it's a really short work session ending far from normal meal time.

What to do in this case seems to me dependent upon how well you know the guy. How young he is, and his experience in ranch life. You could do him a favor by being friendly about it and pointing out that it is the neighborhood tradition to, at the very least, offer a drink of water or tea/coffee if it is 'snack time' or at least a simple nourishing snack or meal if it is meal time.......or well after, as some cattle working jobs end up being.

The GF being a dud in the manners dept. is maybe best left for the poor foolish boy to figure out.......except that bit about her deceiving him about her behavior toward you makes it a bit stickier a situation, doesn't it????

mrj
 
You could always call ahead and ask, "Are you servin a meal, or do we need to pack a lunch?" LOL

We always feed our guys that work cows too. As well as pay them day work wages. It's just somethin we do. They all love it, because they don't get that treatment anywhere else. On the rare occasion that I don't cook a meal, we'll feed ever one at the sale barn cafe after unloadin. But we pick up the tab. Good help's hard to find. So ya gotta take care of em.
 
When Megan was 13 and Ty was 11 they put in two 14 hour days helping a neighbor-they got fed the first day because he brought them home at noon to get horses so Shauna fed them. When I went to pick them up he complained about the kids slowing down wrestling calves as the day wore on- I told him you feed that useless f'in dog every day don't my kids deserve the same-we helped out a bit more but this winter I finally really got mad and let them know what I thought." Most guys don't mind working for free but an empty belly wears pretty thin. Let him work him cows by himself-even the slaves used to get fed before the war from what I read.
 
We always feed the crew. In fact tam is famous for her meals just like my mother was before her. We have help come for the Pecan pie. :-)

I don't really have any advice for you. I guess it depends on how good of a friend he is .
 
Thanks for the ideas and thoughts.

As for the friend he has been ranching for over 30 years. Girlfriend is a city girl trying to be country and no knowing anything and not really wanting to learn.
Friends wife died last year, so that is why we are now in this situation.
I can guerantee his wife NEVER let anyone leave their place hungry.

I always plan a big meal for when we have a crew coming over, even if I'm not going to be there because something else had to be done. Like when we rounded up the pairs this fall. I stayed up til 11pm making sure there was going to be enough for everybody to eat. roast beef, potato salad, ranch beans, pickles and a dump cake. Son's cat ate the bread rolls. :oops:They ate so much of the main meal they didn't even touch dessert. I know next year we will have the same people back helping.

I take pride in putting on a big feed. Does anyone else?
 
haha that good odnt!!

does this friend and his gf come to help you??

if they do, when it comes time to put on the feed pull her aside and ask her to help and tell her this is what country people do. if she is from the city maybe she does not understand.

heck i feed everybody, friends, free help, paid help it doon't matter, thats how i was raised. it don't have to be fancy or expensive but something in the belly makes everybody happy and its good to take a break to reflect on how things are going and laugh with each other.

if you got a beef with this fella air it out, no need to be rude yourself.

best way to teach, at least for me, is by example.

good luck with it!!

G3
 
Big Muddy rancher said:
We always feed the crew. In fact tam is famous for her meals just like my mother was before her. We have help come for the Pecan pie. :-)

I don't really have any advice for you. I guess it depends on how good of a friend he is .
Click to expand...

pecan pie??? when and where? or perhaps you should just Fed Ex me one....
 
Some people cannot see beyond their own needs. They will only put themselves out grudgingly. Girlfriend sounds like one.

Too bad he has linked up with her but pray he wakes up before making it legally binding or she'll pull him completely away from all his friends and family. It might be a kindness to explain to him what is going on rather than watch your friend go down without trying. If you put yourself in HIS shoes, what would you hope your friends would do for YOU?
 
We have'nt ran into this here but most of the ranchers are married and the wives are always trying to out cook the others.We have steaks every year.I like it when the young kids from the hamburger households ask (Can I have One too.)I have beer also I'm not holier than thou like many people try to potray they are.As a matter of fact I like a beer or two..

Myself I would just ask him how long were going to be there so I know how much food to bring.My wife would most likely call up the gal and ask if she needed anything prepared for the meal.That will useally piss off another woman and the competition is on.I bring coffee and Donuts for the morning also.I live 12 miles from our place so we have to pack everything.Were moving an old trailer house up there now so when it rains we can stay dry.
 
One of my wife's favorite things to do was cook for whoever came to help. We helped brand a neighbors calves one and since he was a widower she went over the day before so that she could have all the food ready to go in the over on branding day so she could put the food in the oven and still help drag calves. I never knew there were people who wouldn't feed you after giving them a free days work.
 
nonrancher I am his only woman friend who shows up anymore and yes I have told him what I see, but he is blinded by her. :roll:

Denny it is normal around here to call up the other wife and ask what she needs to be brought. The whole meal is planned around what each woman is bringing. I always get a laugh thinking about the year I brought potato cassarole and the next year 3 other wives brought the same thing and I brought something different. :D They don't try to copy me anymore because they never know what I am bringing. :wink:

rustynail I don't even want this girlfriend in my house. At our branding this spring, she and her friend went snooping through my house. My son caught them in my bedroom. I can't stand her.
She is more decoration then help.
 
If she is not trying to become part of the group and you still want to help your friend the only thing you can do is bring your own.

Its NOT a city thing to not feed people, trust me. When I have friends over they are well fed. But then I am southern.
 
oooooohhhhhhhwwwwwwweeeeeeeeee :mad: :mad: :mad: ....................don't much blame you for not liking her now, no need for anybody to snoop through my house unless it was needed (emergency, medical, something like that). don't snoop at others place and expect that of them!! have looked around others place for fencing when having to fix their fence when stock was out or somthing like that but not in their house. i'm very easy going but that would have struck a nerve quicker than a dentist!!
all show and no go is what she is, hope your friend sees the light or he will not have any friends left.

you must must be one of those good neighbors and friends still wanting to go and help cause you promised, thats how i feel.

free lunch and/or supper for a days work is plenty cheap pay in my book, but i expect the same when i help my friends out.

good luck with it! :wink:

G3
 

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