Talking about Homer moments..I heard a good one today,my sis-in-law was telling me about a guy she works with is really gullible,the girls he works with SIL being one of them,told him year 2000,that he had to go to Dr. for a shot for the Y2 virus....he went to clinic and asked for the shot.. :lol:
What is your best Homer moment...
- Thread starter Judith
- Start date
Red Robin
Well-known member
Couple of buddies and I were looking at a dozer couple days ago. One friend jumped in the seat and said , "hey, this thing is a four wheel drive."
He was serious and the other buddie and I just looked at each other wondering what he's talking about. I said what makes you say that? He said , "here on this lever it says FWD" I said I bet opposite of the FWD position is a REV. He just looked blankly and said yea , it does. I said forward you moron. :lol:
He was serious and the other buddie and I just looked at each other wondering what he's talking about. I said what makes you say that? He said , "here on this lever it says FWD" I said I bet opposite of the FWD position is a REV. He just looked blankly and said yea , it does. I said forward you moron. :lol:
Told ya we could all make each other giggle.
I was just reminded about another one of my famous blonde moments.
My uncle drives a rig. I was excited to see his brand new freshly painted rig. I said "cool how did you get the handle of "fire extinguisher" ?" He and about 20 of his buddys who were also admiring his new paint job burst into gales of laughter and said " um Hunny, that is where the fire extinguisher goes, that is a cupboard!
I was just reminded about another one of my famous blonde moments.
My uncle drives a rig. I was excited to see his brand new freshly painted rig. I said "cool how did you get the handle of "fire extinguisher" ?" He and about 20 of his buddys who were also admiring his new paint job burst into gales of laughter and said " um Hunny, that is where the fire extinguisher goes, that is a cupboard!
Jinglebob
Well-known member
OK, here goes.
Me and Jr was pulling a well by hand. I kept telling him to be real careful and not to drop anything down into the well hole, as it would really screw things up. He hadn't done much of this before, so I was really making my point about being extra careful, as we worked.
We used the loader to get the pipe started, and we had a lock on the pipe, so it wouldn't slip back down into the well.
I went to tighten it up to be sure we didn't lose it down the hole, took lots of time and gave it a healthy whack with a big hammer, only I hit the wrong side and turned it loose!
It went zipping down into the well and I started chewing my own butt!
Jr stood there in amazement as I gave myself the best butt chewin' he had ever seen.
When I cooled off , quit callin' myself bad names and realized that it wasn't so bad, that the pipe was still reachable, tho' a lot more work to get at, he started to slowly chuckle, all the while checking to see if I was still mad. Pretty soon the chuckles turned to laughter and the laughter to howls of glee!
I even had to join in!
Needless to say, he's never let me forget it and came home the other night with a story of his own.
He's working for a guy building and fixing barbed wire fences. He and his boss had just set a pipe H brace in the ground and they both had got done tamping it. Jr has always been around pipe thats been pushed into the ground, so he never even thought and grabbed the tamping bar and dropped it down inside the pipe, thinking it would hit the dirt in the bottom and still leave a little sticking out.
It didn't!
It dropped to the bottom of 8 feet of well pipe! He said he gave himself a real good chewing out for not thinking. I smiled! :wink:
Turned out alright. His boss said the tamping bar had only cost him about a nickle. Jr was still mad that he'd pulled a DAA tho'. :lol:
Me and Jr was pulling a well by hand. I kept telling him to be real careful and not to drop anything down into the well hole, as it would really screw things up. He hadn't done much of this before, so I was really making my point about being extra careful, as we worked.
We used the loader to get the pipe started, and we had a lock on the pipe, so it wouldn't slip back down into the well.
I went to tighten it up to be sure we didn't lose it down the hole, took lots of time and gave it a healthy whack with a big hammer, only I hit the wrong side and turned it loose!
It went zipping down into the well and I started chewing my own butt!
Jr stood there in amazement as I gave myself the best butt chewin' he had ever seen.
When I cooled off , quit callin' myself bad names and realized that it wasn't so bad, that the pipe was still reachable, tho' a lot more work to get at, he started to slowly chuckle, all the while checking to see if I was still mad. Pretty soon the chuckles turned to laughter and the laughter to howls of glee!
I even had to join in!
Needless to say, he's never let me forget it and came home the other night with a story of his own.
He's working for a guy building and fixing barbed wire fences. He and his boss had just set a pipe H brace in the ground and they both had got done tamping it. Jr has always been around pipe thats been pushed into the ground, so he never even thought and grabbed the tamping bar and dropped it down inside the pipe, thinking it would hit the dirt in the bottom and still leave a little sticking out.
It didn't!
It dropped to the bottom of 8 feet of well pipe! He said he gave himself a real good chewing out for not thinking. I smiled! :wink:
Turned out alright. His boss said the tamping bar had only cost him about a nickle. Jr was still mad that he'd pulled a DAA tho'. :lol:
Soapweed
Well-known member
A few years ago, I pulled into the gas station and filled up my diesel pickup. I went in and reported my purchase (these old pumps don't do this "automatically"), and the lady behind the counter said, "Your numbers don't jive." It wasn't long before she figured out that I had put gasoline in the diesel pickup. The hurry that I had been in, was suddenly put on hold. We pushed the pickup out of the way, and the next couple hours were spent draining the tanks with a battery operated pump.
I 'fessed up my boo-boo to a friend. About that same day, he was trying to start a tractor with a dead battery. Just as he hooked up jumper cables to his pickup, a call came through on his business band radio. He thought it would be good to let the tractor battery charge for a while, so talked for several minutes on the radio. Because the jumper cables were inadvertantly hooked up backwards, it fried all the wiring harness of the John Deere tractor. This cost quite a few bucks to get rectified.
We both consoled each other for our stupidity. But what really rankled as we thought about it, was that a local girl just our age, is one of the chief engineers in the Boeing Aircraft Company. For her to make a mistake like either one of us made, would be very costly indeed. Good thing she has a better head on her shoulders than we do.
Another friend told of one of his Homer moments. He had a lot of hay bales all piled in a confined area, and needed to build a fence around the hay. He pulled onto location with his pickup and worked hard all day to get a four-wire fence surrounding the hay bales. He didn't put a gate in the hay yard, thinking he could always do that later. Just at sundown, he finished the project only to find that his pickup was firmly fenced into the yard along with all of the hay bales, and no gate out. :? :x :wink:
I 'fessed up my boo-boo to a friend. About that same day, he was trying to start a tractor with a dead battery. Just as he hooked up jumper cables to his pickup, a call came through on his business band radio. He thought it would be good to let the tractor battery charge for a while, so talked for several minutes on the radio. Because the jumper cables were inadvertantly hooked up backwards, it fried all the wiring harness of the John Deere tractor. This cost quite a few bucks to get rectified.
We both consoled each other for our stupidity. But what really rankled as we thought about it, was that a local girl just our age, is one of the chief engineers in the Boeing Aircraft Company. For her to make a mistake like either one of us made, would be very costly indeed. Good thing she has a better head on her shoulders than we do.
Another friend told of one of his Homer moments. He had a lot of hay bales all piled in a confined area, and needed to build a fence around the hay. He pulled onto location with his pickup and worked hard all day to get a four-wire fence surrounding the hay bales. He didn't put a gate in the hay yard, thinking he could always do that later. Just at sundown, he finished the project only to find that his pickup was firmly fenced into the yard along with all of the hay bales, and no gate out. :? :x :wink:
the_jersey_lilly_2000
Well-known member
That sounds like a story "someone" told me where he'd been puttin a window in a lil hay storage building......the door locked from the outside.....he cut the hole...climbed thru....in and out...puttin the window in..that just so happened to NOT raise...was just one pane........when he was all done...he couldnt get outta the lil buildin and had to take the winder back out to get out. 
Faster horses
Well-known member
A fellow we knew went down to the chicken house and the door blew
shut on him, trapping him inside. Usually his wife would come to investigate if he was gone for very long. This day, however, someone drove up to visit her. He hollered a few times, to no avail.
It was quite awhile before she realized her hubby hadn't come back
from the chicken house and went to check on him.
He wasn't impressed. Things were a little cool around their house
for a few days.
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Then there were the people who were working on the roof of their
house and the ladder blew down. They lived outside of town so there
wasn't alot of folks around. When a car would drive by, they waved
and waved to try to attract attention. Many waved back, but no one came to help. Luckily, about sundown, their son showed up and got them out of their predicament.
shut on him, trapping him inside. Usually his wife would come to investigate if he was gone for very long. This day, however, someone drove up to visit her. He hollered a few times, to no avail.
It was quite awhile before she realized her hubby hadn't come back
from the chicken house and went to check on him.
He wasn't impressed. Things were a little cool around their house
for a few days.
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Then there were the people who were working on the roof of their
house and the ladder blew down. They lived outside of town so there
wasn't alot of folks around. When a car would drive by, they waved
and waved to try to attract attention. Many waved back, but no one came to help. Luckily, about sundown, their son showed up and got them out of their predicament.
Reflecting on my many Homer moments I realized for the first time that most of them have lhappened because I tend to tune out what is happening around me with other people when I'm involved in my own projects- the downside of being focussed I guess.
I may have shared this one earlier because it was so scary:
When our eldest son visits he usually kindly ends up doing some home project with us and this time it was rewiring a celing light. I had my mind on my own job that morning he was discussing the project with my husband.
So they were in one room up on chairs fiddling with the ceiling when I was in another room and the electricity went off where I was. I thought- well I know how to throw the switch on the circuit breaker so walked past them to the garage and was just ready to switch it on when my husband figured out what I was planning. If I had thrown it I could have electrocuted 2 electrical engineers with one mistake. It was way tooo close for comfort.
Then there's the time I set a fire under the ladder my husband was standing on...
:roll: :roll:
I may have shared this one earlier because it was so scary:
When our eldest son visits he usually kindly ends up doing some home project with us and this time it was rewiring a celing light. I had my mind on my own job that morning he was discussing the project with my husband.
So they were in one room up on chairs fiddling with the ceiling when I was in another room and the electricity went off where I was. I thought- well I know how to throw the switch on the circuit breaker so walked past them to the garage and was just ready to switch it on when my husband figured out what I was planning. If I had thrown it I could have electrocuted 2 electrical engineers with one mistake. It was way tooo close for comfort.
Then there's the time I set a fire under the ladder my husband was standing on...
:roll: :roll:
Jinglebob
Well-known member
:lol: :lol:
:lol:Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
nr said:
How big a insurance policy did you put on your husband? :wink:
L.E. Stevens
Well-known member
Just last week was asked to help gather a neighbors yearlings. Went to the pre-determined meeting area, gettin there before everybody else. Went to get my horse out of the trailer. Stepped into the trailer, going up to front to get the colt, I heard the rear door slam. Stood there for a moment feelin totally helpless as I realized that the latch had caught & I had no way out & no-one was within miles of me. When the others finally arrived, feelings went from helpless, to relieved, to acceptin more hecklin than any one man should have to endure.
the_jersey_lilly_2000
Well-known member
Grand opening of Sam's Club in College Station.....place is packed with people. Lil Lilly was a wee lil thang still bein carried around in her baby carrier. But I never used the handle thing to carry her....so I had it gathered up like a baby in my arms.....it'd been rainin cats and dogs when we came in. Naturally they had all those lil cone things that said "CAUTION WET FLOOR" there at the shoppin buggy parkin area inside the store.......
Mr Lilly gets out one of the shoppin buggies and is waitin for me to put her in it. He'd pulled it out, thinkin he'd got close enuff for me to just set her in it. Which I guess I thought so too....I leaned forward just a lil bit and both my feet flew out from under me....splits style......only before I got to the floor my knees bent....with my feet to the outside.....Lil Lilly and her carrier hit the floor with a BANG then a loud squawlin cry began.......bout killed my knees.....she wasn't hurt, just startled...but it was a big racket............Everyone in that area of the store stopped what they were doin to stare and make that shocked
sound......Mr Lilly is standin there with his hands still on the shoppin basket handle lookin at me....n said, "Well...................git up" (that's his favorite thing to say when I do one of my stunts in public........
Went bowling with some friends...had been yearssssssss since we'd gone. For some reason the wood floor leading up to the line where you let go of your ball was sticky......so you couldn't do that "slide" thing......it's my turn, I didnt know the floor was sticky....first ball of the evening. I got to the line and tried to do the "slide thing" and erked like someone had thrown on all the brakes. I teatered there for a few seconds, then fell flat out into the bowling lane.....where it's NOT sticky.......slicker'n snot out there. I couldnt get any kinda footin to get up..so ended up draggin myself over to the gutter so I could get up.....in the mean time I hear from the sitting area....."Git Up......Before someone sees you!!!!"
Mr Lilly gets out one of the shoppin buggies and is waitin for me to put her in it. He'd pulled it out, thinkin he'd got close enuff for me to just set her in it. Which I guess I thought so too....I leaned forward just a lil bit and both my feet flew out from under me....splits style......only before I got to the floor my knees bent....with my feet to the outside.....Lil Lilly and her carrier hit the floor with a BANG then a loud squawlin cry began.......bout killed my knees.....she wasn't hurt, just startled...but it was a big racket............Everyone in that area of the store stopped what they were doin to stare and make that shocked
sound......Mr Lilly is standin there with his hands still on the shoppin basket handle lookin at me....n said, "Well...................git up" (that's his favorite thing to say when I do one of my stunts in public........Went bowling with some friends...had been yearssssssss since we'd gone. For some reason the wood floor leading up to the line where you let go of your ball was sticky......so you couldn't do that "slide" thing......it's my turn, I didnt know the floor was sticky....first ball of the evening. I got to the line and tried to do the "slide thing" and erked like someone had thrown on all the brakes. I teatered there for a few seconds, then fell flat out into the bowling lane.....where it's NOT sticky.......slicker'n snot out there. I couldnt get any kinda footin to get up..so ended up draggin myself over to the gutter so I could get up.....in the mean time I hear from the sitting area....."Git Up......Before someone sees you!!!!"
Jinglebob
Well-known member
L.E. Stevens said:
Ooooo! Man, I'll bet you got ragged all day about that one. And the best part, they will give you a hard time for ever! :lol:
I ain't too sure I'd a told that one, on myself! :shock:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jinglebob
Well-known member
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:Grand opening of Sam's Club in College Station.....place is packed with people. Lil Lilly was a wee lil thang still bein carried around in her baby carrier. But I never used the handle thing to carry her....so I had it gathered up like a baby in my arms.....it'd been rainin cats and dogs when we came in. Naturally they had all those lil cone things that said "CAUTION WET FLOOR" there at the shoppin buggy parkin area inside the store.......
Mr Lilly gets out one of the shoppin buggies and is waitin for me to put her in it. He'd pulled it out, thinkin he'd got close enuff for me to just set her in it. Which I guess I thought so too....I leaned forward just a lil bit and both my feet flew out from under me....splits style......only before I got to the floor my knees bent....with my feet to the outside.....Lil Lilly and her carrier hit the floor with a BANG then a loud squawlin cry began.......bout killed my knees.....she wasn't hurt, just startled...but it was a big racket............Everyone in that area of the store stopped what they were doin to stare and make that shocked
Went bowling with some friends...had been yearssssssss since we'd gone. For some reason the wood floor leading up to the line where you let go of your ball was sticky......so you couldn't do that "slide" thing......it's my turn, I didnt know the floor was sticky....first ball of the evening. I got to the line and tried to do the "slide thing" and erked like someone had thrown on all the brakes. I teatered there for a few seconds, then fell flat out into the bowling lane.....where it's NOT sticky.......slicker'n snot out there. I couldnt get any kinda footin to get up..so ended up draggin myself over to the gutter so I could get up.....in the mean time I hear from the sitting area....."Git Up......Before someone sees you!!!!"
At least you got a loving and compassionate husband! :wink:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
SR
Well-known member
I've had many. But the most recent was a couple months ago. Came in one evening, running late as usual to get ready for annual rural water board co-op banquet. Wife was ready and I quickly showered changed clothes and we jumped in the truck headed to town. I am a board member so stood in a line with the other board members and greeted folks as they arrived. Had a nice visit with our new state rep., republican of course, and finaly went and took my seat on the dias with other board members. I happend to look down and saw that I was wearing two different boots.
They we're luckily the same color,well pretty close, but different styles.
No one said a word. I don't know if anyone noticed but if they did they must not of minded because my term as a board member was up and they voted unamiously(sp) tp put me in for another 2 years.
They we're luckily the same color,well pretty close, but different styles.
No one said a word. I don't know if anyone noticed but if they did they must not of minded because my term as a board member was up and they voted unamiously(sp) tp put me in for another 2 years.
EastTexasGal
Well-known member
LOL..and L.E. You call me blonde? lmao...uh huh....at least I hadnt locked myself in the trailer yet. :lol: :lol: :wink:
:lol: :lol: :wink:
A
Anonymous
Guest
SR said:
SR- I had about the same thing happen several years ago while I was still Sheriff...About 3AM I was called to a fatality hit and run accident on the Hiway on the Reservation....I dressed in quite a hurry in the dark so as not to bother the wife- but I didn't get away with it- as we were standing on the highway as the sun was coming up, a couple of the BIA Policemen started pointing at me and laughing- asking if "I was developing a new style trend"....When I looked down I found that I had put on one black tenny runner and one white one.....
At least it made for something to laugh about while working on what was otherways a grisley and grim task.....But for some time I was renamed Ol Two Shoes on the rez.....