You're comparing today's "neo-conservatives" to traditional conservatives. (which is why there's a power struggle within the GOP, afterall)
For example, traditional conservatives tend to want gov't out of basically any aspect of their lives. Business, private, etc.
Ie, a traditional conservative would never go for that whole "protection of marriage" stuff because it would mean gov't intervention in private lives. A traditional conservative doesn't support the war in Iraq because #1 it's blowing money left and right (not a conservative value) and #2 conservatives are traditionally isolationists. "Nation building" is a liberal concept, afterall. And so on.
I think it's basically the difference between tradional conservative values for oneself vs. the more authoritarian version that says "I know what's right and by golly I'm going to make you do it my way too". And of course most people who consider themselves conservative fall somewhere in between the two, differing issues making them lean further toward one degree or the other.
Being conservative with your money, morality, etc makes you a conservative.
Oh dear...
I'm frugal, don't believe in excessive taxes, attend church and study my Bible, sent my kids to parochial preschool (it's not an option past that age around here), have been happily married for 9 years to the only man I ever dated, can hunt, fish, change my own tires and assorted other fend-for-oneself skills...
--Why RR, you've just declared me a conservative. :shock:
All this time I thought I was a moderate. :wink: