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Most embarrassing first date!

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Dear Reader,
not back in the dating game myself but I don't think that it is do easy at any age. Us second time arounders gotta face this thing with humor. Lots of luck. Remember true love waits at any age. :D
 
REader,
Just catching up on this thread, all skillion pages of it :eek: :shock: and thinking it takes a brave person to join the dating arena these days. Are you going out with friends of friends? Not that that is foolproof either, but more likely to be safe.
I wish you well and hope you eventually find a kind, honorable man who is enjoyable and mentally flexible.
 
reader (the Second) said:
Well at this point I'm batting 0 for 2 since this last one turned out to be unsuitable. I am going to retire again for a while and think about how to meet men who are emotionally mature. Unfortunately the ones who are unmarried at this age are unmarried for reason it seems.
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reader- You need to read the Feb. 20 issue of Newsweek...The entire magazine is about all the single baby boomers- Entitled Sex and the Single Boomer- The new world of Midlife Romance...You will find that you are in a group of 30% of the population between the ages of 45 to 59 that are unattatched....
 
Reader,

I go thru a lot of calves before I find one suitable to be a bull, so don't give up. You are a classy Lady and deserve to have the right person,

PPRM
 
Has anyone on here tried E-harmony? I have heard some good things about it. Not sure what to think of online dating period. Although they had a big spread about how good it could be for people in the Rapid City Journal. I myself am gonna join a group for recently separated and divorced people. It is run by the church and isn't a dating group but maybe they have some ideas on how to start out into the dating world again when you are ready.
Maybe ranchers.net should start a dating part of the site. Seems like most of the people on here are married though so that maybe wouldn't work. :shock: :? :oops:
 
reader (the Second) said:
gunslinger said:
Has anyone on here tried E-harmony? I have heard some good things about it. Not sure what to think of online dating period. Although they had a big spread about how good it could be for people in the Rapid City Journal. I myself am gonna join a group for recently separated and divorced people. It is run by the church and isn't a dating group but maybe they have some ideas on how to start out into the dating world again when you are ready.
Maybe ranchers.net should start a dating part of the site. Seems like most of the people on here are married though so that maybe wouldn't work. :shock: :? :oops:
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I'm not fond of eHarmony. I believe their claims are unwarranted. They appeared to have sent me anyone within 100 miles. I couldn't tell with their system if someone had ever been married, had kids, or really much about their values or lifestyle -- all very important things to me.
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http://www.farmersonly.com/
 
I give you credit. It has to take a lot of guts to start into the dating scene. I think what would I do if I was in your shoes. I first would seclude myself on the farm but after awhile I would think I would long for a warm shoulder to cuddle up in. Good luck to all on Ranchers that are looking for a mate.
 
Mike said:
reader (the Second) said:
gunslinger said:
Has anyone on here tried E-harmony? I have heard some good things about it. Not sure what to think of online dating period. Although they had a big spread about how good it could be for people in the Rapid City Journal. I myself am gonna join a group for recently separated and divorced people. It is run by the church and isn't a dating group but maybe they have some ideas on how to start out into the dating world again when you are ready.
Maybe ranchers.net should start a dating part of the site. Seems like most of the people on here are married though so that maybe wouldn't work. :shock: :? :oops:
Click to expand...

I'm not fond of eHarmony. I believe their claims are unwarranted. They appeared to have sent me anyone within 100 miles. I couldn't tell with their system if someone had ever been married, had kids, or really much about their values or lifestyle -- all very important things to me.
Click to expand...

http://www.farmersonly.com/
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I know from my experances on Yahoo Personals they do alot of False Ads there - I have not been a Member there for 2 years but my Personal Ad is still there and I get email "I" can not answer - "But someone dose" - in the store the other day a woman had seen my picture - came up to me to talk about a email "I" had not sent her.

I got her name and email address - talk to 2 Lawyers but they say Yahoo is to big to try a Class Action - - unless "I" want to pay
 
Most of the sites are so full of players. Most of the people have unreal expectations. A 40 year old man is looking for a 20- 35 woman who is a barbie and going to have kids. In todays world it is so hard to be single and over 40.
Reader you keep on and dont give up the faith and/or hope. I still believe there is someone for everyone and the only reason they havent been found is there is still a bit more work to be done to make us who we need to be for them.
 
We have a widower friend, a youngish and active retiree. When his wife died he decided about half a year later that he wanted to find another wife and eventually signed up with Match.com after checking out some different groups. He filled out the questionaire carefully, said he wanted to date a Christian and how important church was to him. He was sent a bunch of different names within the certain mile radius he was willing to consider as feasible. Then he methodically began dating. It wasn't an easy process, some stress. I believe he said the dates begin with a daytime lunch in broad daylight which sounded llike a good idea. But, it didn't take him a year before he decided on a widow lady who had common interests, and they were married. It meant a move for him because she has an elderly mother also needing her attention. So there were some of the inevitable changes that had to be made, giving up one house for the other. But we think he has felt it was the right move for him at this time in life. It seems like one must hang in there and go through the selection process and not give up too easily. Like buying a used car!
 
OOOOOOO. I'm glad you said that about the "buying a used car " nr. If I, or another man would have said that here, we would have been crucified! :shock:
 
Slightly off the topic reader, but how did you know you were ready?

This is something that's been in my mind for the past few months since a neighbor/friend of ours lost his wife in a car wreck last fall.
45 year old mother of two, the girls are out of the house and he's just a bit lost... Fortunately he can't cook, so he eats supper at the bar most nights which means he can't be a hermit.

But the lesser half and I have talked about this a lot lately. How we would handle it if the other was suddenly killed next week. And I realize you had a chance to come to terms with it a little better than someone who lost their mate suddenly, but it still must have been hard anyway having seen how you talk about him.

I'm just being nosy, so if you don't want to answer, that's fine. I won't take it personally. :)
 
PPRM said:
Reader,

I go thru a lot of calves before I find one suitable to be a bull, so don't give up. You are a classy Lady and deserve to have the right person,

PPRM
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PPRM- Now we agree R2 is a nice lady but which direction are you trying to STEER her into?? :shock: :shock:
 
Reader,

I would say if you are running into duds, maybe you are looking in the wrong places. I am not sure why this comes to me as I am very married, so it is something I really never thought about. But here it is....


Think of what you would se as an ideal person to get to know. What are thier qualities and traits. What do they value. And finally, where do they spend time? Where do they volunteer? Then go there......Might be a church, might be a book club, might be a Nascar track for all I know. But probably isn't a bar and probaby isn't a chat room.

I also am not one to say they would have the same interests. At my age I think it would be interesting to date someone very different than me if I were dating. Imagine the world they could show you and you them. Teach me about Wine and I'll teach you about the dance of making a horse. ....

Anyway, there are lots of good people out there. The best are most likely a bit quiet and nondescript at first,

I really mean to say good luck more than give out advice as it is your shoes to walk in, so it is your path to find,

PPRM
 
A couple of very wise posts on this page. Thanks.


reader--Thanks for sharing. Yeah, I guess that's what I imagine. Where my husband and I have been together since we were 19, we've literally grown up together. The lonely feeling... I guess that's what I worry about. And the foolish mistakes I'd make because of it.
He's been part of me my entire adult life... That would be so hard to lose.

But all this gruesome pondering has actually been good for us. :D
People need a reminder on a regular basis, I think, of what their blessings are.




I hope he falls in your lap one of these days, reader.
 
There is the time of mourning but your spouse is gone and you are still here, so you eventually have to get on with your life.
After some relationships I ended up with a woman who is not only has all the qualities a man would want in a woman, but is also the best friend I have ever had.
I just can't imagine growing old alone.
 
Reader 2: This has been mentioned but comes to my mind again: join some groups. Recently a friend and I joined a monthly hiking group, short hikes in the tri-state area thru both country and urban settings- sort of like sight-seeing on foot and always followed by a restaurant lunch. We joined just for the exercise. Anyway we were surprised there were some younger men in the group, not all retirees as we'd expected. The young guys work night-shifts so are available for day hikes.

One of my relatives met his future wife when he was in his 50s in a hiking/biking group. And I've heard of folks meeting in oil painting groups, choral societies, gardening clubs etc. You live in an area that probably has more clubs of every type in existence than the rest of us on this net. Many of these groups only meet once a month so you could fill your calendar up with ...say...10 new groups? and make...hundreds?! of new friends in a very short time. All without the pressure of the singles scene since the focus is to learn something new and interesting.

I don't know if I'd have the oomph to get up and actually do that by myself if I were hunting for a husband, but I hope I would or that some friend would pry me loose from my house to do it.
 
nr---your story reminds me of one of my close friends here in ennis...she is 54, has lost a husband (and best friend) to cancer (ironic for a hospice/oncology nurse) and just recently met her "soul mate" through a group of folks who go on "organized hikes" throughout the mountains of southwest montana.....I have had the pleasure of meeting this man and he is her perfect fit!! My best wishes to all of you out there who are looking.....your soul mate is out there and he is also looking for you!!! :wink:
 
On Valentines Day, the local tv station talked about how farmers, country folks meet someone and they gave the website.. www.farmersonly.com for those that perhaps don't get out and about but want to meet someone likeminded. Since single men aren't out in the field where I have my heifers and cows for me to meet them and I don't care about shopping (we have a mall about 20 miles away and in the 8 years I've lived here I've been there less than 5 times).

The one thing I can say about farmersonly website is that most of the people are likeminded country folks. In the last 2 weeks I've been talking to this fellow that lives about 100 miles away, but hopefully, if all goes well (Lord willing and we don't get a snow/ice storm) I'll be meeting him in person this coming sunday.

I don't know anything about e-harmony, but I was not thrilled about yahoo or match. Too many people put up a picture that is not a current one (of course that could apply to any website). Also, I had a hard time finding someone that liked the country life and I am not a city girl nor do I ever want to live in town.
 

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