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Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Tuesday June 8, 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Class 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a...

............that was wrong in so many ways...................... :shock: :shock: and "thanks" to all the folks that thought I needed to see it (insert puke icon)......................... :lol: :lol:

Nancy Pelosi is now a Saint....CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ? On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's aide visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's sermon, and...

What A Coincidence! A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am...

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?' The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?' The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Norma...

kinda neat.......looked at some places I'd been recently & they haven't changed much 8) http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~usgenweb/special/ppcs/ppcs.html

Whores and Hockey Players: A man in a Idaho supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The gal (Yanuck) says she'll ask his manager about it...

no, not the condition, but the coat.....................Back in the mid eighties, they made a great goose down filled, quilted nylon coat. Got a couple back then and they're in need of replacement. Can't find anything on them now. Anybody know where I could get 'em now?

Given Oldtimers current dilema in Polticial Bull regarding his name-calling of McCain's wife, I offer the following as a point of reference for future threads in PB: HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN." 2...

keep a good friend & mentor in your thoughts. He got pitched off a youngster last night & broke his pelvis, perforated a bowel & tore up some other stuff. He wanted to track some steers "around the corner" on the colt but for some reason the colt wasn't havin any of it. At 62 years old, he's...

Near Fredericksburg, Texas, there is a large German-speaking population. A local rancher was walking down a country road and noticed a man drinking from his dirt stock tank with his hand. The rancher shouted: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means: 'Don't...

> http://oldfortyfives.com/thoseoldwesterns.htm

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course the woman...

Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to...

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this...

but its just that Men Are Happier People.............. NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah . If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When...

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your...

OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel. OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel. Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel. Can't buy it? Tough! Eat your oil! Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel a$$!!! 8)

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and A 1 lb. Package of bacon. As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind...

Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Mc Cain were flying to a debate. Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could...